Reclaiming Stolen Friendships – a blog post criticizing the Sexist, Anti – Singles Christian Billy Graham Rule
The following blog post is so excellent, I am hard pressed just to highlight one or two paragraphs.
I would encourage you to click the link below and visit their page to read the whole essay.
I believe the blog post author also has a book for sale on this topic, and that looks like a book worth purchasing and checking out.
(Link): Reclaiming Stolen Friendships
Excerpt:
Having close friendships with members of the opposite gender is healthy, biblical and important for spiritual growth. But in the name of integrity, the church sometimes raises walls that keep us from meaningful brother-sister friendships in Christ.
These divisions are neither biblical nor in line with church history at its best.
And contrary to their promise of safety, adhering to them actually puts us at greater risk of sexual immorality, not less.
Many churches employ the terms “brother” and “sister”—but in such as way as to empty them of any real meaning. Some now teach that men and women should never be close friends, believing that mixed friendships will lead into sexual sin or “emotional” affairs.
Others may admit that men and women can share friendship—but then they burden it with a thousand qualifications.
One well known church website boasts of how none of the church staff ever “has lunch with someone of the opposite sex” or “rides alone in the car with someone of the opposite sex.” Boundaries abound.
Sadly, though these rules have become commonplace over the last 20 years, adhering to them does not appear to have made us any purer.
God designed us male and female. We need each other. Marriage and family are not the only place this need should be expressed. If that were the case, single people would be helplessly cut off from the gifts of love and fellowship.
But let’s be honest: We often don’t know what to do with the singles in our midst. In other centuries, Christian celibacy was viewed as a gift and a symbol of the coming kingdom of God. Jesus was single. Paul was both single and thankful for it. Now we pray for single people to find the magical one and only, giving them advice that is more Hollywood than Holy Word.
In response to the sexual revolution of the 1960s, various high-profile scandals, and the recent changes in marriage laws, many Christians have gotten defensive about marriage. We have now exalted marriage to such a high place (while failing to model healthy marriages) that it inevitably disappoints the majority of people who enter into it.
In addition, friendship–an institution that was once sacred to Christians–has taken a far back seat to marriage, out of fear that a friend might compete with a spouse. Friendship with the same gender is often neglected, and mixed friendships are taboo.
Related Posts:
(Link): The Islamic Billy Graham Rule – Unmarried Muslim People Are Punished For Being Alone Together
(Link): Affairs Don’t Start with Texts – via guest authors at Tim’s blog
(Link): Non-Romantic Nearness, The Billy Graham Rule, and Pope John Paul’s Friendship With a Married Woman
(Link): Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having by Mimi Haddard
(Link): Discipling Healthy Male/Female Relationships in the Church Part 1 by Wendy Alsup
(Link): Patriarchy tends to sexualize all male / female relationships (article via Junia Project blog)
(Link): Topics: Friendship is Possible / Sexualization By Culture Of All Relationships
(Link): The Sexualization of God and Jesus
(Link): Why So Much Fornication – Because Christians Have No Expectation of Sexual
(Link): Pervy Preacher from Seattle who teaches men “to objectify women, by his over emphasis of sexualization of women and subservience” (Re Driscoll) Purity
(Link): Brotherly Love: Christians and Male-Female Friendships
Christian Pundit 