Church Knew of Preacher’s Affairs, Advised Him To Keep It Quiet

Church Knew of Preacher’s Affairs, Advised Him To Keep It Quiet

This is a follow up to my previous post (there are further updates at the bottom of this post):

The pastor I reference in my headline of this blog post is Tullian Tchividjian.

I know I probably should not be surprised at this point, but I still find myself surprised or dumbfounded at how so many Christians or churches today do not take sexual sins seriously.

I already know that most churches prefer to hear sexual purity sermons (Link): from fornicators than they do from actual, honest- to- God adult virgins.

But I thought, maybe, just maybe, some churches out there at least have the sense to sermonize against adultery and other sorts of sexual sins, or hold sexual sinners  ~ especially pastors who commit adultery or some other sort of sexual sin – accountable.

But no. They don’t.

This article says that this church knew about their preacher’s adultery (even the previous one), and asked him to keep it hush-hush.


What is that verse from the Bible, again?: “God is shamed and judged negatively among the Gentiles because of your behavior.” -or something like that.

Okay, take that verse and reword it slightly to, “God is shamed and judged harshly among the Non-Christians because of your behavior,” and I think that would apply.

Do these churches and people claiming the name of Jesus Christ not care at all about what Jesus taught?

Do churches today and Christians not care about Christian ethics and morality, about doing the right thing, even if doing so may be unpopular?

How can anyone who claims to be a Jesus-follower be so causal about following His teachings?

Note that this other woman he had an affair with is MARRIED.

That’s right, Christians like to depict SINGLE women as the threats to married men, when here we have married people cheating on their spouses with OTHER MARRIED PEOPLE.

(Link): Coral Ridge Elders Knew of Tullian Tchividjian’s Affair With Married Woman, Advised Him to Keep Secret, Source Alleges 

  • March 18, 2016|4:07 pm
  • At least two elders at Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Florida allegedly had knowledge that their former pastor, Tullian Tchividjian, grandson to evangelical icon Billy Graham, had engaged in an adulterous affair with a married member of his flock and advised him to keep it secret from his wife.

    Reacting to a (Link): report in The Christian Post Thursday that Tchividjian was fired by Willow Creek Church in Winter Springs, Florida, after they were blindsided by his latest confession, a highly placed source informed CP Friday that the recent disclosure is really the result of a “systemic cover up” by church leaders that began two years ago.

    “Tullian had actually been confronted about that two years ago. At the time, he was confronted by two elders at Coral Ridge and Steve Brown (Key Life Ministries), and confessed to having a relationship with a married woman,” said the source.

    “At the time, he was not advised to step down as lead pastor, but instead was advised not to immediately inform his wife about the matter — she only learned about this last week. To make matters worse, the two elders never informed the rest of the session about this situation. One can only wonder whether the second situation could have been averted if the first situation had not been covered up,” the source continued.

    “This is not a situation that Tullian had kept quiet and suddenly disclosed to someone for the first time last week. It’s been known by at least three others in addition to Tullian and the woman involved for over two years,” the source added.

    Tchividjian landed a job at Willow Creek Church last September, some two months after he resigned from Coral Ridge due to another confessed extramarital affair he said was triggered by the infidelity of his now ex-wife, Kim.

    …His latest revelation, however, significantly disrupts that [previous] narrative and created a lot of problems for those who have been trying to help him but were kept in the dark.

    …All the new details, said Labby on Friday, was news to him even though Pastor Steve Brown of Key Life Ministries, who is alleged to have known about the affair, is a regular attendee of his church and a person with whom he also has frequent conversations.

    …When asked why he felt Brown [Pastor Steve Brown of Key Life Ministries] wouldn’t have informed him of Tchividjian’s earlier indiscretions, Labby said he couldn’t say.

    …Labby noted that prior to Tchividjian joining the staff at his church last year, he vetted him through the South Florida Presbytery and did not speak directly to anyone at Coral Ridge.

    …Matthew Dubocq, chairman of the minister and church relations committee of the South Florida Presbytery, said it was his committee that made the recommendation to the presbytery to strip Tchividjian of his credentials last year and said there was no mention of the affair with the married woman.

    “I have no knowledge of that because that would be at the local church level. We knew of the one affair that came out in The Washington Post and we, as the presbytery, acted on that one. I don’t know anything about anything else,” he said Friday.

    ..”I think its news to everyone. When we took away Tullian’s credentials as a presbytery we didn’t know about any second affair or anything,” he [Matthew Dubocq] added.

    …Bill Mitchell, a pastor a Boca Raton Community Church, allegedly may have had knowledge of Tchividjian’s past but he did not respond to a request for comment Friday.

    Dubocq said Tchividjian’s deposition did not involve any investigation beyond what the former pastor told them.

    “He came as his own accuser and he confessed to adultery and we acted upon that statement of fact that he gave to us,” said Dubocq. There was no questioning of the confession “because we only dealt with that one issue.”

(( read the rest here ))

I take this whole story as another blow against the “be equally yoked” teaching – not only are self professing Christian married men (and some single ones) not keeping their pants zipped up (they are cheating on their wives left and right), but now we have entire churches covering up for these men’s sexual sins.

Honestly, if you are a single Christian woman who desires marriage, throw “equally yoked” into the trash can – you might be more apt to find an upstanding, decent Non-Christian man to marry than a Christian one or one at a church.

Another reminder: you do not have to obtain perfection before God will send you a spouse.

Christians will often say if you find yourself single past the age of 30 or 35, it must be because God is trying to clean you up to make you worthy of a spouse.

I am sorry, but no: this Tullian pastor was married and had what, two affairs? He obviously is not godly or perfect enough to “deserve” a spouse, so Christians of the world, stop telling singles like me that we must be lacking and cannot “earn” a spouse until we change X, Y, or Z and become godly or perfect.

With (Link): all these examples on my blog of married Christian men who murder their wives, fondle children, kill their wives, or commit adultery, it is very obvious that anyone can marry. You don’t have to achieve some wonderous state of maturity, godliness, or perfection to be able to deserve a spouse.

Also: contra Christian propaganda: marriage does not guarantee lack of straying. Plenty of married people still look at porn or have affairs.

Being a part of a nuclear family (Tullian was married with children) did not save him or make him a better person. So, Christians: stop hyping the Nuclear Family as society’s savior and ultimate solution.


Some spokes-head for the church is now claiming, per a blog post I read, that they never told Tchividjian to cover up his affair. You can read  more about that here:

(Link): Hunter Frederick Issues Final Statement on Behalf of Tullian Tchividjian

(Link): Coral Ridge Removed Elder and Apologized on Sunday for Handling of Tullian Tchividjian Affair, Sources Say

(Link, off site): Tullian Tchividjian, Bob Coy, Church Leaders Response, Clergy Sex Abuse, Sexual Infidelity, Spiritual Abuse, Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church, Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale

  • This weekend, Tullian Tchividjian’s past two churches confirmed rumors that the Florida pastor had a second and earlier affair prior to the one that prompted his resignation last summer.
  • But the pastor who gave him a second chance at ministry says he’d still do it again.


Related Posts (on this blog):

(Link): Christian Preacher Admits He Won’t Preach About Sexuality / Sexual Sin For Fear It May Offend Sexual Sinners 

(Link): Churches Would Rather Hear From Ex Porn Stars Than Adult Celibates or Virgins – Church Invites Ex Porn Star to be Guest Speaker

(Link):  Christians Want to Hold Adulterers Accountable but Give Adult Single Fornicators a Pass (Tim Challies Blog) 

(Link): Tullian Tchividjian Resigns after Admitting ‘Inappropriate Relationship’

(Link): How Christians Have Failed on Teaching Maturity and Morality Vis A Vis Marriage / Parenthood – Used as Markers of Maturity Or Assumed to be Sanctifiers – Also: More Hypocrisy – Christians Teach You Need A Spouse to Be Purified, But Also Teach God Won’t Send You a Spouse Until You Become Purified

(Link): Think The “Billy Graham Rule” Would Have Saved Tullian? Think Again… (Billy Graham rule has all Christians treating single adult women as though they are harlots who cannot be trusted)

(Link): Christian Ladies: Be Equally Yoked to Christian Men Who Like To Have Sex With Dogs! (Re: Jerald Hill news story)

(Link): Forget About Being Equally Yoked: “My Abusive Christian Marriage”

(Link): Resident Christian Marriage Advice Writer at Christian Mag Admits Some Christian Marriages are Sexless

(Link): More Married Couples Admit to Sexless Marriages (various articles) / Christians promise you great frequent sex if you wait until marriage, but the propaganda is not true

(Link):  Perverted Christian Married Couple Wants to “Wife Swap” (For Sex) With Other Christian Couple – Why Christians Need to Uphold Chastity / Celibacy For All People Even Married Couples Not Just Teens

(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Lifelong Celibacy as an Option for All Instead of Merely Pressuring All to Marry – vis a vis Sexless Marriages, Counselors Who Tell Marrieds that Having Affairs Can Help their Marriages

(Link): AARP post: How to Handle a Sexless Married Life – But Christians Promise You Great Hot Regular Married Sex

(Link):  Christians Overly Fond of the BGR / How I Learned to Stop Worrying About the Billy Graham Rule and Love Like Jesus by T. Grigg

(Link):  Non-Romantic Nearness, The Billy Graham Rule, and Pope John Paul’s Friendship With a Married Woman

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