Advent of the Virgin Births: Women who Have Never Been in a Relationship Paying £5,000 to Get Pregnant
This article says that this practice has critics. Oh good lord. My fellow conservatives, and a lot of Christians, whine and moan about women such as myself, who never married or who never had kids.
One staple of Christian gender complementarianism is to teach men and women (but especially women) that their “highest calling in life” is to become a parent (mother).
So, you get really marginalized in their world if you don’t have a kid – whether due to choice, infertility, or what some term situational infertility (ie, the women never met the right guy).
But here you have women who are virgins who are getting pregnant via IVF or by whatever method, and they are still getting criticized.
Like I said in an earlier post, (Link): no matter how you slice it, no matter what you do – if you have kids or don’t have kids, or if you say, have kids at age 35 or 45, or, say, only have one kid or have 15 kids, Christians and conservatives will criticize you for it.
If you use birth control, they will criticize you for that, or for what type of birth control you use.
There is no winning, no matter what life choices you make, or no matter what circumstances you find yourself in.
Conservatives and Christians practically demand that all women become mothers, but becoming a mother is not good enough – no no no. You must only become a mother in a manner in which THEY APPROVE.
Some religious guy is quoted in this article as saying IVF turns women into nothing more than breeding machines – but Islam and conservative Christianity already treat women as though they are nothing more than breeding machines. Conservative Christians certainly have no respect for virgin (childless) women who are over the age of 25 / 30.
Conservative religious types also penalize women who have a child outside of marriage – I have blogged a few times before about Jewish or Christian employers who have FIRED women from their jobs who had sex prior to marriage, who became pregnant (like (Link): this story, for example).
Religious types punish women coming and going for having kids, for not having kids, or, if they do have a kid, for WHEN they have a kid, and if they do it with a man or alone (ie, IVF).
Concerning marital status and child bearing, there is NO WINNING with these people, outside a very narrow set of parameters that are not possible for every woman to meet (i.e, getting married to a great guy by one’s mid 20s and then having a kid before the age of 30 with said husband).
Notice that someone in this article, Daws, associates having sex with being a full adult. She assumes, quite condescendingly, that virgins are incapable of knowing or having maturity or are capable of forming close bonds with another human being. Daws is incorrect. A person does not have to have sex with another person to be mature or capable of bonding. To suggest otherwise is deeply insulting.
- by Rachel Ellis
- At least 25 straight women who’ve never had sex have given birth via IVF
- Four British firms known to have helped the women with £5,000 treatment
- Doctors say women often don’t want to wait for their ideal man
- Critics have said the practice undermines process of motherhood
- Dozens of young heterosexual women have had virgin births after undergoing IVF in Britain, The Mail on Sunday can reveal.
- Some are using the £5,000 fertility treatment to bypass the need to involve a man, and others so that they can save themselves for a ‘special relationship’.
- Doctors said last night at least 25 straight women had given birth in the past five years despite being virgins. But campaigners for the traditional family said the ‘distorted’ move turned babies into little more than ‘teddy bears’ to be ‘picked off the shelf’.
- Religious groups said it undermined the importance of bringing up children in a stable marriage, while a leading psychotherapist warned that having a mother who had never been in a relationship could harm a child’s development.
- At least four major British IVF firms have helped heterosexual, virginal women conceive and become mothers, The Mail on Sunday has found.
- One is Care Fertility, which runs five centres across England. Maha Ragunath, medical director of its clinic in Nottingham, said: ‘The number of single women I see has doubled over the last decade and single women now account for at least ten per cent of my patients.
- ‘A lot of them are very young, in their 20s, sometimes studying or doing very ordinary jobs and often living with their parents, rather than career women who have been driven and focused too much on their work.
- ‘When I ask them why they are coming for treatment, very often the response is that they are ready to have a child and they don’t want to wait around for the right partner to come along.
- ‘A small percentage have never been in a relationship and never had sexual intercourse.
- …Over the past three years, Miss Ragunath has treated three such single virgin women: one a nurse, another living at home with her parents, and a third who needed multiple rounds of IVF. All became mothers.
Heterosexual virgins will have paid for their own treatment, as NHS rules state women must ‘have been trying to get pregnant through regular unprotected sexual intercourse’ for two years before applying.
But the development has angered many. Josephine Quintavalle, of the group Comment on Reproductive Ethics, said: ‘What is the child for these women? A teddy bear that they pick off the shelf?
‘The message from nature is for a male and female to have a child, and I am saddened that we are willing to distort this. The diminished role of the father is not desirable for the child. Once you start down this route, where do you stop?’
But Laura Witjens, chief executive of the National Gamete Donation Trust, said: ‘These women have a right to choose this path if they want to, but clinics do have a responsibility to consider why they want do so.’
She said society tended to ‘freak out’ when they heard about single women going for motherhood. But she said such women tended to be much better prepared financially, socially and emotionally, to be parents than those left as single mothers through a failed relationship.
…Imam Suhaib Hasan, head of Britain’s Islamic Sharia Council, accused IVF doctors of ‘acting like God’. He said: ‘When you remove a man from this, a woman becomes nothing but a breeding machine. Here, a woman is denying the child the right to have a father.’
Other IVF firms helping heterosexual virgin women to conceive include The London Women’s Clinic, Create Fertility, and the Assisted Reproduction and Gynaecology Centre.
Tracey Sainsbury, a senior fertility counsellor and research officer at The London Women’s Clinic, said she saw about two single, heterosexual virgin women a year wanting to have a baby.
‘Every case is different,’ she explained. ‘Some have never had a relationship, others have been in a relationship but never had sexual intercourse, some are single lesbian women; for others there may be psychological or medical reasons why they have never had sex.
‘Some wish to save sexual intercourse for a special relationship. They feel they have not found the right partner to share sex with, but they know they want a baby now.
- …Child psychotherapist Dilys Daws said the fact that virgin women were resorting to IVF ‘suggests someone who is not emotionally mature enough to be close to someone else – and that matters when it comes to bringing up a child. It implies the woman has a fear of having a close physical relationship with someone else, in which case the baby will not be brought up with that love.’
(Link): Family Guy airs controversial Jesus episode, ‘The 2,000-year-old virgin’ – Secular Cartoon Show Ridicules Virgin Status of Jesus of Nazareth – Contra Stereotype, Having Sex is Not Necessary to Become an Adult