Advent of the Virgin Births: Women who Have Never Been in a Relationship Paying £5,000 to Get Pregnant

Advent of the Virgin Births: Women who Have Never Been in a Relationship Paying £5,000 to Get Pregnant

This article says that this practice has critics. Oh good lord. My fellow conservatives, and a lot of Christians, whine and moan about women such as myself, who never married or who never had kids.

One staple of Christian gender complementarianism is to teach men and women (but especially women) that their “highest calling in life” is to become a parent (mother).

So, you get really marginalized in their world if you don’t have a kid – whether due to choice, infertility, or what some term situational infertility (ie, the women never met the right guy).

But here you have women who are virgins who are getting pregnant via IVF or by whatever method, and they are still getting criticized.

Like I said in an earlier post, (Link): no matter how you slice it, no matter what you do – if you have kids or don’t have kids, or if you say, have kids at age 35 or 45, or, say, only have one kid or have 15 kids, Christians and conservatives will criticize you for it.

If you use birth control, they will criticize you for that, or for what type of birth control you use.

There is no winning, no matter what life choices you make, or no matter what circumstances you find yourself in.

Conservatives and Christians practically demand that all women become mothers, but becoming a mother is not good enough – no no no. You must only become a mother in a manner in which THEY APPROVE.

Some religious guy is quoted in this article as saying IVF turns women into nothing more than breeding machines – but Islam and conservative Christianity already treat women as though they are nothing more than breeding machines. Conservative Christians certainly have no respect for virgin (childless) women who are over the age of 25 / 30.

Conservative religious types also penalize women who have a child outside of marriage – I have blogged a few times before about Jewish or Christian employers who have FIRED women from their jobs who had sex prior to marriage, who became pregnant (like (Link): this story, for example).

Religious types punish women coming and going for having kids, for not having kids, or, if they do have a kid, for WHEN they have a kid, and if they do it with a man or alone  (ie, IVF).

Concerning marital status and child bearing, there is NO WINNING with these people, outside a very narrow set of parameters that are not possible for every woman to meet (i.e, getting married to a great guy by one’s mid 20s and then having a kid before the age of 30 with said husband).

Notice that someone in this article, Daws, associates having sex with being a full adult. She assumes, quite condescendingly, that virgins are incapable of knowing or having maturity or are capable of forming close bonds with another human being. Daws is incorrect. A person does not have to have sex with another person to be mature or capable of bonding. To suggest otherwise is deeply insulting.

(Link): Advent of the virgin births: Women who have never been in a relationship paying £5,000 to get pregnant

  • by Rachel Ellis
  • At least 25 straight women who’ve never had sex have given birth via IVF
  • Four British firms known to have helped the women with £5,000 treatment
  • Doctors say women often don’t want to wait for their ideal man
  • Critics have said the practice undermines process of motherhood 
  • Dozens of young heterosexual women have had virgin births after undergoing IVF in Britain, The Mail on Sunday can reveal.
  • Some are using the £5,000 fertility treatment to bypass the need to involve a man, and others so that they can save themselves for a ‘special relationship’.
  • Doctors said last night at least 25 straight women had given birth in the past five years despite being virgins. But campaigners for the traditional family said the ‘distorted’ move turned babies into little more than ‘teddy bears’ to be ‘picked off the shelf’.
  • Religious groups said it undermined the importance of bringing up children in a stable marriage, while a leading psychotherapist warned that having a mother who had never been in a relationship could harm a child’s development.

  • At least four major British IVF firms have helped heterosexual, virginal women conceive and become mothers, The Mail on Sunday has found.
  • One is Care Fertility, which runs five centres across England. Maha Ragunath, medical director of its clinic in Nottingham, said: ‘The number of single women I see has doubled over the last decade and single women now account for at least ten per cent of my patients.
  • ‘A lot of them are very young, in their 20s, sometimes studying or doing very ordinary jobs and often living with their parents, rather than career women who have been driven and focused too much on their work.
  • ‘When I ask them why they are coming for treatment, very often the response is that they are ready to have a child and they don’t want to wait around for the right partner to come along.
  • ‘A small percentage have never been in a relationship and never had sexual intercourse.
  • …Over the past three years, Miss Ragunath has treated three such single virgin women: one a nurse, another living at home with her parents, and a third who needed multiple rounds of IVF. All became mothers.
  • Heterosexual virgins will have paid for their own treatment, as NHS rules state women must ‘have been trying to get pregnant through regular unprotected sexual intercourse’ for two years before applying.

  • But the development has angered many. Josephine Quintavalle, of the group Comment on Reproductive Ethics, said: ‘What is the child for these women? A teddy bear that they pick off the shelf?

  • ‘The message from nature is for a male and female to have a child, and I am saddened that we are willing to distort this. The diminished role of the father is not desirable for the child. Once you start down this route, where do you stop?’

  • But Laura Witjens, chief executive of the National Gamete Donation Trust, said: ‘These women have a right to choose this path if they want to, but clinics do have a responsibility to consider why they want do so.’

  • She said society tended to ‘freak out’ when they heard about single women going for motherhood. But she said such women tended to be much better prepared financially, socially and emotionally, to be parents than those left as single mothers through a failed relationship.

    …Imam Suhaib Hasan, head of Britain’s Islamic Sharia Council, accused IVF doctors of ‘acting like God’. He said: ‘When you remove a man from this, a woman becomes nothing but a breeding machine. Here, a woman is denying the child the right to have a father.’

    Other IVF firms helping heterosexual virgin women to conceive include The London Women’s Clinic, Create Fertility, and the Assisted Reproduction and Gynaecology Centre.

    Tracey Sainsbury, a senior fertility counsellor and research officer at The London Women’s Clinic, said she saw about two single, heterosexual virgin women a year wanting to have a baby.

  • ‘Every case is different,’ she explained. ‘Some have never had a relationship, others have been in a relationship but never had sexual intercourse, some are single lesbian women; for others there may be psychological or medical reasons why they have never had sex.

    ‘Some wish to save sexual intercourse for a special relationship. They feel they have not found the right partner to share sex with, but they know they want a baby now.

  • …Child psychotherapist Dilys Daws said the fact that virgin women were resorting to IVF ‘suggests someone who is not emotionally mature enough to be close to someone else – and that matters when it comes to bringing up a child. It implies the woman has a fear of having a close physical relationship with someone else, in which case the baby will not be brought up with that love.’

———————-

Related Posts:

(Link):  Marriage, Parenthood, Judgment by Christians and Non Christians – You Can’t Win No Matter What Choice You Make

(Link):  Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother

(Link):  How Christians Have Failed on Teaching Maturity and Morality Vis A Vis Marriage / Parenthood – Used as Markers of Maturity Or Assumed to be Sanctifiers 

(Link): Sex Regarded as Passage Into Adulthood

(Link): Family Guy airs controversial Jesus episode, ‘The 2,000-year-old virgin’ – Secular Cartoon Show Ridicules Virgin Status of Jesus of Nazareth – Contra Stereotype, Having Sex is Not Necessary to Become an Adult

(Link): Hypocrisy in Christian Culture – Those who idolize parenting chide infertiles for trying to have kids

(Link): Pope Francis To Couples: Raise Children, Not Pets

(Link): More Criticisms of the Pope’s Anti Childless Anti Childfree Comments

(Link):  Praying for a Child – The Catholic Church makes life impossible for infertile women.

(Link):   IVF success more likely for white women than those from other ethnic backgrounds

(Link):  Stop putting pressure on women to have kids before they’re 30 by A Chandler

(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

(Link): If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn’t

(Link):  The Rise of the Lone She-Wolf by Charlotte Alter

(Link): Is The Church Failing Childless Women? by Diane Paddison

(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)

(Link): Do You Rate Your Family Too High? (Christians Who Idolize the Family) (article)

(Link): The Isolating Power of Family-Centered Language (How churches exclude singles and the childless) by E A Dause

(Link): Why all the articles about being Child Free? On Being Childfree or Childless – as a Conservative / Right Wing / Christian

4 thoughts on “Advent of the Virgin Births: Women who Have Never Been in a Relationship Paying £5,000 to Get Pregnant”

  1. As someone who desperately wants children but has had motherhood denied by circumstance, I can empathize with single women undergoing IVF solo. If I had the money and could find a doctor willing to impregnate a perimenopausal 50-year-old, I would do it in a New York nanosecond. Yes, I have heard all the choruses of Why Don’t You Adopt, but that also takes money, and it doesn’t take away longings to experience pregnancy and birth. In the meantime, I refer back to the numerous Old Testament promises of fertility (which I see as indirect promises of marriage, as that is assumed to occur before conception) and wonder where the huge disconnect lies.

  2. Yep, I am Sensible, and sometimes I am only Somewhat Sensible, but never Captain Sensible…sounds like quite a character though 😉 Deep down, everyone thinks of him or herself as sensible, so why can’t I make a name out of it?

    Ah, yes…politics. Most of my friends would call my views “conservative” (that said, most of my friends are from schools I attended in the DC area…anyone with a different take on anything there is a “conservative”…that’s all I will say about that…) and I parted with GC for conservative reasons…people are stunned by that. An appreciation for individual responsibility, individual liberty, an aversion to gender quotas of all sorts, a respect for basic Christian doctrines like trinitarianism…all of these factors inform my take on gender, simple as that. I can also understand where some GCs are coming from…I am an egal raised by “traditional” parents…my dad having a “real” job, and my mom staying at home. They differ however from most GC couples in that each do the job that they want and are gifted for, not because they are interested in filling a set of gendered roles…I would never want to do what my mother does, but I get really pissed if someone does not respect her personal choice to stay at home and use her gift of hospitality as she sees fit.

    My life story, more specifically my “journey” to singleness, is different than yours, which is why I enjoy reading your take on some of my pet subjects. I am all of the following:

    –Still in my 20s (meaning I am still a target for church-sponsored matchmaking–I mean, “young career”–groups)

    –Single by choice (though it was not always that way)

    –A wannabe literature teacher (medieval and Renaissance, with a side of Dickens…medieval literature is another weird, influential pastime that helped me leave GC. I could write a book about that.)

    –Initially a member of the SDA church, then OPC (my family didn’t know any better at the time 🙂 ), and finally settled in the EPC, but I am not Reformed. Could write a book about that, too.

    –And, last but not least, I identify with the orientation no one, not even your average progressive, wants to talk about: asexuality. Why does no one want to talk about it? For the same reasons I suspect no one wants to talk about celibacy; people don’t get that you can live a good, happy, fulfilling life without sex. As you observed, no one respects virginity or celibacy; not all asexual individuals choose to remain celibate, but many do…and that is why everyone wants to pretend they do not exist. I’ll say this much, I suspect there is a reason LGBT does not include an A (and if it does, that A is never Asexual). And of course, don’t get me started on what many “conservatives” think (or rather, don’t think) about asexuality. Asexuals throw a big wrench into most metanarratives people tell about sex. And, yes, I could write yet another book about that…

    That’s my short bio…it’s really cool to see someone come up with similar positions on GC and everything singleness, yet arrive at those positions through a different set of life circumstances.

    Best to you in your writing endeavors–I am sure you will hear a lot more from me.

  3. Christianpundit, you probably have received several posts like this one already, but I cannot believe I had not found your blog sooner! This is a breath of fresh air and a fun read! I have explored several blogs run by “egalitarians,” all of whom respect singles, for the record–yet I have never found one as willing to showcase topics like celibacy, childlessness, asexuality, and the diverse categories of singleness (which GCs tend to forget about) as persistently as you have.

    In my opinion, all of these realities are the Achilles’ heel of GC, which is why I am surprised so many egalitarians neglect to keep singleness front and center in their debates. Maybe because celibacy and singleness are not “progressive” enough for some people…

    And that is what is even more remarkable…you are a writer who does not take b.s. from “conservatives” or “progressives.” Most bloggers prefer to pick and choose. I have noticed (as have you, I’m sure) some professed egalitarians look the other way when someone in their own political camp is breaking with their principles…

    Anyways, I have digressed enough. Keep up the great work! Keep venting! Your perspective is unique and needed.

    Sensible

    1. @ somewhatsensible1

      Oh hey! So good to see you here.

      There used to be a person who blogged under the screen name “Captain Sensible” at some other blogs about Christian adult singleness a few years ago… if that is you, I apologize if some of my posts here make you angry.

      I didn’t completely agree with some of the views of the “Captain Sensible” I read on other blogs…

      Capt. Sensible was, if I remember correctly, a proponent of something called “Marriage Mandating,” which pretty much faults singles for being single, and Marriage Mandaters believe that God commands all Christians to marry or something like that, so I disagree with her (him?) on that stuff, and I think I mentioned that in some very old posts on this blog.

      I believe you were posting as “Sensible” on Jory Micah’s blog a couple of days ago?

      I was at that blog a couple days ago, on one of her posts where she was replying to Wilson’s daughter. I posted there under my “christian pundit” name, I think.

      I don’t think I gave a link to my blog at Micahs’ blog. I thought about doing so, but I sometimes feel uncomfortable linking to my blog from someone else’s, because I don’t want to appear to be “pimping” my own blog.

      I’m glad you find most of the blog posts fun to read, but depending on what my mood is when I write a post, you’ll find a few in the archives where I am very angry and cussing up a storm, LOL.

      I used to be GC (gender complementarian – and am still pretty socially conservative), so I understand GCs pretty well, and why they think as they do.

      Some people find my blog or Twitter account confusing, because I am critical of both sides at times (e.g., liberal vs. conservative).

      My sympathies are mostly with the right wing. I’m still pretty right wing.

      However, I do think that some of my fellow right wingers can be unfair at times, or can act like jerks, or, I don’t fully agree with them on every topic.

      Or, I might agree with them in principle on something but not in how to deal with whatever that issue is.

      I’m glad you can see I sort of pick on and criticize both sides – a lot of people find that confusing. I don’t mean for it to be.

      Sometimes, people who are left wing who follow me on Twitter get angry with me if I post Tweets critical of left wing views. They tend to assume I am left wing until or unless I post a few Tweets that are critical of left wingers.

      Right wingers tend to assume I am left wing because I sometimes post stuff that is critical of their side. But because I sometimes support right wing stuff I agree with that criticizes left wingers, right wingers think of me as right wing (which I am).

      I was raised in a Christian family, accepted Christ as my savior as a kid, but in the last 2, 3 years I’ve been having some major doubts about the faith.

      I still believe in some of the very basics of the faith, but I’m questioning a lot of the rest.

      When that started happening, when I began having doubts about the faith, the tone of this blog became a little more cynical, and I sometimes use vulgar language in some of my posts, just to forewarn you. 🙂

      I do explain some of this on this blog’s (Link): “About Me” page.

      I explained in one or two other blogs posts why I started this blog. There aren’t many (Christian) blogs like it… which I say not in a “braggy” way, but I find it frustrating.

      Not many blogs deal with adult singleness in a realistic manner. Many blogs and articles aimed at singles (especially by Christians) are too “sugary sweet” (which I’ve written about before here, (Link) The Cloying Annoying Nauseating G-Rated Wholesome Saccharin Sweet Tone of Articles by Christians For Christian Singles)

      I’m over the age of 40. The majority of Christian blogs that do actually discuss singleness rarely to never address singles over the age of 25 or 30.

      Once I pointed that out over at “Boundless” a time or two (it’s a Christian site that does regularly discuss singleness), I noticed that they did eventually start mentioning 30 somethings in their blog posts more often the last couple of years.

      Maybe they picked up on the demographics that more and more people are staying single into their 30s and older.

      Anyway… yes, I noticed some time ago that a major problem with Gender Complementarianism (and conservative Christianity in general) is they pretty much ignore adult singleness, celibacy, asexuality, etc.

      I’ve also found that NOBODY respects adult virginity or celibacy – not right wingers, not left wingers, not complementarians, not atheists, not Christians.

      Celibacy and virginity get mocked and criticized constantly by ALL these groups, for different reasons.

      It’s hard to say which group ticks me off the most about that – maybe the progressives?

      They (the liberals / left wingers / progressives) go on and on in their blogs, Facebook groups, and forums about supporting homosexual marriage, how open minded they are about sex, and they complain about how judgmental Republicans and Christians are about fornication and sexual sin, yet…

      Those SAME folks will turn around and make fun of (or criticize) people such as myself who are sexually abstaining over the age of 25.

      They will sit there and respect ALL forms of sexual behavior and choice EXCEPT FOR celibacy / virginity. They especially love to criticize celibacy / virginity in the guise of bashing what they call “purity culture.”

      I do agree that purity culture has its issues, but IMHO, they should not necessarily lump in adults who voluntarily abstain from sex in their criticisms of that.

      I’ve noticed that Christian egalitarians will usually only discuss adult singleness and celibacy and childlessness when I bring it up on their blogs (sometimes under other screen names).

      When I point out to egalitarians that GC marginalizes any woman who does NOT fit the preferred GC demographic of Married Mother (there is no place in GC for singles, the child free, childless, divorced, celibates, widows, etc), which is a vulnerability in their gender theology, then the egalitarians get interested and blog about it.

      You said,

      In my opinion, all of these realities are the Achilles’ heel of GC, which is why I am surprised so many egalitarians neglect to keep singleness front and center in their debates. Maybe because celibacy and singleness are not “progressive” enough for some people…

      I totally agree.

      I think egalitarians need to keep singleness / celibacy covered on a more regular basis, far more than they do. They are at least more receptive to those topics than complementarians are, at least.

      A lot of the GC propaganda revolves around Marriage and Parenthood, way, way too much. Their gender theology disregards large swaths of people, something the Bible does not do.

      Gender comps rarely deal with passages such as 1 Cor. 7. The ones who do discuss it like to water it down by saying Apostle Paul was only addressing a tiny minority of believers or whatever.

      They will actually argue that God expects or demands the majority of Christians to marry – though these are “sola scriptura” Christians arguing this point, and the Bible no where says that “marriage is the norm,” or that God expects or demands all or most to marry!

      You said,

      I have noticed (as have you, I’m sure) some professed egalitarians look the other way when someone in their own political camp is breaking with their principles…

      I do see that happening at times, yes.

      In particular, Rachel Held Evans (who tends to be a little on the progressive side, and she’s an egalitarian), and one or two other high profile Christian progressives, refused to stand up publicly for the ex-wife of author, blogger, and speaker Tony Jones, Julie McMahon (not sure how to spell her name).

      Anyway, sorry to go on for so long, but it’s always nice to chat with people who really understand where I’m coming from!

      I think my blog’s posting system is set up so that after your first two or three posts are approved by me, any future posts you make automatically appear. (I’m trying to limit trolls or haters from posting on this blog.)

      It was so nice to hear from you, I hope you visit again! 🙂

Comments are closed.