Parents Who Regret Having Children Speak Honestly About Why It Was A Huge Mistake
(Link): Parents who regret having children speak honestly about why it was a huge mistake
Jan 6, 2016
Not everyone is cut out for parenthood – mums and dads who readily admit their mistakes explain why it was a bad idea for them
Parenthood is something no man or woman should enter into lightly – and any mum or dad will tell you it’s hard work.
Indeed, once you have kids, your life is never the same again.
For some people, those changes are life-altering in a completely positive way. “I can’t remember life before the kids came along,” they will tell their friends with a smile.
But for others, welcoming new life into the world just wasn’t ever the right thing to do for them, personally.
Parents who regret having children have been (Link): sharing their thoughts on Q&A website Quora , explaining why starting a family wasn’t the best decision they’ve ever made.
….2. “There’s a huge taboo about saying you simply hate being a parent”
One dad explains that he never wanted to have children and his wife felt the same, until she was around the age of 40 and discovered an ‘unquenchable desire for motherhood.’
After several rounds of IVF and ‘huge time, financial and emotional costs’ a healthy son came along.
The man, who remains anonymous, said he was “immediately plunged into a seemingly endless spiral of resentment and depression.”
He continues: “I knew at a profound level that I Did Not Want This. It completely destroyed spontaneity and flexibility; everything needed planning, and our son like all very small children needed to be watched pretty much 24/7.”
After being told by his therapist that this was much more common than he might think, but there was simply a huge taboo around saying you hated being a parent, he decided to search online.
He continues: “Lo: it was all over the place. People overcome by tedium and regret.”
His regret about becoming a father has also put a strain on his relationship with his wife, who is upset by the way he feels.
The man adds that he is a good father, he loves his son and wants to do a good job – and for the boy to have a good life – but his own life is ‘markedly less enjoyable since he came along. That’s simple honesty.’
3. “If I had the opportunity to go back, I would take it”
Another man explains that he has never been keen on kids, enjoys his freedom and could even be described as quite selfish.
He adds: “If I am really honest with myself, I went along with having a child because my wife was ready and keen.”
The anonymous male now has a 12-month-old daughter and admits he has been forced to go on medication to cope with stress.
He continues: “Do I consider HER a “mistake” ? No I don’t, but do I consider HAVING her a mistake. It was just the next thing that happened, and while I do love her, if I had the opportunity to go back to the way things were? Sure, I would take it.
“People just don’t like to hear that kind of thing.”
4. “I wasn’t cut out to be a mother”
5. “I think about the fact I could be travelling the world”
(Link): Marriage, Parenthood, Judgment by Christians and Non Christians – You Can’t Win No Matter What Choice You Make
(Link): Evangelical Adoptions: Churches Are AWOL in Helping Parents of Special Needs Kids by Julia Duin – Churches Are Useless (and Not Just Re: Adoptive Families)
(Link): Southern Baptist Al Mohler Intimates That Childless And Childfree Adults Are Not Human (2019) – and He Thinks This is a Good and Biblical Worldview
(Link): Federalist Magazine Staff Annoyed that Other Outlets Publish the Down Side of Motherhood and Are Requesting Sunny Motherhood Propaganda Pieces – As If Conservatives Haven’t Pushed for Motherhood Enough? The Mind Boggles
(Link): Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother
(Link): Baby Making Fixation at Christianity Today Magazine Online – Shaming Women For Not Procreating, or For Delaying Motherhood, or For Limiting the Number of Children
(Link): Hypocrisy in Christian Culture – Those who idolize parenting chide infertiles for trying to have kids
(Link): Hypocrisy: Conservative Christians / Catholics Pressure Women To Feel Their Only Worth is in Becoming Mothers, But If Women Try to Use Medical Technology to Get Pregnant, the Women Are Condemned by The Same Groups
(Link): “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” – one of the most excellent Christian rebuttals I have seen against the Christian idolatry of marriage and natalism, and in support of adult singleness and celibacy – from CBE’s site
(Link): Pro-Life, Yet Anti-Celibacy, Anti-Childless Christian Site Tweets Story about Mother Who Slit New Born Infant Son’s Throat to Save Her Sex Life (Christians equating single or childless / childfree women to women who murder their babies)
(Link): Pro-Life, Christian Sites that Flirt With Denigrating Singleness and Childlessness In Their Quest to Argue Against Abortion / Re Eric Metaxas etc