Single, Adult Woman Lies on Church Employment Form About Pre-Marital Sex and Sexual Orientation, Says Friend – Letter to Ask Amy Advice Column
I’ll paste in the letter below, and probably Amy’s response. I think Amy dropped the ball on her reply, for the most part.
I’m using this letter not so much as it pertains to homosexuality, but the phenomenon of singles (or anyone, I guess) lying about their sexual habits or pasts, especially in a church context.
When I was growing up, my parents encouraged me to seek a marital partner at church. The thought being that I could meet a decent, kind, stable man at a church and marry the guy.
The problem is (as I’ve detailed on this blog time and again) is that churches attract all sorts of weirdos, perverts, and losers (and liars).
If you are a single Christian woman who insists on meeting a single man at a church, you better be well aware that just because a guy is attending church, works at said church, or says he loves Jesus and is a Christian, does not mean he is a nice guy or is honest. He might be a child rapist, a woman abuser, or have a raging pornography addiction.
The letter below is about a lesbian woman who misrepresented herself (her sexual nature / sexual history) to a church to get hired, contra to Ask Amy’s spin on it (you can read a copy of this letter here):
- Dear Amy:
- I have a huge dilemma. “Jane” and I have been good friends since middle school. I love her like a sister.
- Recently, Jane accepted a job at a church as the youth director in the town where we attend college. She is good with youth and is very outgoing.
- However, Jane was not fully truthful when applying for this job.
- The church asked all applicants to affirm its faith statement and a code of behavior that prohibits premarital sex. Jane signed the code of behavior, indicating that she would not have premarital sex.
- To further confuse the issue, she told them that she did not have a boyfriend. In truth, Jane does have sex. However, she is a (quiet) lesbian.
- In a technical sense, she says that she did not lie because she does not have intercourse. Since the church did not ask her if she was gay, she said that she did not deceive them.
- I feel like this is a problem and that a church employee who is teaching the youth how to be good Christians should be fully honest — even if it means that she would not get the job.
- Does the church have a right to know the truth? Do I have an obligation to say something? Does it even matter if it does not affect how she does her job? Since Jane won’t listen to me regarding this, I thought about sending the pastor an anonymous letter. What do you think?
- Bewildered
- Bewildered:
- “Jane” seems to have shared details with you concerning how she filled out her job application. If you disagree with her choice, you are obligated to try to persuade her to make a different choice. You are not ethically or morally compelled to do anything else.
- You say that according to the application, Jane agreed not to have premarital sex. She doesn’t seem to have been asked whether she has ever had premarital sex; she has agreed not to have premarital sex while she is employed by the church. So — perhaps you should assume Jane will adhere to this chastity pledge.
- You say that according to the application, Jane agreed not to have premarital sex.
- She doesn’t seem to have been asked whether she has ever had premarital sex; she has agreed not to have premarital sex while she is employed by the church. So — perhaps you should assume Jane will adhere to this chastity pledge.
- Jane was also asked if she has a boyfriend and she has answered truthfully. Nothing you detail about Jane’s behavior indicates that she is not a good Christian or a good youth leader. Not all Christian churches discriminate against homosexuals (the church I belong to does not discriminate).
- This episode offers a golden opportunity for you to examine your own morals — not Jane’s.
Why is Amy such a celibate-ophobe? Why is she such a Christian-values-ophobe?
She does realize that this church is expecting HETERO applicants to be celibate and not participate in pre-marital sex, right, not just homosexual ones?
The lesbian lady misled and deceived the church.
I can guarantee you that since this lesbian lady is willing to “split hairs” to get this job, she will probably keep having sex with other women while employed there and will not be chaste.
And she will justify her behavior by saying to her friend, “but lesbian sex is not what this church was after on the form: they are telling hetero women not to have sex with men, so I’m not “really” fornicating when I have sex with women, by their standards, so see, I’m not TECHNICALLY violating the employee form.”
-This is exactly how this woman will parse and excuse her actions, should she have sex with women while working at this church. And Ask Amy is defending this sort of fudging and sin of omission.
Amy needs to examine her own morals – not the letter writer’s.
Because Amy is really out of loop with what the Bible says about fornication, whether by heteros or homosexuals (hint: it’s not supportive of it).
Anyway, a warning to adult singles of the world expecting to find a godly, single partner at a church: be aware that some of them lie or misrepresent their sexual pasts or sexual orientation to people of the church.
————————-
Related Posts:
(Link): They’re Gay, They’re Christian And They’re Celibate! (by S. Bailey)
(Link): Single, pregnant mother fired from church for not being married
(Link): Women in Sao Paulo Must Provide Proof of Virginity to Be Hired as Teachers
(Link): Why So Much Fornication – Because Christians Have No Expectation of Sexual Purity
(Link): Sex, Love & Celibacy by Christian Author Dan Navin
(Link): “Even more bizarrely, Christianity held up lifelong celibacy as an even more exalted state of life”
Christian Pundit 