Liberals Disagreeing on Personal Preference as Dating Criteria

Liberals Disagreeing on Personal Preference as Dating Criteria

I am a right winger who usually criticizes other right wingers on my blog.

Sometimes, though, I do point out areas of disagreement I have with left wing folks, or I enjoy pointing out their absurdities, especially if it’s pertinent to the topics I normally blog about on this blog, like marriage, dating, gender roles, and so on.

Tee hee. Hee hee hee. This one makes me laugh.

I find this amusing. Two left wing authors, writing for different sites, several days apart, apparently contradict one another.

Sometimes, I am, even as a conservative, in slight sympathy with some points liberals are making on some topics, but I feel they go bonkers or into overkill, especially in regards to identity politics, and identity politics plays into their views on dating, and it gets messy and contradictory.

Here are the links.

  1. (Link):   Why Are You Still Rejecting Short Guys? by Tracy Moore – on Jezebel’s site

2. (Link): No Blacks’ Is Not a Sexual Preference. It’s Racism by Samantha Allen – on Daily Beast’s site

The first link, from Jezebel, pertains to hetero ladies who prefer to date men taller than themselves. It describes and addresses an article by another writer who scolds and shamed hetero women for being reluctant to date short men.

The second link is from Daily Beast and pertains to a topic the author refers to as “sexual racism,” and deals with homosexual men who utilize dating site categories to weed out ethnic groups they don’t want to date.

The first page, from Jezebel, argues that women should be allowed to date whomever they want, and should be allowed to base their dating criteria on their personal preferences, whatever they may be.

The second page takes the opposite approach, and insists that homosexual white men who don’t find black or Asian men physically attractive, and who sift out those groups to only consider white men, are racist.

I don’t recall this second page addressing the opposite situation: is it racist and bad for a black man to be reluctant to date white men, because he doesn’t find whites physically attractive?

At any rate, I am not grasping the second page from The Daily Beast in full.

What if you do have white men who truly do not find most non-white men aesthetically appealing or sexually appealing? Would this author just have these guys date guys they don’t find attractive just to what, prove that they are really, really, really not racist?

That doesn’t make any sense to me.

I’m a white lady who is first and foremost attracted to white men, but out of white men, I prefer guys who are brunette who have a full head of hair. I am not attracted to baldies, receding hair line guys, nor am I attracted much to blond white men or red heads.

So, that I a white, hetero lady, would prefer to date guys with brown or maybe black hair (my preference is narrower still, in that in that category would be brown), this makes me what, a Bald Man Hater or a Blond Man Hater?

So, I should only date blondes and baldies now, to prove to some far left wing types that I, shucky darn, sure as heck really don’t have anything against blondes or baldies?

Anyway, the overall take away is one liberal web page is telling people to date whomever the hell they want, based on whatever personal preferences they have, while the other liberal page is telling people, or strongly implying, that no, one should not date whomever one wants based on one’s personal preferences.

Here are some excerpts from both pages:

  1. (Link):   Why Are You Still Rejecting Short Guys? by Tracy Moore – on Jezebel’s site
  • At the Independent, a woman has written an essay saying that women who won’t date shorter men are as bad as men who won’t date fat women—maybe even worse, because you can at least change your weight but not your height.
  • Charlotte Gill argues that she feels sorry for short men and wants to make a stand for them. It has somehow become perfectly OK, she argues, for women to disparage the short man in public and rule them out on height alone as a romantic prospect. As a result, shorter men are discriminated against on the dating market. They have more trouble getting dates online than taller men, who have been shown in studies to receive more messages.
  • The thing is—it is OK to reject people for dumb reasons, or, at least, it’s better to do that than to lie to yourself and that other person about what you want. To begin with: who has the right to tell anyone what their personal criteria for dating can or should be?
  • Moreover, I think that A) men openly reject women for being fat all the time by never dating them in the first place, and B) women are, yes, just as picky, but it’s fine. When it comes to dating, nearly everyone is some form of Garbage Pail Kid somewhere in there.
  • The question is what specifically hideous Garbage Pail flavor. What I’m saying is that we are all dumb, and no one type of physical preference or repulsion is in the abstract better or worse than another—if some preferences, of course, do carry much more social connotation and weight.
  • … Here’s the thing: On some level we are all shallow when it comes to dating, and that’s nothing to apologize for because it’s how it works. We all like what we like. Attraction is sometimes something that forms out of a lifetime of exposure to one thing or another, the familiar or the novel.
  • Sometimes what you like is inexplicable even to you, but it has a pull on you regardless. It’s all so arbitrary, so specific to the situations and relationships that shape us, the images we all see and embrace or reject.
  • ...So the answer here then is not to shame anyone’s preferences—most of us come by them honestly—and certainly not to enter them into an Olympics of egregiousness. No shame if your tastes run to the conventional.

2. (Link): No Blacks’ Is Not a Sexual Preference. It’s Racism by Samantha Allen – on Daily Beast’s site

Excerpts:

  • Debates around “sexual racism,” as researchers have labeled it, are particularly heated within the gay community, although it is certainly a source of controversy in heterosexual circles as well. It is also an argument that could soon be settled by emerging sociological research.
  • A new Australian study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior entitled “Is Sexual Racism Really Racism?” suggests that the answer to that question is probably “yes.” Sex researchers Denton Callander, Christy Newman, and Martin Holt asked over 2,000 gay and bisexual Australian men how they felt about race and dating through an online survey. These men also completed a region-specific version of the Quick Discrimination Index (QDI), a standard survey instrument that measures attitudes on race and diversity.
  • After putting these two data sets together, the trend was clear: “Sexual racism… is closely associated with generic racist attitudes, which challenges the idea of racial attraction as solely a matter of personal preference.”
  • …“While society is generally pretty comfortable condemning racism, there has been a surprising reluctance among people—gay or otherwise—to challenge racialized sex and dating practices,” Callander told The Daily Beast.
  • …This correlation strongly suggests that racial discrimination on gay dating apps can be attributed to racist attitudes and not, as so many maintain, to benign aesthetic preferences. Sexual racism, it turns out, is probably just plain old racism disguised in the language of desire.
  • …For his part, Callander would like to see his team’s findings used in “implementation research” that could identify “strategies for reducing sexual racism and changing the way that people think about race and romance.” After all, if racism and sexual racism are indeed linked, then strategies to reduce the former should affect the latter as well.

One liberal site is essentially telling me it’s a-okay to choose men I date based on my personal preferences, but the other one seems to be saying, on that same score, NO! BAD GIRL! BAD!

——————————————————-

Related Posts:

(Link):  Transgender SJW Liberal Person: Biological, Lesbian Women Should Want to Date People Who Have Penises

(Link):  Hypocrisy: Secular Pundits Judge Christian Sexuality: Josh Duggar’s So-Called Vanilla Sexual Preferences Deemed Dull

(Link):   Inconsistency on Feminist Site – Choices Have Consequences

(Link): Inclusive Dating Liberals: You Should Date People You’re Not Attracted To Out of a Sense of Guilt or Duty (and which contradicts other liberal feminist views about women and dating)

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