Duggar Pastor to Married Couples: Have Lots of Sex or Lose your Spouse to the ‘Sexual Revolution’ – (A Brief Critique of This View)

Duggar pastor to married couples: Have lots of sex or lose your spouse to the ‘sexual revolution’

I have several news articles I wanted to blog about, a few pertain to Josh Duggar and the Ashley Madison hack (in addition to the link you see in this post, farther below). I don’t know how I’m going to get around to making all the posts I want to make.

There is so much wrong with this item I’m blogging about right now, I’m not sure where to begin.

I’m an unmarried adult over the age of 40. I don’t have a spouse to have sex with, so how does this Floyd dork (he’s head of the SBC) propose I not fall into the “sexual revolution”? See, churches never think about adult singles who may be trying to be celibate.

I get that, yes, this guy’s sermon was probably prompted by marital infidelity (the Josh Duggar Ashley Madison story), but think about how telling a mixed congregation (mixed as in never married adults, divorced, widowed, and married couples) that the way to get someone from falling into sexual sin is to have lots of marital sex with that person.

What are the divorced and other singles supposed to do, then? Preachers never consider how their sermons will impact or come across to the singles.

Secondly, Josh Duggar’s issue extends beyond adultery. He molested some of his sisters and a babysitter when he was a teen-aged boy.

Or, maybe I’m not putting it the right way, but I don’t think having more sex or consistent sex with a spouse is necessarily always going to keep a spouse from cheating, but preachers often present this advice as though marital sex is some kind of magical protection that will keep a married person from sexual sin.

Conversely, when or if a Christian husband commits adultery, rather than hold that husband squarely accountable for his sexual sin, which should be the proper course of action, sexist pig preachers, who often subscribe to gender complementarianism, blame the wives!

These preachers will often say that if a husband has an affair, it’s because the wife was not giving him enough sex, not the right kind of sex, or she “let herself go” (as in, she probably gained weight or whatever).

Famous Christians preacher Mark Driscoll and TV host Pat Robertson have been on record before as saying if a woman lets herself go, doesn’t “put out” enough, or nags her husband too much, all these behaviors can and will drive a man to cheat.

Not only is this attitude sexist, not only does it not put the blame squarely on the cheating man where it belongs, but, most often, it’s not even true.

I have seen interviews in years past with married men who admit they were cheating. They explain that they had affairs for reasons like they enjoyed feeling validated by another woman, or they were feeling depressed, or wanted excitement.

These same men said the problem or blame was not with their wives!

They said their wives were attractive, wonderful, pretty, sexy, put out enough great sex, and so forth. It’s not that these men were married to ugly, fat, frigid, nagging wives, but that they were bored or empty and trying to fill that empty spot, and they thought the way to fill it was by having affairs.

Look at professional golfer Tiger Woods. The guy was married to a drop dead gorgeous super model wife, and he still had numerous affairs on her. I saw photos online of some of his mistresses, and they were no where near as attractive as his wife.

Consider movie actress Halle Berry. She is gorgeous, a multi-millionaire, I’d take it. One of her former husbands (or long time boyfriend) cheated on her.

The fact is, you can be wealthy and sexy and your spouse might still have an affair on you; I’ve seen this happen over and over to rock singers and movie actors.

Being beautiful or having a lot of money is not necessarily going to keep a spouse from straying, yet most Christian preachers keep spreading this lie that if only you are sexy or pretty enough that this will keep your husband from straying.

This approach does not work for Hollywood actors, so what on earth makes these preachers think it will work for Christian married couples?

Considering that Josh Duggar was molesting his own sisters as a teen, I’d say there is maybe something more going on there than a randy guy who cannot “keep it in his pants.”

That is, I seriously doubt having more sex with his wife Anna would have kept this guy from signing up for porn sites, Tweeting at porn actresses, and paying $1500 to have sex with call girls.

Considering that Josh Duggar’s wife Anna had four of his babies in a five or six year time span, it’s obvious to me that they were having sex once in awhile. It’s not as though Anna was withholding sex all the time, if he was getting her pregnant once a year or so.

The only other angle I wonder about in all this is if Josh Duggar, due to his strict Quivering type upbringing, which pretty much presents women as being nothing more than baby factories, has a mind frame where he sees women as either being Virgin Marys or as Total Whores.

I would guess he views his wife as a pro-creational sex mate and the porn star he paid to have sex with as being good for recreational sex. He probably felt duty bound to have sex with his wife.

Based on what I’ve read of Quivering families, or some extreme Christian fundamentalist families, wives are for creating heirs; they are not for having enjoyable sex with. That is what a mistress or prostitute is for.

Also remember one theme I hammer on here on my blog is that much of Christian culture depicts single women (unmarried ones) as being horny slutty slut bags, but these same Christians depict married women as being un-interested in sex.

Ergo, one will often come across preachers in sermons or blogs guilting or shaming married women into “putting out” more often. Supposedly, married women hate sex and have to be shamed into having sex.

Sex and more sex is not always a solution to every problem in life, not even in married life. Sermons like the ones by Floyd covered in the following demonstrate a naive or ignorant view about sex.

To reiterate, sermons like the ones summarized below bother me because they almost always blame the wives. Women are always being blamed by the sexual sins of men, inside the Christian religion as well as others, such as Islam.

I think the guy below, Floyd, mentions men and women, but the undercurrent is always “blame women, even if the man is at fault – find some way to pin blame on the wife for the husband’s sexual sin.”

(Link):  Duggar pastor [SBC Ronnie Floyd] to married couples: Have lots of sex or lose your spouse to the ‘sexual revolution’

  • Aug 24, 2015, by T Gettys
  • …The pastor [Ronnie Floyd] at the Duggar family’s church devoted his sermon to infidelity — which he blamed on pressures created by the “sexual revolution” — just days after Josh Duggar admitted to adultery when his Ashley Madison accounts were revealed.
  • Ronnie Floyd — president of the Southern Baptist Convention and senior pastor of Cross Church in Springdale, Arkansas, where the Duggars have attended — spoke against homosexuality, divorce and couples living together before marriage during Sunday’s sermon, reported People.

  • “This sexual revolution is altering mindsets, undermining the family, influencing the culture and is a mockery to Biblical truth,” Floyd preached in the sermon, which was available on live stream video.
  • The pastor specifically discussed the Ashley Madison website, which was targeted by hackers who released personal data of its married users — including the former anti-LGBT activist and reality TV star.
  • “We’re in a sexual epidemic of unprecedented proportions in this country,” Floyd said. “Nothing is secret now nor will it ever be.”
  • The pastor urged married couples to engage in “sexual conduct” to keep their spouses from falling victim to “the attack of the enemy.”
  • “That enemy is going to take your spouse away from you,” he said. “Both men and woman have their sexual needs met by someone, somewhere, somehow.”
  • The pastor had previously offered support for Josh Duggar, who admitted earlier this year to molesting four of his sisters and a babysitter more than a decade ago, when he was a teenager.

As to this portion of Floyd’s commentary:

  • ..The pastor [Ronnie Floyd] at the Duggar family’s church devoted his sermon to infidelity — which he blamed on pressures created by the “sexual revolution” — just days after Josh Duggar admitted to adultery when his Ashley Madison accounts were revealed.
  • Ronnie Floyd — president of the Southern Baptist Convention and senior pastor of Cross Church in Springdale, Arkansas, where the Duggars have attended — spoke against homosexuality, divorce and couples living together before marriage during Sunday’s sermon, reported People.

Then how does Floyd explain Josh Duggar’s fall from grace?

Josh was not, so far as I am aware, homosexual, nor did he engage in homosexual activity, nor was he ever divorced.

Josh Duggar was brought up in a wholesome, God fearing, Bible reading, Jesus loving family that kept him away from a lot of secular entertainment and the internet while he lived at home and was a kid.

Avoiding smut on TV, avoiding homosexual acts and divorce, did not keep Josh Duggar from molesting his sisters or from having affairs on his wife, or from viewing porn, or for having a very odd obsession with porn stars.

How does Floyd explain that his type of teaching and his type of Christianity does not, or did not, work for Josh Duggar?

Look, I’m no fan of the secular left wing’s attitudes on sex, either; they tend to be very hedonistic,  smutty, and immoral about sex, but on the other hand, I’m not seeing how a lot of conservative Christians are faring any better in how they live their lives, express their sexuality, or how they teach about sex, either.

————————-

Related Posts:

(Link):   Sex is Always the Solution – supposedly, according to Christian writers and preachers. (Also: Christian married men feel entitled to sex, contra 1 Corinthians 7:5.)

(Link):   Ashley Madison Has a Stupidity Factor – Men (by B Ellen)

(Link):  Salvation Army Bans Duggar / Quivering Cult’s ‘Retreat’ (Called ‘Get Them Married’) that Promoted Arranged Marriages for Teen Girls – Quivering Advocates Are Anti-Adult Singleness and Anti-Celibacy 

(Link): Another Christian Pro-Nuclear Family Marriage Idolator Married Father Caught By Ashley Madison Hack

(Link):  Ashley Madison Site Hack Update / Family Values Activist Josh Duggar Had a Paid Ashley Madison Account / Sexual Abstinence Does Not Necessarily or Always Cause Repression or Sexual Sin

(Link):  Focus on the Family Members Practice Infidelity or Homosexuality and Get Divorced and Remarry – links to exposes

(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Lifelong Celibacy as an Option for All Instead of Merely Pressuring All to Marry – vis a vis Sexless Marriages, Counselors Who Tell Marrieds that Having Affairs Can Help their Marriages

(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Chastity / Celibacy For All People Even Married Couples Not Just Teens

(Link):  ‘It’s a break from the kids’: Why parents cheat more than childless couples

(Link): You May Be Surprised How Many Born-Again Christians Use Ashley Madison (web site for married cheaters); story from Huffington Post

(Link): Why are we denying that women used Ashley Madison? by R. Margolis

(Link):  Christian Gender and Sex Stereotypes Act as Obstacles to Christian Singles Who Want to Get Married (Not All Men Are Obsessed with Sex)

(Link):  When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men by A. Goldstein

(Link):  When society isn’t judging, women’s sex drive rivals men’s

(Link): New Study Released: Cheaters: More American Married Women Admit to Adultery (links)

(Link): Groundbreaking News: Women Like Sex (part 1, 2) (articles)

(Link): Do men really have higher sex drives than women? (article/study)

(Link): Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality : All Unmarried Women Are Supposedly Hyper Sexed Harlots – But All Married Ones are Supposedly Frigid or Totally Uninterested in Sex

(Link): The Annoying, Weird, Sexist Preoccupation by Christian Males with Female Looks and Sexuality

(Link):  Ashley Madison Proves Women Aren’t Interested in Casual Sex by N S Riley – a brief critique of this editorial

(Link):   Christian Married Couples Who Think Husbands Using Physical Force on Wives Is Acceptable and Christian Married Men Who Deny There is Such a Thing as Marital Rape

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1 thought on “Duggar Pastor to Married Couples: Have Lots of Sex or Lose your Spouse to the ‘Sexual Revolution’ – (A Brief Critique of This View)”

  1. A couple of thoughts – I’m shocked by Pastor Floyd’s wife-blaming, when he should have put the blame solidly on the husband that cheats.

    What about Anna Duggar? The insinuation that she should have “put out more” for Josh to keep him from sinning is disgusting on so many levels. For one thing, she’s a mother with a newborn and two toddlers. That’s proof positive that she’s been doing her best to serve her husband. Now that her servitude has produced children,she is exhausted!! With babies and young children to look after she’s sleep-deprived, never gets a moment to herself, is being touched constantly, and I can well imagine that when the babies are finally asleep, all she wants to do is sink into her bed and pass out. Who can blame her? With all this responsibility on her shoulders, that her pastor would dare make her shoulder some of the blame for her husband’s wandering eye is cruel. She is not the one to blame, but she’s made to feel as if she is.

    Floyd’s suggestion that a sexually compliant wife is what’s needed to keep a man from sin also flies in the face of all the men who are still single. What about them? Who do they get to blame (besides themselves) if they fall prey to lust?

    I have a young male friend who got married only a year ago. He confided recently, that he thought that getting married would fix his lust problem. He was discouraged to discover that even with a beautiful wife, and still in the “honeymoon stage” he still feels the pull to look at porn and it’s a struggle he has to deal with daily.

    If a man is dealing with the sin of adultery or pornography, the marriage bed can not fix it, and blaming the wife when the husband has an affair is a shocking mis-use of the law and Gospel. My heart aches for Anna Duggar and I hope and pray that she is not blaming herself for the actions of her husband.

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