Marriage Isn’t For Everyone and Singleness is Not a Consolation Prize – by P. Lechner

Marriage Isn’t For Everyone and Singleness is Not a Consolation Prize

I have mixed feelings about this page I’m linking you to here.

There are parts of it that are good, and a few that I’m not so keen on. The Bible does not teach that singleness is a gift or calling, but the author of this page views it in that way.

I do like the author’s point that Christians need to stop treating singleness as being “less than” marriage.

As to the point that if you don’t want singleness, the author assures you this means God probably did not curse you with the GOS (gift of singleness), so he will probably send you a mate – this is a false teaching. I know the author means well but this is simply not taught in the biblical text.

It’s an assumption Christians make. I’m getting into my mid-40s now, and I still don’t have a spouse, and I’ve wanted to marry since I was a kid. All the wanting, hoping, and praying for a spouse does not mean God is going to send you one!

The Bible nowhere says, “Hey, if you really want marriage, it means God will send you a spouse, he won’t permit you to be single.” I do think there are other verses that teach if you really want something, pray for it, God SAYS he will send you whatever thing it is you are praying for, but this has not been true for me in regards to marriage.

I prayed my brains out for years for a spouse yet never got one. This can happen to you, too. I prayed for bread, but God gave me a rock, contra Christ’s promise that God doesn’t give lousy presents to his children who pray for good things. It beats me why God doesn’t keep promises he made in the Bible, but there you have it.

(Link): Marriage Isn’t For Everyone and Singleness is Not a Consolation Prize by Peyton Lechner

  • …In today’s society (especially in a Christian community, at a Christian college, in a Christian girl’s dorm), people believe there’s somebody out there for everyone. When I challenged a friend about this, she went so far as to say that people who remain single simply “never found their somebody.”
  • I hope that statement bothers you as much as it bothers me. Not only is it depressing to imagine people living and dying alone simply because they never crossed paths with the person they were meant to spend their lives with, but it’s also unbiblical. Even within a Christian community, where we often feel we have to defend the institution of marriage, we need to realize that some of us aren’t going to get married.
  • The “gift of singleness” should not be treated as a consolation prize or a nice way of saying you were just unlucky and never found “the one.” The gift of singleness should be considered of equal value to the gift of marriage. And for those of you afraid of ending up alone, I’d suggest you stop worrying. God gives us gifts according to what we can handle and what will best serve us spiritually. So if the idea of being single your whole life sounds like a fate worse than death, God probably wouldn’t pick that gift for you. I can’t claim to know anything for certain, but “If your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead?” (Luke 11:1)
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