Eight Pieces of Christian Dating Advice that is Keeping Me Single. by Nina Borum – from Stuff Christians Like.net

Eight Pieces of Christian Dating Advice that is Keeping Me Single. – from Stuff Christians Like.net

(Link):  Eight 8 pieces of Christian dating advice that is keeping me single. by Nina Borum

Excerpts:

  • ….but I have taken all the advice below and find that I am still single.
  • 4. God’s timing is perfect.
  • Is it? According to abcnews.com women lose 90% of their eggs by age 30.
    Chop Chop Jesus. Chop Chop.

  • 5. Focus on your marriage to Jesus. He is your true husband.
  • Right. But there are some things that Jesus doesn’t do like take out the trash, rub my feet and you know the whole sex thing. Is it wrong that I am disappointed that there is apparently no sex in heaven? I digress.
  • 8. Singleness/Celibacy is a gift from God.
  • Does this gift have a return policy? It doesn’t fit me very well and I don’t recall putting it on my Christmas list.

A few of the comments at the bottom of that page (there, were, unfortunately, a lot of trolls and idiots on their page in the comments, but these comments were okay)

ROSE SAYS / SEPTEMBER 20, 2014 AT 8:53 AM

  • I became single again when my husband died. The grass had not yet sprouted on his grave when questioning commenced regarding my relationship status.
  • It caught me off guard, I was confused and did not know how to respond.
  • I felt like I was under attack. I was in uncharted waters and realized I had better have some responses at the ready to defend myself.
  • An unusual position to be in, defending my own self, defending my personhood. My eyes are now open to singles and their struggles, because I am now one of them. How would I respond to well meaning but clueless advisors?
  • First of all, the advisors need some serious help, so I propose a new Helpful Advice for Singles list.
  • At the top of the list: Do not ask: “Are you seeing anyone?” instead ask “How would you like to come over on Friday night? John is inviting a couple of single friends from his work, we are going to get some takeout food, put the kids to bed and then hang out and watch a movie?”
  • The method of communicating this list to our advisors is another dilemma. Often I am caught off guard by the abrupt nature of these encounters.
  • Like basketball, we need a good defense but we need to score some points too! I thought about having a stack of printed Helpful Advice To Singles in my purse to hand out but this seems a bit awkward and over the top. And I was never good at handing out tracts.

post by STEPHANIE C. SAYS OCTOBER 14, 2014 AT 2:32 PM

  • I am a 50 year old never married christian VIRGIN. I am attactive-have 30 years with a major corporation and am having a hard time finding a mate.
  • I dated a guy at church for two months and broke up because he was being verbally abusive.
  • I read it is good to do charity work and websites such as meetup.com to meet the opposite sex and I am going to try those. I was in a paid christian dating site for four years and only ran into scam artists.

DAN FROM GEORGIA SAYS / FEBRUARY 2, 2014 AT 12:54 AM

  • Absolute. Worst. Advice. I. Was. Ever. Given:
  • “Just wait. Wait on God. Wait. Wait.”
  • Funny. just about everybody around me was getting married in the 20s and I was told to wait. Wait. Wait on God. Just wait. Wait. Wait.

Mike Dean Says

  • Thanks much for the post!! I enjoyed reading the list and laughed quite a bit
    Being 53 when I married, I can relate to most of the items, especially the one relating to being content (as in, “If I’m content being single, why would I want to be married?”)
    I do observe, in my single years, that “becoming the right person doesn’t happen while being alone”

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Related Posts, this blog:

(Link): Five Unhelpful Things Singles Are Tired Of Hearing by R. Duncan / Eight Things You Should Never Say To Your Single Friends by K. Wilkinson

(Link): Following the Usual Advice Won’t Get You Dates or Married – Even Celebrities Have A Hard Time

(Link): Singleness Is Not A Gift

(Link): Article: My Savior My Spouse? – Is God or Jesus Your Husband Isaiah 54:5

(Link): Consider The Source: Christians Who Give Singles Dating Advice Also Regularly Coach Wives to Stay in Abusive Marriages

(Link):  Article: 30 And Single? It’s Your Own Fault by  C. Courtney

(Link):  Christians Advise Singles To Follow Certain Dating Advice But Then Shame, Criticize, or Punish Singles When That Advice Does Not Work

(Link):  Neither Fully Widow Nor Fully Wife – Married People Will Be Single Again

(Link): Married People Who Find Themselves Single Again – Spouses With Dementia / Married People Who Are Lonely

(Link): Grieving widow doesn’t need to start dating in order to heal (letter from advice column)

(Link): Widower to Advice Columnist Talks about Being Stereotyped by Married Couples or Ignored by Other Marrieds Since His Wife has Died

(Link):  Gender Complementarian Owen Strachan’s “Being Single To Bring God Glory” Essay

(Link):  It’s Not Your Imagination, Single Women: There Literally Aren’t Enough Men Out There – Re: Man Shortage – Follow Up Interview 

(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)

(Link): Consider The Source: Christians Who Give Singles Dating Advice Also Regularly Coach Wives to Stay in Abusive Marriages

(Link):  Pew for One: How Is the Church Responding to Growing Number of Singles?

(Link):  Lonely Sunday: Single Christians and the Church’s Opportunity by K. BeckerLonely Sunday: Single Christians and the Church’s Opportunity by K. Becker

(Link): Single Adult Christian Pressured Into Marriage by Her Church – And Regrets It

(Link): Married Female Christian Blogger Whose Mate Hunting Criteria is Guaranteed to Keep Marriage Minded Single Christian Men Single Perpetually

Link): Christian Host Pat Robertson Tells Christian Woman Who Married Christian Man Who Turned Out to Be Totally Unethical That She has Discernment of a Slug – Single Women: toss Be Equally Yoked teaching in the trash can

(Link): Stereotypes Against Singles Refuted Series: Married IFB Preacher Arrested for Being Serial Rapist – this is also an example of why Christian singles can safely ignore “Be Equally Yoked”

(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

(Link):  New-ish Christian Cliche’ About Singlehood: “Don’t Waste Your Singleness” -or- “Make the Most of Your Singleness”

(Link): Responding to the Cliche’ ‘Jesus Is All You Need’ – Christian never married lonely single

(Link): Christian Singles Never Marrieds – it’s okay to get your needs met

(Link): Responding to the Cliche’ “Jesus Is All You Need” – Re Christian Singles

(Link): The Problem with Platitudes – for Christian single over 35 years old never married

(Link): The Myth of the Gift – Regarding Christian Teachings on Gift of Singleness and Gift of Celibacy

(Link): The Gift of Singleness – A Mistranslation and a Poorly Used Cliche’

(Link): There is No Such Thing as a Gift of Singleness or Gift of Celibacy or A Calling To Either One

(Link): Gift of Singleness Gift of Celibacy Unbiblical – Those Terms and Teachings Contribute to Fornication / Editorial About Sex Surrogates

(Link): New-ish Christian Cliche’ About Singlehood: Don’t Waste Your Singleness -or- Make the Most of Your Singleness

(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy” or (also false): God’s gifting of singleness is rare – More Accurate: God calls only a few to marriage and God gifts only the rare with the gift of Marriage

(Link): Things Married People Should Not Say to Singles (via Hax)

(Link): Topics Preachers Should or Shouldn’t Mention When Discussing Singlehood

(Link): Same Old Tired Advice to Christian Singles

(Link): Singleness and Scripture – responding to Christian myths about singleness

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