Seven things every man needs to know before marriage (via Fox news)
I’m not sure I’m in total agreement with every point on this page I am linking to below, but I liked a few of the points.
I do like the fact that the author mentions that everyone comes with baggage.
The whole baggage topic usually annoys me quite a bit. You will have men say one reason they will not date older women (women closer to their own age; the reason- why you see 50 year old men chasing after 25 year old women), is because they incorrectly believe that older women have “baggage,” but younger ones do not.
That is not so.
I explained in a much older post on my blog (perhaps (Link): this one) how the opposite can often be true – older women, if they have their head on straight – have already worked through their baggage and are now accepting of themselves and are in a more mentally healthy place to be in a relationship, where-as a lot of younger women are deeply insecure, codependent, don’t know who they are, and still struggle with the baggage they got in their girlhoods or teen years.
And of course, a lot of these idiot men who say they want to date much younger women because older women supposedly have baggage themselves have baggage. That is, some older men have baggage as well. Having baggage is not confined to any one gender or age group.
I’m pasting in #3 from this guy’s list. My ex-fiancee was a Mama’s Boy. He not only expected me to be like his Mama and take care of him, but he deferred to his mother frequently. He expected me to defer to her and permit her to be verbally abusive to me.
(Link): Seven things every man needs to know before marriage by J Rogers
- ….Now that I’m seven years into a happy marriage, if I could give some tips to all the single men about adjusting their hopes for life after the wedding, here’s what I would say:
- 1. You are more difficult to live with than you realize.
- When you’re single, you don’t usually see how hard it is to be stuck with you. Why? Because your closest relationships are often with buddies or girlfriends you can leave behind whenever things get messy.
- But if you commit the rest of your life to being with an honest woman, she’s going to let you know that you’re disorganized, that your jokes aren’t funny, or that you constantly break your word.
- At that point, you’ll either live in denial or change. Either way, if your wife is just telling you the truth in love, you’ll be getting the gift of some hard medicine you’ve probably needed for a long time.
- 2. No matter how good of a woman your wife is, just like you, she’s got issues.
- There’s this lie you’ve believed that if you can just find a woman who’s pretty and well-adjusted enough, you’ll marry someone who doesn’t have any major issues. Wrong.
- Your wife’s insecurities and emotional baggage will be just as intense and vexing as yours, but she’s probably going to work through her issues differently than you do.
- Depending on how different her personality is, it will be perplexing at times.
- Try to think of it as a continuing educational experience.
- 3. The role your mother played in your life is very different than the one your wife will play.
- Whatever expectations you’ve developed for your relationship with your mom, don’t carry those into marriage.
- If you’ve chosen a good wife, let her be a good wife in her own right.
- She might not have all the strengths (or weaknesses) your mom has, but then again, she’s not your mother; she’s your wife. It’s a new day, a new relationship — move on.
- 4. Married sex can be really awesome.
- I realize that Hollywood has convinced you that sex is only fun when it’s promiscuous. But there’s something really powerful when a man and woman give themselves solely to each other and spend years sharing the thousands of touches that make them the foremost experts on each other’s pleasure. When that happens, not only is it incredibly satisfying, it deepens their relationship in ways that will far surpass the temporary thrill of casual sex or (more likely) watching porn. And speaking of porn…
5. Make sure your wife is the only one meeting your sexual needs.
I’m not too thrilled with his “kids bless marriage” or “pray with your wife” points, so I’m not including those here. You can click on over to read his entire list on the Fox news site.