Complementarian Churches and the Single Adult Woman by J. Dyer
This is a page by a woman in her mid 30s who thought she would have been married by now but still finds herself single. She describes how the gender complementarian churches she has attended don’t minister to adult single women properly.
She also notes in this page how following all the usual Christian dating advice has not worked – she’s tried it all and is still single; this is a phenomenon I’ve blogged about before.
(Link): Complementarian Churches and the Single Adult Woman by J. Dyer
- …But it [meeting a spouse at church] didn’t [happen]. Well-meaning friends told me all manner of things about how God must be teaching me something (it appears I’m a slow learner). Or–my favorite–if I could just delight in the Lord, when I least expected it, God would bring “the man” into my life.
- Churches often try to tell women how to be women without considering the whole range of God-inspired possibilities. There will always be outliers to the model they create.
…So the church, in demanding conformity to these [gender] stereotypes, silences our voices. We are pushed to the edges because we do not marry or, if we do marry, because our marriages don’t look like our church’s narrow ideal. Maybe the wife is more of a leader in the relationship. Maybe the husband stays at home with the kids. Maybe the couple chooses not to have kids.
- …It is very possible that I will never marry. A story today on NPR’s Fresh Air stated that there are now more never-married women than married women in the US. I may never leave those ranks.
(Link): Singleness, Marriage & Story by James Prescott
(Link): What Two Religions Tell Us About the Modern Dating Crisis (from TIME) (ie, Why Are Conservative Religious Women Not Marrying Even Though They Want to Be Married. Hint: It’s a Demographics Issue)
(Link): Desire for Marriage is Idolatry?
(Link): Christian Mingle Movie – Woman Fakes Faith To Get Spouse – Another Depressing Christian Message that Shames Single Women Who Want Marriage, Tells Single Women They Should Only Find All Contentment in Jesus, Jesus is Their Boyfriend