Hypocrisy: Secular Pundits Judge Christian Sexuality: Josh Duggar’s So-Called Vanilla Sexual Preferences Deemed Dull

Hypocrisy: Secular Pundits Judge Christian Sexuality: Josh Duggar’s So-Called Vanilla Sexual Preferences Deemed Dull

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Notice: The following post contains obscene language as excerpted from other sites. I may toss in one or two of my own expletives.

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I usually critique Christian views and commentary about sex and related matters here on this blog. And I end up not having flattering things to say about quite a bunch of it.

However, every so often, I see an incredibly outlandish, stupid, inflammatory, or hypocritical editorial or report by secular left wing, liberal Christian, ex Christian, or atheistic sources that unfairly and inaccurately skewer Christians, Christianity, or certain Christian beliefs or practices, and I feel the need to discuss it. This is another one of those times.

Unless you have been living under a rock that last few months, you should already be familiar with Josh Duggar, raised in the infamous Christian patriarchal Duggar family of the reality television series “19 Kids And Counting.”

A story broke a few months ago that Josh molested some of his sisters and a babysitter when he was a teenager, and his parents did not get him proper treatment for it, and they and the sisters continue to diminish the gravity of that entire ordeal.

More recently, Josh Duggar, who is 27 years old and is married with about three or four small children, has been in the news for apparently having signed up for the Ashley Madison site, a site where married people can find willing partners to have extra marital flings. I blogged about that (Link): here.

A bit after that story broke, a porn actress and stripper claims that Josh paid her over $1,000 for a sexual encounter that she said was scary and a little violent. She also said, I think, that Duggar had been following her on social media for awhile and had sent her messages.

As far as Josh Duggar’s leaked Ashley Madison information is concerned, his sexual preferences in a woman partner were revealed by several web sites.

Here is that list of Duggar’s sexual preferences taken from the Ashley Madison leak, as they appear on a site called “Preen.” (More on Preen’s coverage in a moment. For now, here’s Duggar’s list):

  • – conventional sex
  • – experimenting with sex toys
  • – one-night stands
  • – open to experimentation
  • – gentleness
  • – good with your hands
  • – sensual massage
  • – extended foreplay/teasing
  • – bubble bath for two
  • – likes to give oral sex
  • – likes to receive oral sex
  • – someone I can teach
  • – someone who can teach me
  • – kissing
  • – cuddling and hugging
  • – sharing fantasies
  • – sex talk

I believe (Link): Gawker also cited these as other preferences of Duggar’s (i.e., the type of partner he was seeking):

  • “A Professional/Well Groomed,” “Stylish/Classy,” “Casual Jeans/T-shirt Type,” “Muscular/Fit Body,” ”Petite Figure,” “Tall Height,” “Short Height,” “Long Hair,””Short Hair,” “Girl Next Door,” “Naughty Girl,” “Sense of Humor,” “Imagination,” “Creative and Adventurous,” “Relaxed and Easy Going,” “Aggressive/Take Charge Nature,” “Confidence,” “Discretion/Secrecy,” “A Good Listener,” “Good Personal Hygiene,” “Average Sex Drive,” “High Sex Drive,” “Dislikes Routine,” “Has a Secret Love Nest,” “Disease Free,” “Drug Free,” and “Natural Breasts.”

Before I get to critiquing how Preen and other secular sites and commentators have discussed Duggar’s sexual preferences, I do want to at least in passing mention a most interesting observation I’ve seen by Christians and a few Non-Christians about this.

Several of them pointed out that Josh’s lists seem to reveal a guy who is lonely and looking for ordinary sexual or relational traits.

They further notice that some of the characteristics he is seeking in a woman – such as a girl who is “aggressive,” “take charge” and who likes to wear jeans and t-shirts and so forth – is exactly the type of women his parents raised him to avoid.

You can read all sort of things into this, one of which being that the sort of extreme, wacko Christianity the Duggars practiced totally backfired when it comes to Josh Duggar.

Returning to secular sites such as Preen, which had this to say about Josh Duggar’s sexual preferences as stated on Ashley Madison:

(Link): “Likes to Give Oral Sex:” A Closer Look at Josh Duggar’s Sad Sexual Fantasies – Preen

Excerpts:

  • by B. Wiser
  • It is a universally acknowledged truth that some of the most fervent Bible-thumping, family values-crusading, no-sex-before-marriage-advocating people are also among the biggest porn-addicted, and oftentimes adulterous, hypocrites around.
  • And some of them even turn out to be bigots, domestic abusers and sexual molesters.
  • … Anna and Josh themselves had their first kiss ever at the altar.  Most likely it was all lips and no tongue action. And presumably they had sex for the first time after they were pronounced man and wife.
  • [Josh Duggar’s list of sexual preferences cited]
  • So far, so ordinary. On the surface, it’s pretty innocuous, standard stuff. Entry-level, even.  I mean, seriously, live a little.  Ask to be tied up or spanked. Try a threesome. Do some cosplay. Fuck in public or something. Conventional sex? As in missionary? Bo-oh-ring.
  • But examine the list more closely and you realize that what Josh is really looking for is connection. Intimacy. Closeness. Things that are actually part of a healthy relationship. Things it would seem he was neither giving to nor receiving from his wife, and perhaps vice-versa.
  • So far, so hypocritical. And so sad. But that’s what happens when you’re raised in a culture that fails to cultivate healthy attitudes toward sex that detaches sexuality from who we are as human beings and associates it with all that is sinful and impure and transgressive prior to marriage.
  • —(end excerpt / quote)—

Here are a couple of other, similar editorials about Josh Duggar’s sexual preferences (or which mention them and are critical of them):

(Link):  Ashley Madison Hack Reveals Josh Duggar Wants Boring Vanilla Sex: Can’t He Get That At Home?

Excerpts:

  • Let’s check out Josh Duggar’s sexual wish list (rather boring and you’d think it’s something he could have with his own wife):
    JOSH DUGGAR SEXUAL WISH LIST
    – Conventional Sex
    – Experimenting with Sex Toys
  • [cut the rest of the list]
  • —(end excerpt / quote)—

Left wing site (Link): Wonkette also seems to mock Duggar’s sexual preferences in sex acts and partners.

Excerpt from Wonkette’s page:

Awwww bubble baths, dildos and a 69 sesh here and there, he’s really branched out from all the sex tips he learned at home, which were mostly about how there are aliens in man semen, and lady vaginas are allergic to them. And maybe he’s never been allowed to swan dive into his wife’s muff [i.e, oral sex], that might not be “Christian” because you can’t put a baby in her that way, which is why he probably also included “someone who can teach me.” Good lord, we’d feel sorry for him if he wasn’t such fucking scum.

—(end excerpt / quote)—

While I can be critical of Christianity at times, I at least know what I’m writing about. I don’t try to set up straw men against Christians or Christian teachings about sex. These secular writers are so unglued in their seething hatred of all things Christian they don’t seem to spot their hypocrisy and their own judgmental nature.

These sorts of anti-Christian bigots feel that society should stop judging women for having pre-marital sex (no “slut shaming”), and that Christians shouldn’t have a problem with two men (or two women) having sex with one another.

They will usually – almost always – mock and ridicule adults who willingly choose to abstain from sexual activity (except for possibly asexuals – many Non Christians and left wingers seem to regard asexuals as being similar to homosexuals, as a special group who should be respected).

If, however, you are a heterosexual who is a virgin past the age of 30, or who is now celibate (for years) after having once been sexually active, you will most often be scorned, ridiculed, or insulted by left wingers, atheists, ex Christians, and liberal Christians on the internet for your sexual choices and sexual behavior.

I’ve written about this before, such as:

In the past, I have written blog posts such as this one:

Much like Christians who will shame or lecture Christians no matter what they do – if you never marry, you will get criticized by them for that; if you do marry, however, it has to be to another Christian. If not, you will be reprimanded for breaking the “be equally yoked” teaching.

If you, as a Christian especially, marry at 35,  40, or 45, Christians will fault you for that and insist you should have married at 21 or 25.

See? There is basically no winning. No matter what you do, no matter what route you take, you will be criticized for it.

If you choose not to have children at all, you will be chided by many other Christians for that. If you decide to have only one child, and proceed to have only one, you will be chided. If you decide to have ten children or more, you get chided.

If you use birth control pills or IUDS to space out the timing of any children you have, you will be chided. If you don’t have your first kid until the age of 35 or 41, you will be criticized for that.

In the same way, atheists, ex-Christians, secular liberals, left wing Christians, and all these other Christian-hating wackos who write posts ridiculing Josh Duggar’s sexual desires list from Ashley Madison, are just as stringent, nit picky, legalistic, and judgmental about sex as the Christians they criticize.

First, these assorted ‘anti-Christian- sexuality- values- ding bats’ will mock you for totally abstaining sexually.

But, if or when you do have sex, they then criticize you for what age you begin. You are thought sad or a freak or to be pitied if you don’t start having sex until 30 or 40.

For example (the poster mentioned below, in a group comprising mainly of ex-conservative Christians, specifically cited people’s 20s as a time to be experimenting sexually all over the place, and she felt those who did not are pathetic):

Now, it’s not enough you begin Boinking as a teen or college student with these critics of Christian sexual mores, no. No no no.

You must also engage in weird, gross, gymnastic- like, or outlandish sexual acts to qualify, or to be considered a winner, in their Sexual Olympics. And they set themselves up as the judges, who will hold up score cards to rank your performance and sexual choices.

I mean honestly, they gripe at you and ridicule you for abstaining sex, but if you do have sex, they also gripe at the age you start having sex, then they move on to picking on what sex acts you engage in or that you prefer.

You cannot win with these secular liberal, atheist, liberal Christian, ex Christian, or secular feminists no matter what you do concerning this subject.

While I suppose a case can be made to define or to consider certain sex acts as being “Vanilla,” I’m not sure where the line gets drawn and who gets to draw it.

Why, for example, does the writer of the blog post on Wonkette get to determine that “69ing” (sexual act where a man and woman perform oral sex on each other simultaneously) is apparently milque toast?

Maybe for other people out there, even for those who have been having sex like dogs in heat with ten partners per month since two decades ago, “69ing” is very thrilling, exotic, and naughty, and they just discovered this sexual position last month and think it’s great.

These left wing writers are so busy ridiculing Josh Duggar over his “Vanilla” tastes, they failed to notice on his lists, or did not weigh it enough, that he distinctly stated that he was “open to experimentation.”

And who knows what that means? Perhaps Duggar was open and willing to have his female partner spank his butt with a pine apple while he balanced himself on his head while performing a blow job on a dwarf. I mean, who knows?

Duggar also said on his list he was “willing to learn,” or wanted a partner who would “teach him,” or what not.

So, maybe Duggar was willing to color outside the lines of conventional sex, shall we say, and have a woman teach him how to perform oral sex on a bag of Dorito’s chips while running his hands through a bowl of spaghetti.

I mean, who are these left wingers who are hostile against Christians to say what Duggar had in mind?

Given that Duggar allegedly had a paid sexual encounter with a porn actress who said he was into rough sex, how “Vanilla” was this guy really? The porn actress said she had rough sex before, but Duggar was scary and a whole other level of rough in the sack.

You can read more about that here (off site links):

From Preen (describing Duggar’s stated sexual desires on Ashley Madison):

So far, so ordinary. On the surface, it’s pretty innocuous, standard stuff. Entry-level, even.  I mean, seriously, live a little.  Ask to be tied up or spanked. Try a threesome. Do some cosplay. Fuck in public or something. Conventional sex? As in missionary? Bo-oh-ring.

—(end excerpt / quote)—

Who is this author at Preen to determine that any or all of what Duggar was into is “Bo-oh-ring.”

Why is getting tied up by one’s sexual partner considered exciting? It sounds boring to me, not something I would want to do personally.

I don’t think “fucking in public” is all that out there or daring, either. It’s become some kind of cliche’ on sit coms about married people who’ve been married for decades to start having sex in their backyards or in their car, in order to spice up their sex life.

Porking in public or unusual places is so milque toast ordinary that The Simpsons prime time television cartoon show had an entire episode about it once, where Marge and Homer were porking in their car, at the mini-golf course, and everywhere else.

I mean, screwing in public is down right passe’, please.

“Cos play” (wearing costumes, and in the bedroom) is also a pretty standard way that married couples spice up their sex life, and that’s been going on for decades. I recall seeing letters to Ann Landers and Dear Abby about it in the 1970s and 1980s. There is nothing that sexually edgy, daring, or imaginative about Cos Play in the bedroom.

Yet the guy who wrote that blog post criticizing Duggar’s taste in sex acts thinks that he is the sole arbiter of what constitutes hot and kinky sex. Guy is in no place to judge Duggar.

I find the idea of a threesome revolting. I personally have no interest in that. That doesn’t make me a snooze or a bore. I especially would not want to participate in one if I were married.

To reiterate, those who criticize or jeer at Duggar’s preferences as being “too vanilla” or boring are usually the same types who get up in arms over Christians who publicly classify some sex acts or sexual choices as being immoral, scream that Christians are judgmental about sex, but then they turn around and judge Josh Duggar for the type of sex he was looking for.

Once more, nothing satisfies these yea-hoo’s. If you totally abstain from sex, as I am currently doing (and have been doing), they jeer at that – but if you start having sex, they spit on you for not being interested in dressing up like a hooker and your boyfriend like a sailor in role play, or for not doing goodness knows what.

Or, they criticize you because the idea of “69ing” makes you want to barf, not get off.

Or you have zippo interest in being tied up or spanked, so they will deem you a bore in the sack for that.

I also find the easy dismissal of garden variety, missionary style sex funny by these critics. Is not one of the goals of sex (I said one, not the only) to achieve an orgasm?

Well, missionary style position sex usually accomplishes that very thing (unless you’re a woman who needs additional other stimulation (Link): see this post for more about that).

It’s funny that these critics of Christianity would so quickly jettison one common and tried and true method for achieving an orgasm and one that a lot of people find fun, missionary position. That’s actually a pretty anti-sex attitude for them to take.

The anti-Puritanical Sexuality brigade – the atheists, liberal Christians, secular feminists – and so on – are just as bad about this stuff as the Bible thumping fundamentalist Christians are.

The anti-Puritanical sexuality posse and Vanilla Sex haters really do have some audacity dictating to other people what constitutes fun, racy, great, saucy, hot sex and to declare other forms some people may enjoy (such as missionary style) as “ho hum.” What judgmental prudes they are.

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Related Posts:

(Link):   Some Atheists Are Just As Ignorant About Adult Singleness and Celibacy as Progressive Christians, Secular Feminists, and Protestant Evangelical or Conservative Christians

(Link): Liberals Disagreeing on Personal Preference as Dating Criteria

(Link):  An Example of Mocking Adult Virginity Via Twitter (Virginity Used As Insult)

(Link):  This Is Why Being a Nice Guy Just Isn’t Enough by E. Tatum / Double Standards By The Anti-Celibacy Crowd About Friendships and Sexualization of Everything

(Link):  Marriage, Parenthood, Judgment by Christians and Non Christians – You Can’t Win No Matter What Choice You Make

(Link):   Weak Argument Against Celibacy / Virginity / Sexual Purity by the Anti Sexual Purity Gestapo – Sexual Compatibility or Incompatibility – (i.e., Taking Human Beings For Test Spins – Humans As Sexual Commodities) (Part 2)

(Link):  Ashley Madison Site Hack Update / Family Values Activist Josh Duggar Had a Paid Ashley Madison Account / Sexual Abstinence Does Not Necessarily or Always Cause Repression or Sexual Sin

(Link):  CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)

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3 thoughts on “Hypocrisy: Secular Pundits Judge Christian Sexuality: Josh Duggar’s So-Called Vanilla Sexual Preferences Deemed Dull”

  1. I completely agree: while I could say I have a fairly liberal stance about sexual mores, birth control and some related topics, I have been developing a strong distaste for ultra-liberal positions, as they are just trying to turn their views into the new standard ones, replacing “old-fashioned” values; but wasn’t freedom about respecting your neighbour’s choices, no matter what they might be?
    Also, I think disclosing people’s private information like this is quite unfair.

    1. @AndreaTorti90
      Thanks for commenting.

      Yeah, I think both sides (liberals / conservatives) can be wrong at times on some of these issues, or way far out there, or hypocritical.

      I’m more right of center on my politics and values, but I thank you for seeing my points about this.

      I’d say I probably spend more time on my blog pointing out beliefs or consequences of conservative Christian teachings (about dating, marriage, gender roles, sex, etc) that I perceive as being wrong, harmful, or nuts, but every so often, I see something by left wingers or atheists or whomever that just drives me up the wall, too.

      I’m not a supporter of Josh Duggar in general. I think he has some serious problems.

      On the other hand, it’s grating to me to see some left wingers, ex Christians, etc, ridiculing the guy for his sexual choices when they usually yell about Christians being intolerant or small-minded about sexual acts.

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