Are Single Mormon Women “Screwed”? (from RNS – applicable to Christianity)

Are single Mormon women “screwed”? (from RNS – applicable to Christianity)

There are some similarities among evangelicals and Mormons, in regards to an over-emphasis on family and marriage, to the degree that singles get brushed aside.

The following page discusses this (please click the link to read the entire page; I have a few comments to make below these excerpts on my blog page):

(Link): Are single Mormon women “screwed”? – from RNS

• by Jana Riess

Excerpts:

• …These women [single women who desire marriage, but there is a lack of single men], and thousands like them, are only “screwed” if everyone in Mormondom keeps telling them . . . .
• That their lives don’t really begin until they get married, and that everything else, including school, work, and faith, is preparatory.
• That their divinely ordained, primary—even sole—purpose for being on this earth is to bear and raise children.
• That they shouldn’t worry about not finding a spouse now because they will be married in the afterlife! (As Ardis Parshall wryly put it, however well-intentioned that particular comment may be, it’s basically telling the single Latter-day Saint, “We have nothing for you here. You’re better off dead.”)

• That they’re single because they’re too selfish or picky. (If the stark demographic of 150 single women for every 100 single men doesn’t communicate the utter fallacy of the “selfish/picky” argument, I don’t think anything ever will.)
• ….What might Mormon leaders and members be communicating to singles instead? That they are needed and valued just as they are.

I agree with the rest of her post (if we substitute the word “Christian” for “Mormon” or for “Mormondom”), but I wanted to focus on this part:

• That they shouldn’t worry about not finding a spouse now because they will be married in the afterlife! (As Ardis Parshall wryly put it, however well-intentioned that particular comment may be, it’s basically telling the single Latter-day Saint, “We have nothing for you here. You’re better off dead.”)

Mormons have a totally (well (Link): not totally) different spin on this marriage in the afterlife thing – they take it literally. That people will be married in the afterlife, even though Jesus said there is no marriage in the afterlife.

However, I have seen Christians (even other adult single Christians!) say to older Christians like me who would still like to marry, that we have supposedly made marriage into an idol, and that to get over it, we singles who desire marriage should just focus on serving Jesus and think of the afterlife.

We should console ourselves with how super dandy t-teriffic Heaven will be, and if we do, we won’t have the ability to be downcast about being single here and now. Which is just a load of absolute crap. It looks like Mormons pull the same nonsense on their unmarried followers that Christians do theirs.

The RNS post at the top was that writer’s commentary on some article from TIME, if I remember right, and which I blogged about here:

• (Link):  What Two Religions Tell Us About the Modern Dating Crisis (from TIME) (ie, Why Are Conservative Religious Women Not Marrying Even Though They Want to Be Married. Hint: It’s a Demographics Issue)

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Related Posts:

(Link):  When Mormonism Sounds Like Gender Complementarian Christianity – Also: Man Shortage in Mormonism Just Like Christianity

(Link): Do Mormons Worship The Family?, by J. Riess (This Is Applicable to Christians As Well)

(Link):  Mormons and Christians Make Family, Marriage, Having Children Into Idols –
Biblical Christians should be very concerned that they are mirroring Mormons

(Link): If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn’t

(Link):  Otherhood – An overlooked demographic – the Childless and Childfree Women and Singles Especially Women Who Had Hoped to Marry and Have Kids But Never Met Mr. Right (links)

(Link): Do You Rate Your Family Too High?

(Link):  Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother

(Link): Baby Making Fixation at Christianity Today Magazine Online – Shaming Women For Not Procreating, or For Delaying Motherhood, or For Limiting the Number of Children

(Link):   Southern Baptists Pushing Early Marriage, Baby Making – Iranians Pushing Mandatory Motherhood – When Christians Sound Like Muslims

(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

(Link):  Mormon author says “we just can’t shame women” for not following the wife-and-mother script 

(Link):  Yes, There Is A Man Shortage and Other Reasons Why You Are Still Single (via NYP)

(Link): Man / Husband Shortage in Hong Kong – just like in American Christian circles

(Link): Gender Complementarian Advice to Single Women Who Desire Marriage Will Keep Them Single Forever / Re: Choosing A Spiritual Leader

(Link):  Oil Town Where Single Male Population Vastly Outnumbers Females and they practically rape the women – Reflections on the Christian argument that men will treat women better if women in short supply

(Link): Family as “The” Backbone of Society? – It’s Not In The Bible

(Link): The Isolating Power of Family-Centered Language (How churches exclude singles and the childless) by E A Dause

(Link): Christian Patriarchy Group: God Demands You Marry and Have Babies to Defeat Paganism and Satan. Singles and the Childless Worthless (in this worldview).

(Link):  China’s Brutal One-Child Policy Ruins Men’s Marriage Prospects, Resulting in Human Trafficking

(Link):  Christians Advise Singles To Follow Certain Dating Advice But Then Shame, Criticize, or Punish Singles When That Advice Does Not Work

(Link): A Critique of – 10 Men Christian Women Should Never Marry by J. Lee Grady / And on Christians Marrying Non Christians -and- Unrealistic, Too Rigid Spouse Selection Lists by Christians

(Link): Does God Require Singles to Be Perfect Before He Will Send Them a Spouse

(Link): Typical Incorrect Conservative Christian Assumption: If you want marriage bad enough, Mr. Right will magically appear

(Link): Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians Re: Marriage

(Link): How Christian Teachings on Marriage/ Singleness/ Gender Roles/ Dating Are Keeping Christian Singles Single

(Link): Being Equally Yoked: Christian Columnist Dan Delzell Striving to Keep Christian Singles Single Forever

(Link): Following the Usual Advice Won’t Get You Dates or Married – Even Celebrities Have A Hard Time

(Link):  Depressing Testimony: “I Was A Stripper but Jesus Sent Me A Great Christian Husband”

(Link):  Some Christians Have Some Very Strange, Unsettling,  Creepy, or Authoritarian Ideas About Marriage, Divorce, or Mate Selection – and they think they should make your life choices for you

(Link): Christian Single Women: Another Example of Why You Should Abandon the “Be Equally Yoked” Teaching: 21-Y-O Christianity Student, Children’s Minister Charged With Murdering Fiancée He Was to Wed in August; Made It Look Like Suicide

(Link):   Consider The Source: Christians Who Give Singles Dating Advice Also Regularly Coach Wives to Stay in Abusive Marriages

(Link): Five Things Single Women Hate to Hear

(Link):   Topics Preachers Should or Shouldn’t Mention When Discussing Singlehood

(Link): Never Married Christians Over Age 35 who are childless Are More Ignored Than Divorced or Infertile People or Single Parents

(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)

(Link): Sick of Being Single / I Am So Sick and Tired of Being Single Alone Unmarried Lonely

(Link): Is Interfaith Marriage Always Wrong, Given that the Bible Teaches Us Not to Be ‘Unequally Yoked’?

(Link): Forget About Being ‘Equally Yoked’ – Article: ‘My Abusive ‘Christian’ Marriage’

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