Why Are We Denying that Women Used Ashley Madison? by R. Margolis

Why are we denying that women used Ashley Madison? by R. Margolis

(Link): Why are we denying that women used Ashley Madison? by R. Margolis

Aug 25, 2015

When it emerged that the hack on affair website Ashley Madison had potentially outed 36 million users, we the public berated the unfaithful.

But, if you look closely at the media coverage, it’s only the site’s male users who are being called to account. “Pull up your pants, gents. The game is up,” said Business Insider. “Don’t cry for the men of Ashley Madison,” said Britain’s Daily Mirror. “They deserve all they get.” After all, they’re the insatiable hound dogs so desperate to sow their maritally frustrated oats that they thought nothing of using their real email address to sign up for a site promising both affairs and discretion.

Meanwhile, women who use the site — whose details appear on that same list — are being ignored. “Ashley Madison proves women aren’t interested in casual sex,” screamed a New York Post headline.

Sure, it seems very likely that around five out of six of Ashley Madison’s genuine clients are men (allegedly the site (Link): added fake female accounts to lure more men), but that still means many millions of women signed on to have an affair.

That’s not an insignificant number — especially for a website marketed predominately at men.

Yet, the press diligently focuses its scorn on those reprehensible testicle-owners who sought sex with women who aren’t their wives.

Is it really so hard to believe that perhaps some female signups also drooled lustfully at the prospect of covert extramarital sex?

And that they were so blinded by the horn that they too entered indiscreet personal details?

But journalists are scouring the hack list for famous men, like noted family values hypocrite Josh Duggar, and seem unconcerned with exposing Ashley Madison’s female customers.

To stubbornly ignore the role of women who use the site gives an incomplete picture. Mentioning Ashley Madison’s female clients merely to dismiss them as an insignificant minority implies that it’s only really men who coldly seek affairs.

We can’t accept that women can also be sexual predators — or, at least not women who are in their right mind. The media loves to paints females who assert their sexuality as “out of control” or damaged.

The uncomfortable truth is that women sometimes cheat, like men, simply because they enjoy sex and want more of it, morals and consequences be damned. To disregard this, or dress up cheating and promiscuous women as tortured, unbalanced creatures, isn’t only patronizing but infantilizing and embarrassingly puritanical.

Even (Link): Vanity Fair‘s recent Tinder story, which reported on the app-enabled dating scene from both male and female perspectives, left you thinking that young women are the victims of men’s insatiable online quest to shag everything in sight.

… We’re getting better at acknowledging that women are sexual beings, but in the context of a sex scandal, we still seem to treat them as if they’re all naturally monogamous. Anyone with two X chromosomes who actively seeks out multiple sex partners must be broken or surely she’d be doggedly hunting a traditional stable relationship.

…. But men, we’ve decided, are perfectly capable of dealing with the emotional fallout of promiscuity — both on screen (look at shows likeEntourage) and off.

We refuse to see that this could also be true for some women. Or, on the flipside, acknowledge that perhaps not all human males can handle a high volume of sexual partners without being psychologically compromised.

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Related Posts:

(Link): Ashley Madison Proves Women Aren’t Interested in Casual Sex by N S Riley – a brief critique of this editorial

(Link):  There Are Almost No Active Female Users on Ashley Madison (and Related Ashley Madison News Stories, Editorials)

(Link): Groundbreaking News: Women Like Sex (part 1, 2) (articles)

(Link): Do men really have higher sex drives than women? (article/study)

(Link): Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality : All Unmarried Women Are Supposedly Hyper Sexed Harlots – But All Married Ones are Supposedly Frigid or Totally Uninterested in Sex

(Link):  If Men Give Love to Get Sex by M. Murray

(Link):  4 Sexist Myths That The Church Should Reject – 3. Men Are Primarily Sexual Beings and Women Are Not Sexual by R. Asproth

(Link): Superman, Man Candy -and- Christian Women Are Visual And Enjoy Looking At Built, Hot, Sexy Men

(Link): The Annoying, Weird, Sexist Preoccupation by Christian Males with Female Looks and Sexuality

(Link):  Christian Gender Complementarians, Target Removing Gender Store Signs, Women and Motorcycles, Social Science Doesn’t Confirm that Men Are From Mars / Women From Venus

(Link): Ryan Gosling and Shirtless, Buff Cowboy Photos on Social Media – Yes, Women Are Visually Stimulated and Visually Oriented (Part 2)

(Link): Boy Bands, Rock Singers, and Other High School Crushes – Yes, Women Are Visually Stimulated and Visually Oriented

(Link): Some Christian Women Use Pornography – No Duh. I’ve been saying this all along.

(Link): Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”

(Link):  Christian Gender and Sex Stereotypes Act as Obstacles to Christian Singles Who Want to Get Married (Not All Men Are Obsessed with Sex)

(Link):  When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men by A. Goldstein

(Link):  When society isn’t judging, women’s sex drive rivals men’s

(Link): New Study Released: Cheaters: More American Married Women Admit to Adultery (links)

(Link): Christian Teachings on Relationships: They’re One Reason Singles Are Remaining Single (even if they want to get married)

(Link): Ramifications of Pre Martial Sex – Sky Diver Husband; Also: Stereotypes About All Men Wanting Sex Constantly and Being Visually Stimulated Disproven Again

(Link): Can Boys Be ‘Coerced’ Into Sex? (article from Daily Beast)

(Link): Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother

(Link):  The Holy Spirit Sanctifies a Person Not A Spouse – Weekly Christian Marriage Advice Column Pokes Holes in Christian Stereotype that Marriage Automatically Sanctifies People

(Link): When Your Personal, Private Choices Enrage Others by Bella DePaulo (Regarding People Who are Single and/or Childfree)

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