Here Are 5 Stupid, Unfair and Sexist Things Expected of Men
I’m only copying one point off the page.
What this excerpt discusses from a secular view is similar to what occurs in Christianity: many Christians also believe that all men are randy horn dogs who want sex 24/7, but, they also believe and teach that women (especially married ones) hate sex and have to be convinced or shamed into having more sex.
I’ve posted links to news stories and studies before that mention that women want sex just as much as men. One headline I have on my blog that I saw in the news was something like, “Women’s sex appetite rivals men’s, when they think nobody is judging.”
See, in American society, if a woman is sexual or admits to wanting or liking sex, she will often be thought of as a slut. This happens both within and out the church – secular culture is kind of like this, too. Though it seems secular culture is a little more open to the idea of women wanting sex or having sex than Christian culture is.
Anyway, the cultural mores are such that even if a woman really enjoys sex, wants sex, she will be hesitant to act like it or admit it for fear of getting the “slut” label by other people or by her church. I don’t think that’s something that people often consider, especially not conservative Christians.
- … But we don’t talk as much about how sexism hurts men. Understandably. When you look at the grotesque ways women are damaged by sexism—from economic inequality to political disenfranchisement to literal, physical abuse—it makes perfect sense that we’d care more about how sexism, patriarchy and rigid gender roles affect women than we do about how they affect men.
- But men undoubtedly get screwed up by this stuff, too. Not screwed up as badly as women, to be sure… but not trivially, either.
- [Sexist Things Expected of Men]
- 3. Be hot to trot. Always. With anybody.
- This is another expectation that came up with striking (although hardly surprising) frequency.
- Men are supposed to want sex — and be ready for sex — all the time.
- With pretty much anyone of the right gender who makes themselves available for it.
- In his evaluation of male gender roles, Michael T. says, “To be a man you must use sexual conquest as a gauge for manhood.”
- Jraoul quoted a song, Lou Christie’s “Lightning Strikes,” with lyrics that go, “When I see her lips begging to be kissed, I can’t stop, I can’t stop myself… When I see a sign that she wants to make time, I can’t stop, I can’t stop myself….”
- And in his litany of male gender expectations, my friend Michael listed, “Have sex with any woman who says yes, or who offers herself. If not, I must be gay, right?”
It’s weird. An intense, even predatory sexual desire is a big part of the Manly Man picture. And yet that picture doesn’t allow for men to have preferences.
- Or rather: They’re allowed and even expected to have preferences — as long as those preferences conform with social norms.
- I vividly remember an article from a late ’60s Playboy, analyzing men’s personalities based on what kind of female bodies they liked: liking big breasts made you cool, while liking big butts or legs meant you were immature. And that’s hardly a relic of the ’60s: even today, lots of men feel pressured to date women who meet the current standards of female attractiveness.
- Lots of men, for instance, feel pressured to date fashionably thin women: even if they personally prefer women with more meat on their bones, they feel embarrassed introducing them to their buddies.
- Like dating a fat chick is a slam on their ego. Like it means they’re not high enough on the primate status ladder to acquire a high-status mate.
- So yes, men are allowed to be hotter for some girls than others. But they’re still supposed to get it on with anything that moves and spreads its legs.
- Anything female and not grotesque, anyway. Men are expected to have sexual desire… but that desire can’t be their own. It can’t be idiosyncratic. Or even all that personal. It can’t belong to them.
- And for the sweet love of Loki and all the gods in Valhalla, it can’t be based on emotion.
- … And many men pointed out that, while they’re certainly getting a super-sized serving of narrow, stupid cultural messages about How To Be A Man, they’re also getting a decent helping of smarter, broader messages about Not Listening To That Stupid Shit.