Seven Lies That Purity Culture Teaches Women (via CBE blog)

Seven  Lies That Purity Culture Teaches Women

I do think there are problems with “purity culture,” but, I do not embrace the anti-purity culture’s tendency to diminish celibacy or virginity.

Anti Purity Culture individuals are so concerned to shore up the feelings of fornicators that they are willing to inadvertently “step on” the feelings of people who are virgins (or celibates), whether those virgins are 15 or 55 years old. I see this as being one big flaw with their stance.

Other than that sort of thing, I feel that most items on this list are pretty good. I have raised several of these same points on my blog a few times over the last few years.

(Link): Seven  Lies That Purity Culture Teaches Women by N. Collins

Excerpts

  • 1. Women are responsible for men’s sexual sin.
  • Purity culture claims that women’s bodies and clothing can cause men to “stumble” with lust. Rather than placing the responsibility for sexual thoughts or actions on the man or boy who enacts them, purity culture places the responsibility on the woman or girl being looked at and lusted after. It’s almost as if Jesus said, “If your eye causes you to sin, go and tell the thing you’re looking at to stop looking that way in front of your eye.”
  • 3. Women shouldn’t have sexual desire. 

  • 5. Women don’t enjoy sex as much as men.
  • Okay, purity culture doesn’t deny biology, or at least the majority of Christians don’t, but it does insist that sex is something men enjoy and women tolerate. The fact that God created women with an organ that has no other purpose than to provide orgasms is never mentioned.  Across the wider population, fifty percent of women cannot accurately label a vagina, so this is a wider issue. But for Christian women, purity culture’s silence on and discouragement of women understanding their own bodies leads to a situation where the clitoris (and it’s implication for mutual enjoyment in marital sex) simply doesn’t exist.

Said a commentator on that page:

comment by Cherished:

  • I agree with this. I was in a church that emphasized that men were leaders, but the women were responsible for “helping” them feel like leaders and for protecting the men’s sexuality and purity.
  • Girls who became pregnant were urged to stand before the church to ask for forgiveness while many of the men were exercising infidelity through pornography, emotional, and physical adultery.
  • When I discovered my own spouse’s infidelity and reached out to my pastor for support from years of abuse, it was minimized, rationalized, ad dismissed.
  • I heard “all men struggle with porn.”
  • The pastor was more concerned with me forgiving my husband and continuing in a façade of a Christian family than of holding my husband accountable and providing a path for him to repent.
  • I am very sad for my situation and for many other women who are living in situations like mine. I tried for several years to encourage him to go to counseling.
  • He refused to work on the marriage. We are now divorcing.
  • These messages were prevalent in that church-that women are responsible for purity of the man and woman and at the same time I heard that women can’t be trusted because they are constantly undermining their husband’s authority. I feel angry ad sad for this teaching.
  • I have no idea what it is to be cherished by my husband. I’ve been brutalized by the one who promised to love, honor, and protect me.

——————————

Related Posts:

(Link):   When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men – and how the stereotype flipped

(Link):  Christian Gender and Sex Stereotypes Act as Obstacles to Christian Singles Who Want to Get Married (Not All Men Are Obsessed with Sex)

(Link): Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”

(Link): Groundbreaking News: Women Like Sex (part 1, 2) (articles)

(Link): Why are we denying that women used Ashley Madison? by R. Margolis

(Link):  When society isn’t judging, women’s sex drive rivals men’s

(Link): Women are buying more sex than ever before, new research claims (May 2015)

(Link): Ramifications of Pre Martial Sex – Sky Diver Husband; Also: Stereotypes About All Men Wanting Sex Constantly and Being Visually Stimulated Disproven Again

(Link): Do men really have higher sex drives than women? (article/study)

(Link): Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality : All Unmarried Women Are Supposedly Hyper Sexed Harlots – But All Married Ones are Supposedly Frigid or Totally Uninterested in Sex

(Link): The Annoying, Weird, Sexist Preoccupation by Christian Males with Female Looks and Sexuality

(Link): Some Christian Women Use Pornography – No Duh. I’ve been saying this all along.

(Link): The Secret Women’s Porn Problem (article about Christian women who use porn)

(Link): New Study Released: Cheaters: More American Married Women Admit to Adultery (links)

(Link): Superman, Man Candy -and- Christian Women Are Visual And Enjoy Looking At Built, Hot, Sexy Men

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