Online Dating Fatigue is a Real Thing and It’s Happening to Everyone by Madison Vanderberg
… These women were deleting their dating apps because they were tired.
They had reached online dating fatigue.
Curious to find out if anyone else had hit a wall in their online search for love, I polled a selection of singles who were actively dating and learned that all of them had deleted their dating apps recently, and most commonly, have deleted and reactivated their apps over and over again. The reason for deleting their dating apps all seemed to boil down to either time consuming, frustrating, or boring.
…“Honestly, I get really fed up with all the same bullshit and aggressively persistent men. I’m not obligated to talk to someone.” – Olivia, late-twenties.
“The constant swiping and messaging and checking my app was becoming a chore. A boring chore that took out all the supposed ‘fun’ in dating. And when I did go on a date, they were so underwhelming, it just felt like, What’s the point of this?” – Jess, late-twenties*
…According to a 2016 study by the (Link): Pew Research Center, 1/3 of singles on a dating app have not actually gone on any dates from the app. And among Americans who were married or in a committed relationship in the last five years, 88% of them met their partner offline.
A different 2013 study by (Link): Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences claims that 35% of marriages start online. Of course there is some discrepancy amongst these two studies, but the point being, online dating isn’t this match-making godsend we assume it to be.
…You’re tired of the grind of swiping, but you could also very well be tired of the endless stream of rejection
…Online dating is perceived as being efficient, easy, and fun. Key word, perceived, because online dating is actually hurting our offline dating lives.
…“Part of the problem [with online dating] is that there is an endless parade of people popping up on the dating site and app screens, giving the illusion that we don’t have to compromise our ‘must-have’ list,” says Mandel.
This idea of the “must-haves” list is interesting. We will swipe left ad nauseam until we find someone who checks all our boxes because we assume we will find this person since it appears as if we have unlimited options. Imagine living in a small town without as many dating prospects. You’ll probably make the partner you have, work, rather than pass them off after one date to see who else has landed in your inbox.
Van Doran put it this way, “There is a tendency with online dating to go on lots of first dates – because, well, FOMO.”
FOMO. The fear of missing out.
(Link): Why Online Dating Doesn’t Work