Things Married People Should Not Say to Singles (via Hax)

This was published in an advice Hax column, December 2015.

Advice from a single adult to married people (this was not written by me; it was written by a guest writer at the Hax column):

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On being single in a familial sea of marrieds:

I highly recommend that those who are married consider the following do’s and don’ts before they spend time with only one single person (or very few).

●Do not monopolize the conversation with discussions of your kids.

Being interested in keeping up with nieces, nephews and other relatives doesn’t mean wanting to hear a scene-by-scene description of little Sally’s role in the kindergarten play.

Besides being mind-numbingly boring, it can be disheartening to hear someone else go on about their joy in raising a child when you may never experience it for yourself.

●Do engage single people in conversations about their own lives such as job/career, hobbies or travel.

●Do not offer unasked-for advice. No one wants to hear: “Why don’t you join a dating service?”

If they’re in their 40s and wanted to get married, they’ve probably already tried anything you could think of, and then some.

Moreover, there are plenty who’ve gotten married without taking those steps you think are so “helpful.”

●Do offer to fix them up on a blind date if you know a potential match. Just don’t press them on it if they’re not interested.

●Above all, do NOT, and I mean never, ever ask, “Why haven’t you gotten married?” or, “Why don’t you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?” These dreaded questions imply that a single person must be aberrant or have something wrong. More importantly, it’s no one’s business but their own.

[signed]

Single Sympathizer

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Related Posts:

(Link):   10 Things Never to Say to a Single Girl (article)

(Link): Christians: Please Stop Telling Singles that Their Singleness is “For God’s Glory” /  Owen Strachan’s “Being Single To Bring God Glory” Essay

(Link): Christian ‘Married People’ Privilege – Most Marrieds Remain Amazingly Blinded to Christian Discrimination Against Singles Or Write Unmarrieds’ Concerns Off, As Though They Are Nothing Compared to Marriage/ Parenting.
Marrieds and Parents also turn every thing into them, about them, about marriage and their needs/ problems

(Link): Stop Telling Your Single Friends to Try Dating Sites – Please.

(Link):   Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians | Re: Marriage Not Happening for Hetero-sexual Christians Over the Age of 30

(Link): Singleness Is Not A Gift

(Link): Five Things Single Women Hate to Hear

(Link): Article: My Savior My Spouse? – Is God or Jesus Your Husband Isaiah 54:5

(Link): Following the Usual Advice Won’t Get You Dates or Married – Even Celebrities Have A Hard Time

(Link): Fifteen Things You Shouldn’t Say or Do To Your Single Friends

(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

(Link):  New-ish Christian Cliche’ About Singlehood: “Don’t Waste Your Singleness” -or- “Make the Most of Your Singleness”

(Link): Responding to the Cliche’ ‘Jesus Is All You Need’ – Christian never married lonely single

(Link): Christian Singles Never Marrieds – it’s okay to get your needs met

(Link): Responding to the Cliche’ “Jesus Is All You Need” – Re Christian Singles

(Link): The Problem with Platitudes – for Christian single over 35 years old never married

Because most sermons about singleness are chock full of cliche’s-
(Link): Topics Preachers Should or Shouldn’t Mention When Discussing Singlehood

(Link): Same Old Tired Advice to Christian Singles

(Link): Singleness and Scripture – responding to Christian myths about singleness

(Link): Unmarried Christian Women Ain’t Got Time Fo’ Dat!

(Link): Annoyances of Being a Christian Single

(Link): Stop Telling Your Single Friends to Try Dating Sites – Please.

(Link): List of Christian Singlehood Annoyances, Part 1

(Link): List of Christian Singlehood Annoyances, Part 2

(Link): How (Married) Christians and Christian Teachings About Dating/Marriage Are Keeping Single Christians Single Part 1

(Link): On Christians Marrying Non Christians -and- Unrealistic, Too Rigid Spouse Selection Lists by Christians

(Link): Married Female Christian Blogger Whose Mate Hunting Criteria is Guaranteed to Keep Marriage Minded Single Christian Men Single Perpetually

(Link): Stereotypes Against Singles Refuted Series: Married IFB Preacher Arrested for Being Serial Rapist – this is also an example of why Christian singles can safely ignore “Be Equally Yoked”

(Link): Patriarchy Views and Even More Narrow Gender Role Views Creeping Into Already Family and Marriage Obsessed Christian Groups – Re: Mouser’s “Five Aspects” gender teachings

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