Are single Mormon women “screwed”? (from RNS – applicable to Christianity)
There are some similarities among evangelicals and Mormons, in regards to an over-emphasis on family and marriage, to the degree that singles get brushed aside.
The following page discusses this (please click the link to read the entire page; I have a few comments to make below these excerpts on my blog page):
(Link): Are single Mormon women “screwed”? – from RNS
- by Jana Riess
Excerpts:
…These women [single women who desire marriage, but there is a lack of single men], and thousands like them, are only “screwed” if everyone in Mormondom keeps telling them . . . .
That their lives don’t really begin until they get married, and that everything else, including school, work, and faith, is preparatory.
That their divinely ordained, primary—even sole—purpose for being on this earth is to bear and raise children.
That they shouldn’t worry about not finding a spouse now because they will be married in the afterlife! (As Ardis Parshall wryly put it, however well-intentioned that particular comment may be, it’s basically telling the single Latter-day Saint, “We have nothing for you here. You’re better off dead.”)
That they’re single because they’re too selfish or picky. (If the stark demographic of 150 single women for every 100 single men doesn’t communicate the utter fallacy of the “selfish/picky” argument, I don’t think anything ever will.)
….What might Mormon leaders and members be communicating to singles instead? That they are needed and valued just as they are.
— end —
I agree with the rest of her post (if we substitute the word “Christian” for “Mormon” or for “Mormondom”), but I wanted to focus on this part:
That they shouldn’t worry about not finding a spouse now because they will be married in the afterlife! (As Ardis Parshall wryly put it, however well-intentioned that particular comment may be, it’s basically telling the single Latter-day Saint, “We have nothing for you here. You’re better off dead.”)
— end —
Mormons have a totally (well (Link): not totally) different spin on this marriage in the afterlife thing – they take it literally. That people will be married in the afterlife, even though Jesus said there is no marriage in the afterlife.
However, I have seen Christians (even other adult single Christians!) say to older Christians like me who would still like to marry, that we have supposedly made marriage into an idol, and that to get over it, we singles who desire marriage should just focus on serving Jesus and think of the afterlife.
We should console ourselves with how super dandy t-teriffic Heaven will be, and if we do, we won’t have the ability to be downcast about being single here and now. Which is just a load of absolute crap. It looks like Mormons pull the same nonsense on their unmarried followers that Christians do theirs.
The RNS post at the top was that writer’s commentary on some article from TIME, if I remember right, and which I blogged about here:
Related Posts:
(Link): Men with ‘Golden Penis Syndrome’ Are Ruining Sex and Dating for Women
(Link): Do Mormons Worship The Family?, by J. Riess (This Is Applicable to Christians As Well)
(Link): If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn’t
(Link): Do You Rate Your Family Too High?
(Link): Mormon author says “we just can’t shame women” for not following the wife-and-mother script
(Link): Yes, There Is A Man Shortage and Other Reasons Why You Are Still Single (via NYP)
(Link): Man / Husband Shortage in Hong Kong – just like in American Christian circles
(Link): Family as “The” Backbone of Society? – It’s Not In The Bible
(Link): China’s Brutal One-Child Policy Ruins Men’s Marriage Prospects, Resulting in Human Trafficking
(Link): Does God Require Singles to Be Perfect Before He Will Send Them a Spouse
(Link): Following the Usual Advice Won’t Get You Dates or Married – Even Celebrities Have A Hard Time
(Link): Depressing Testimony: “I Was A Stripper but Jesus Sent Me A Great Christian Husband”
(Link): Five Things Single Women Hate to Hear
(Link): Topics Preachers Should or Shouldn’t Mention When Discussing Singlehood
(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)
(Link): Sick of Being Single / I Am So Sick and Tired of Being Single Alone Unmarried Lonely
(Link): Is Interfaith Marriage Always Wrong, Given that the Bible Teaches Us Not to Be ‘Unequally Yoked’?
(Link): Forget About Being ‘Equally Yoked’ – Article: ‘My Abusive ‘Christian’ Marriage’