Yes, There Is A Man Shortage and Other Reasons Why You Are Still Single (via NYP)
You’ll notice how some of the points on this list go completely against the nonsense that most (married) Christians tell single Christian women to do if they want to get married.
For one thing, ladies, dump and reject the “be equally yoked” teaching. If you want to marry, you need to realize that not all Non-Christians are awful, abusive jerks.
(Link): Sorry, ladies, there really is a man shortage (New York Post) by R. Tucker
- …Birger, a former writer for Fortune and Money magazines, crunched demographic, census and other data to show that it really is historically rough out there for the ladies.
- After noticing that his single gal pals were always complaining that “guys were ignoring them or were toying with them,” Birger decided to investigate. Based on his research, here are eight reasons why women can’t find a man — and strategies for increasing their odds.
- The men are playing you
- “There’s a lot of social science showing that men behave differently in different relationship markets,” Birger says.
- When faced with an oversupply of women, guys are more likely to delay marriage and play the field. Or, in other words, to act like guys.
- …For women, however, the longer a girl settles for casual sex as opposed to a long-term relationship, the more chance she has of ending up alone.
- …You’re not issuing an ultimatum
- “Ultimatums work in business and politics,” Birger says. “This notion that the only area of life you shouldn’t issue an ultimatum in is romance doesn’t make sense.”
- Researcher John Molloy interviewed 3,000 couples right after they got their marriage licenses and found that 60 percent of the women were prepared to walk away if their guy suddenly declared he wasn’t ready.
- You’re not making the first move
- The aggressive women are the ones more likely to get the guy.
- “I was talking about this with my rabbi, and he does premarital counseling,” Birger says. “Of the nine couples he had in counseling, seven of them shared a similar story: The guys all had several options, but they married the women who pursued them the most.”
- And ladies, don’t worry about turning off guys by being too pushy.
- “It’s a myth that men enjoy the chase,” Birger says.
- You’re Too Religious
- Consider dating a nonbeliever, even if it makes your grandma cry into her meat sauce.
- “People who leave organized religion are disproportionately male,” Birger says. “Atheists and agnostics are also disproportionately male. An atheist meet-up would be a really good place to meet men.”
- You’re working in the wrong job
- Slaving away in p.r., education, nursing, event planning or other female-dominant fields? Time to get a new job.
“Stanford sociologist Michael Rosenfeld reports that 10 percent of Americans meet their future spouses at work,” Birger says.
Some careers to consider: mechanical engineering (93 percent male), computer network administration (83 percent) and financial advising (74 percent).
- You’re Too Picky
- “For the women who wait [to settle down], the dating pool gets much, much worse,” Birger says.
- He likens it to a game of musical chairs. In the first round, fresh into the dating market, nearly every woman gets a chair. By the final round, the chances of losing soar to 50 percent.
- For example, some 20 years ago a recent college-grad female confronted a dating market that had 117 recent college-grad men for every 100 women. Today that same woman, now 40, if still unmarried, faces a market in which nearly two-thirds of those formerly single men are hitched, and there are just 33 eligible men for every 50 women — 52 percent more women than men.
“None of this would matter if we were open-minded about who we dated,” Birger says. “The problem is, Americans — both men and women — have become more rigid about dating across socioeconomic boundaries.”
To find a mate, college-educated women should consider dating working-class men.
“In the future, we’re going to see more of what I call ‘mixed collar’ marriages,” Birger says.