60 Year Old Lady Contracted Herpes from Cheating Husband
Another example of how it can pay off to be single and celibate. Letter to advice columnist Ask Amy.
- Dear Amy:
- I am a 60-year-old divorced woman. My cheating ex-husband gave me herpes. Because of this I have been reluctant to date.
- I have visited a website for people with similar conditions but didn’t find it acceptable. My question is, at what point in a relationship do you tell a potential partner that you have a sexually transmitted disease?
- Full of Fear and Loathing
- Dear Full of Fear and Loathing:
- I hope you will find a way to shed the stigma of having this STD, which is quite common (estimates are that 1 in 6 adults have genital herpes, though many don’t know it). You have done nothing wrong.
- The time to disclose this is before you have sex (obviously). If you are dating someone and feel the relationship is headed toward sex, or if you want it to head in that direction, then you should disclose this condition in a plain and straightforward way, making eye contact and with your head held high (practice this, if necessary). If a potential partner can’t cope with the idea of wearing a condom, then he is not the right guy for you.
- Many people in your demographic are contracting (and spreading) STDs, and there is some likelihood that any potential partner also has an STD. Always use a condom.
- Don’t let this make you avoid getting to know new people. This situation may lead you to take your time when dating before becoming sexual with someone. Delaying sex in a relationship can help to build intimacy, which is very sexy. Check DatingWithHerpes.org for information and support.