Christians Want to Hold Adulterers Accountable but Give Adult Single Fornicators a Pass (Tim Challies Blog)

Christians Want to Hold Adulterers Accountable but Give Adult Single Fornicators a Pass

To be consistent, shouldn’t Challies’ wife’s blog post about adultery contain the line, “We’re all adulterers now, even if we’ve been faithful spouses”?, especially if she cares to match husband Tim’s previous “We’re all fornicators now, even if we’re virgins” post?

I saw this blog post via Defend the Sheep’s Twitter today, and I find it oh so interesting for reasons I shall explain farther below:

(Link):  My Wife’s Plea to Christian Men – From Challies blog

The above comes from Tim Challies’ blog, and was purportedly written by his wife, Aileen. I would assume that Mr. Challies is fine with his wife’s editorial and even agrees with it, since it is hosted on his blog.

Before I explain why I find this amusing and forehead smacking worthy, here are some excerpts from the blog – which pertains to all the recent news stories of well known (and even not that well known) Christian married men who have been caught having extra-marital affairs:

(Link):  My Wife’s Plea to Christian Men 


  • Aug 31, 2015, by Aileen
  • …Why do so many men, and even so many Christian men, have such weakness when it comes to sexual sin? But even then I still had hope, hope in the truth of the gospel, hope in the power of the Holy Spirit.
  • In the years since, I have listened to more stories of more Christian men falling, wept with more women, and prayed a whole lot.
  • …I have counseled single young women to pursue purity. …I had hope.
  • ..Then came Ashley Madison and the suggestion that hundreds of pastors would have to resign after being caught with accounts on this website that glorifies adultery. And it’s not just pastors—hundreds of other Christian men, both single and married, have been caught up in the scandal. Now there are more broken homes
  • I have fought to understand the struggle men face. I have fought to have compassion. I have encouraged wives to extend forgiveness, to willingly and joyfully give themselves to their husbands.
  • But you know what? I just don’t know how I can keep doing it. Not when so many husbands are deceptively defiling the marriage bed. Not when so many young, single men are recklessly defiling the future marriage bed. Not when so many men seem just plain unwilling to change.

Aileen then spends the next few paragraphs scolding and shaming Christian men about their sexual sin. Seriously. She even interjects a few Bible verses here and there. She has several statements directed at Christian men starting with the phrase “You should” or “You are supposed to…”

She continues:

  • You know that the Holy Spirit equips you to succeed. God has given you everything you need in the gospel. So why do you keep failing? The only conclusion I can come to is that you are so consumed with self-gratification that you are not willing to fight, and I mean really willing to fight, this sin. If it’s not that you can’t, it must be that you won’t.

Contrast this shaming and scolding of Christian men, and her point that men can practice sexual self control, with a post by her husband Tim Challies, where he seems to think that sexual sin among unmarried men (and women) is inevitable, singles lack sexual self control, and he actually said in some post or another that “all fornicators are virgins now.”

Why is it okay in the Challies world to condemn adultery and married men looking at porn but not okay to condemn sexual sin among single adults? There is a discrepancy there.

Here is one post on my blog where I talked about this:

(Link):  Anti Virginity Editorial by Christian Blogger Tim Challies – Do Hurt / Shame Feelings or Sexual Abuse Mean Christians Should Cease Supporting Virginity or Teaching About Sexual Purity

It’s not that I disagree with Aileen’s diatribe against Christian men, single and married (but she mostly hammers married men, or ones who will marry one day), who engage in sexual sin, but I am noting with some degree of astonishment there is a double standard here.

You can’t really have it both ways – on the one hand, fall all over yourself sympathetically patting the heads of unmarried fornicators over their fornication, reassuring them of God’s mercy towards sexual sinners, then decrying Christians who shame fornication…

But then two years later, host a blog post by your wife filled with shame and scolding over extra-marital sexual activity, particularly adultery. Talk about cognitive dissonance at work.

You water down sexual sin committed by singles, but then two years later, under your wife’s direction, definitively slam and put down married Christian men who engage in sexual sin.

Gee, here’s a thought: maybe if Christians upheld sexual purity in unmarried Christian men (which may include some shaming over fornication, among other things), it would give them an incentive to stay seuxally pure after marriage (ie, not look at online porn, join cheating sites, or hire prostitutes, etc).

You cannot totally sit there and realistically expect married Christian men to be faithful to their wives when all they have heard was almost nothing in their single years (their youth and 20s) from churches and Christian authors but that pre-marital sex is not really a big deal, God will totally forgive you of pre-marital sex, so don’t sweat it, and that “even fornicators are virgins now.”

How can you expect someone who grew up hearing that watered-down version of celibacy, virginity, and sexual purity from churches and Christian authors and bloggers, to turn around after marriage and flip the switch, as you have not given them a basis or emotional support to be faithful sexually to start with, while they were single?

I just find it remarkable that the same blog (Challies’ blog) that basically said adult virginity is not a big deal, so what if you, adult single, fornicate, turns around two years later and publishes this “shame, shame on married Christian men who signed up for Ashley Madison and who look at porn sites and dabble in sexual sin!” post.

By the way, that all these Christian married men are using cheater sites, strippers, and mistresses, tells me that the Christian propaganda of “Just stay a virgin until marriage, and if you do, the married sex will be great and frequent” is a lie and fabrication.

Christians need to stop promising great sex for virginity – I just published a post the other day about a woman who was a virgin at marriage, her Christian husband was not, and he cheated on her numerous times over the years!


Related Posts:

(Link):  Adultery in Christian Marriage – One Woman’s Story, via SSB Blog

(Link): Stacie Tchividjian Attempting to Turn Repeated Sexual Sin Into a Virtue of Sorts

(Link):  Tim Challies, Who Is Fine With Single Adults Fornicating, Is Not Okay With Fake Sex on TV, As Portrayed by Married Actors

(Link): Please Owen Strachan, Tim Challies and Others: Stop Telling Adult Singles and Adult Virgins that their Singleness and Virginity is “For God’s Glory” – Just Stop 

(Link):  An Example of Mocking Adult Virginity Via Twitter (Virginity Used As Insult)

 (Link):   Stop Rewarding People For Their Failure – Christians Speaking Out of Both Sides of Their Mouths About Sexual Sin – Choices and Actions and How You Teach This Stuff Has Consequences – Allowing Sinners To Re-Define Biblical Terms and Standards

(Link):   Anti Virginity Editorial by Christian Blogger Tim Challies – Do Hurt / Shame Feelings or Sexual Abuse Mean Christians Should Cease Supporting Virginity or Teaching About Sexual Purity(Link):  Male Christian Researcher Mark Regnerus Believes Single Christian Women Should Marry Male Christian Porn Addicts – another Christian betrayal of sexual ethics and more evidence of Christians who do make an idol out of marriage

(Link):  Some Christians Have Some Very Strange, Unsettling,  Creepy, or Authoritarian Ideas About Marriage, Divorce, or Mate Selection – and they think they should make your life choices for you

(Link):  Tim Challies Christian Blogger Who Proclaimed That All Fornicators Are Virgins Is Now Telling People Not to Look In Lust – WTF?

(Link): When Adult Virginity and Adult Celibacy Are Viewed As Inconvenient or As Impediments

(Link):  Christian Double Standards on Celibacy – Hetero Singles Must Abstain from Sex but Not Homosexual Singles

(Link): No, Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity

(Link): Anti Virginity Moore Opines on Dirty Web Sites * Irony Alert *

(Link):  Celibacy is Not Just for Homosexuals or Roman Catholic Priests / and a critique of a post at another blog

(Link): Why So Much Fornication – Because Christians Have No Expectation of Sexual Purity

(Link): Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re Celibacy

(Link): Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – Easy Forgivism

(Link): Christians Who Attack Virginity Celibacy and Sexual Purity – and specifically Russell D. Moore and James M. Kushiner

(Link): Married Christian Couples and Sexual Sin, More Examples – and Women and Porn

(Link): The Church / Christians Have Failed Are Failing Older Single / Never Married Christians

(Link): Married Women Engage in Sexual Sin – and most men in denial particularly Christian conservatives

(Link): Article: Our Born-Again Virgin Bachelor – Secondary or Spiritual Virginity

(Link): The ol’ Christian myth that married couples are impervious to sexual sin but singles have lots of sexual sin

(Link): Gotta Maintain that Propaganda that Married Christian Sex is “Mind Blowing”

%d bloggers like this: