Married Guy Feels All Alone Because His Wife is on Cell Phone or Computer All Day and Night
Being married or in a serious relationship is not a guarantee you’ll have companionship and not be lonely.
I was engaged to a guy for a few years, and he was not meeting my emotional needs. He was a self absorbed douche bag who only wanted me to listen to him talk about himself, he never showed an interest in me or my life. Consequently, there were many times I sat in the same room with him yet still felt all alone.
Yet, our culture (and I would include Christians and churches in this observation) continue to portray getting or being married as the solution. They continue to present this picture of marriage that you will never experience loneliness or disappointment.
But married people often say they feel lonely or neglected in their marriages, if you pay attention – you can find these sorts of stories all the time in women’s magazines, forums where married people talk about their problems, and so on.
Before I started this blog 3 or 4 years ago, I sometimes saw other letters like this one, some of them printed in the newspaper, some of them online, every once in awhile.
About seven to ten years ago, I’d consistently see husbands write in to Ask Amy or Dear Abby to complain they felt alone in their marriage because their wives were internet addicts.
One husband told the advice columnist his wife spent all her spare time on Facebook, playing the Farmville game. Seriously, some women find playing Farmville (where they can feed digital cows and grow digital corn) more rewarding than spending time with their own husbands.
Also, on the page below, is a side bar with links to other letters, and some of them sound similar to the one below, married people writing to the advice lady to say their marriage is dead, there is no romance, they feel neglected or alone.
(Link): Letter To Dear Abby, August 2015
- DEAR ABBY:
- My wife and I have been married 22 years, and we had a good marriage until recently. Over the last three years she has become more and more consumed with her phone and tablet. She goes nowhere and does nothing without them.
Every night and weekend she sits engrossed in both devices until well after I have gone to bed. If I ask what she’s doing or who she’s texting, she accuses me of being controlling and not trusting her.
We can’t watch a movie, eat a meal (out or at home) or anything else without her constantly tending to at least one of her devices. She says she can multitask and I shouldn’t be concerned, but it has greatly diminished our relationship. I feel like when we’re together, I am really alone.
If that isn’t enough, I have seen her communications with other men, sometimes intimate, late at night. When I ask about them, she throws the same labels at me. What should I do?
–– ONLY HUMAN IN SOUTH CAROLINA