Middle Aged, Single Christian Guy’s Long, Picky Girlfriend Wanted Ad on Craig’s List
(June 2016 update below)
I first saw this on SCCL’s page (you should visit the page where they are talking about it (Link): here).
I tweeted SCCL’s moderator under her Tweet about this and told her as a lady who has long wanted to be married, seeing ads like this creep me out or weird me out, and I think I’d rather just stay single.
This guy says he is a Christian, does not like Christian hypocrites, but if I am understanding his ad right, he is willing or wanting to have sex with his live-in girlfriend, should he get one via this ad.
He doesn’t seem to realize that sex outside of marriage is a biblical no-no, so he’s one of those Christian hypocrites he doesn’t approve of. On the other hand, he gets into this thing about how he’s not very religious.
Excerpts (I am not pasting his entire ad here, it’s quite long):
- [WHAT I WANT]: I’m seeking a non-smoking female, size 14 or smaller [aka “under” size 16 unless you are tall and carry it well] “probably” under age 58, no taller than 5’10 [because I’m 5’10], who is drug, disease and drama free [Like I am], to share my nice 1967 brick ranch home with as my live-in girlfriend/lover and possibly be my wife later in 2016 if you want [not required]. To be clear, I am NOT looking for “just” a roommate.
- I’m looking for a Girlfriend/Lover/Wife/Life companion to do the following with: cuddle while watching movies, shop for groceries, cook, eat, trade massages/kisses, etc.
- You must NOT be an alcoholic, must NOT have unresolved felonies and NOT have a warrant out for your arrest.
- Other than that we can talk about your past issues BUT, you must be honest from day one! I’m a former Private Investigator so I “will” check you out.
- “Females” of any race will be considered but you must speak decent-to-good English. If your English is bad, we won’t work out. I’m NOT concerned about what kind of job you have [if any] at the time we meet [retired, self-employed, Sonic, T.J Maxx, unemployed, Walmart, or whatever].
- You may even be on SSD or waiting on a Social Security Disability claim because of Anxiety, Depression, Fibromyalgia, OCD or whatever.
- I’m sorry but we all know what we want and I’m just stating my wants up front. Many guys have just as many preferences as me but they usually do not put them all in their ad.
- [MAJOR BONUSES]: You’ll have the whole front bathroom to yourself. I’ll be in charge of all the laundry plus I will cook and/or prepare our food sometimes, or all the time if you can’t or don’t want to! You will not have to pay for rent, power, cable TV [I have all 8 HBO channels], WIFI internet, natural gas, garbage service or water. I have a Sam’s Club Membership too.
- If you do not have a car, we can get you one as I have 2 friends that own used car lots and a few others that work for new dealers that get trade-ins. …
- [ABOUT ME]: I’m a 52 year old East Marietta, GA [Cobb County] homeowner. I listed myself as age 49 to get views from ladies that type in 49 or 50 as their max, because I look younger than my age plus more views increases my chances. I’m a straight Single White Male, 5’10” tall, with no kids or pets. …
- …[SEX]: I’m NOT into cyber sex, phone sex or sexting to name just a few. I’m straight, not bisexual.
- I like cuddling, kissing and massages as foreplay.
- If you’re celibate then we are not a match. Ask me anything else you want to know and feel free to tell me your likes and dislikes. I use condoms even for oral, to avoid STDs. When I trust you and we decide to date exclusively I expect you to go get tested with me at my expense.
- [RELIGION]: I’m a Christian, attended services regularly thru about age 18 and was baptized in May of 1974 [age 11]. I do pray every so often but do NOT know the Bible well and have NOT attended any services in several years.
- I believe in the 10 Commandments and doing the right thing.
- Many hypocrites are in the pews every Sunday and a person does not have to attend services to get to Heaven in my opinion. So, if you are very religious then we “might” not be a match.
- …Dr. Phil says “Every relationship is a negotiation” and “Basically everything is negotiable”.
- So, let’s negotiate! Email me now :-)This ad is updated regularly with new info and/or pictures.
Last updated: Tuesday 01-12-15.
The comments I related to or liked in the SCCL conversation about this guy’s ad:
Mikail Guregori Miller said:
- This actually made me kinda depressed…
Erin McEwen said:
- My friend says
- “This is real life, not build-a-bear workshop.”
June 2016 Update.————-
I think this may be the same guy (he says he’s a Christian):
- The key to a woman’s heart is through premium cable, at least according to one Georgia man who’s trying to lure the gal of his dreams with the prospect of HBO — and some TLC too.
- “You’ll not have to pay for rent, wifi, power, cable TV [I have all 8 HBO channels] garbage service or food!” proclaims the 53-year-old Marietta man (Link): in a Craigslist post.
- “If you do not have a vehicle we can find you a good used one. If your credit is bad I can teach you how to rebuild it. If you have no credit score we can build it pretty quick… I have a pair of 2016 Atlanta Falcons season tickets. I also have 2017 season tix for both the Falcons AND Braves at their new stadiums! Did I mention I have all 8 HBO channels yet?!”
- And he also dangles this irresistible carrot: “You’ll have the whole front bathroom to yourself.”
- He insists he’s not looking for a cook or a maid — and certainly (Link): not just a roommate in his 1967 brick ranch home.
- “I’m looking for a Girlfriend/Lifetime companion to do the following with: cuddle while watching movies, shop for groceries, cook, eat, trade massages, kiss, go to concerts, go walking, etc.”
- Other requirements:
- In good shape, but doesn’t need to be skinny, “probably size 14 or smaller.”
- High on life and nothing else, he said: “You must not be an alcoholic, not into illegal drugs, not smoke, not have unresolved felonies and not have a warrant out for your arrest.”
- “Females of any race will be considered but you must speak decent English.”
- Leave kids and drama behind, the modern-day Romeo said: “You should be drug, disease and drama free [as I am] and have no kids that must come with you [I have none].”
- The Craigslist poster said he has a background in private investigation and will thoroughly vet all candidates.
- He described himself as a moderate conservative — a Christian, but not a regular service attendee; “pro-gun,” but not an NRA member; pro-life but believes “abortion should be legal in cases of rape, incest and the mother’s health issues.”
(Link): Male Entitlement In Dating and In Marriage – Single Christian Men Who Feel Entitled – Part 1
(I’ve been meaning to write a Part 2 to this for the longest time)