Woman Realizes Having Open Relationship Bothers Her / Married Couple Confront Each Other About Their Other Sexual Partners via Cosmo Magazine

Woman Realizes Having Open Relationship Bothers Her / Married Couple Confront Each Other About Their Other Sexual Partners via Cosmo Magazine 

I do have some problems with how conservatives (including conservative Christians not just secular social conservatives) deal with the topic of sex (hey, about 65% of my blog posts are about that topic). However, your liberals can be problematic in this area as well.

Liberals like to believe sex has no consequences, not physical nor emotional.

However, at the same time, they scream on their blogs against abstinence-only public school sex education and yell that women should receive tax-payer funded birth control, abortion should be legally and widely available, and so on.

Liberals tend to downplay the possible physical ramifications of sex, especially for women, when speaking or writing for women (ie, sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancy), to teach women that being trampy is not shameful but is feminist and empowering. I find that liberals sometimes speak out of both sides of their mouth on this topic.

Secular feminists also like to tell women (especially the younger, naive ones) that they won’t have any emotional fall-out from having sex.

I’ve known women (in person) and read of too many testimonies by women online and in magazines to know that is not always so.

Plenty of people do have issues accepting that their partner has a sexual history or has cheated on them with another person.

Here is another example  or two of this being the case (I have not watched the video on the page with the video.)

I will also link to a page I saw recently by a woman who said she was initially fine and accepting of her poly-whatever boyfriend but after so many months of dating the guy, knowing he was emotionally growing attached to the other women he was dating and having sex with disturbed her.

(Link): I Tried an Open Relationship—and It Was a Disaster 

Excerpts:

  • by Sophie S. Thomas
  • Three ways I’m better at being monogamous now.
  • …Jack [the writer’s boyfriend] was polyamorous. And because I was in love with him, I wanted to go with the flow and make it work. I tried for three years to do things his way — I’d sometimes sleep with other people while he sometimes went on dates with potential new partners.

  • Back in the cold bathroom with the harsh yellow light, I heard a bottle of Ativan rattling around in my purse.

  • I was trying to avoid eating them like candy. I had to think through this rationally: In theory, I was fine with polyamory. After all, I had done my homework (required reading: The Ethical Slut), and had intellectualized the benefits of such a relationship structure. There’s more love, there’s more sex, there’s more freedom. I repeated this to myself a lot.

  • Although nothing ended up happening between them that night, I visualized my boyfriend getting a blowjob from another woman—but it wasn’t the visual that was bothering me. If we’re being brutally honest, I’m actually one of those people who finds the idea of my partner fucking someone else is kind of hot.

  • No: It was the date. It was the hypothetical emotional intimacy that made me feel panicked in my chest—and pharmaceuticals wouldn’t make it go away.

Allow me to pause here and say: if the visual or thought of your partner getting physically intimate with another person makes you feel “hot,” and it does not anger, hurt, or offend you, and you are only upset by any so-called “emotional” bond your partner may form with another in the midst of the cheating, you are one sick puppy with some weird, twisted, shallow, and/or off-kilter ideas about true love, sex, dating, marriage, and relationships, IMO.

Next link:

(Link): Watch a Married Couple Confront Each Other About Their Other Sexual Partners

  • Another day, another (Link): video (Link): delving deep into a couple’s (Link): sore spots and personal lives for the sake of going viral getting to know each other on a whole new level. This one features Eilin and Andrew, a polyamorous couple who’ve been married four years.
  • Their relationship wasn’t always so loosely structured. One of the most awkward parts of the video has Andrew detail what he likes about having sex with other people and how he knows Eilin, who just recently began exploring her bisexuality, still sometimes has not come to terms with their open relationship.
  • They discuss the structure of their relationship a lot, with Andrew admitting later this is the first “practically monogamous” relationship he’s been in and that every day he is “just focusing on not paying attention to certain instincts that I have.”
  • Other uncomfortable questions that get answered: “Who sacrifices more in our relationship?” and, “What are you hesitant to tell me?” both of which are asked by Eilin and answered by Andrew. By the time the last question hits (“Who loves who more in this relationship?”), you will want to never watch one of these videos again while rewinding to make sure you’ve caught every detail.

And there you have it. In spite of some people pushing this idea that open relationships and poly-whatever relationships or past sexual history are NOT A BIG DEAL, people should just GET OVER IT – this stuff can and sometimes does impact people and relationships negatively.


Related Posts:

(Link):  Sometimes Fornication Can Impact Another Relationship Later – One Example

(Link):  Boyfriend is insecure about girlfriend’s past (Ask Amy Letter)

(Link): Elderly Remarried Dude Hung Up Over New Wife’s Two Ex Husbands – Past Relationship Actions Can Have Ramifications

(Link):   Ramifications of Pre Martial Sex – Sky Diver Husband; Also: Stereotypes About All Men Wanting Sex Constantly and Being Visually Stimulated Disproven Again

(Link): Fornication or Previous Marriages Can Negatively Impact Other Relationships Later – Another Example or Two (via Ask Amy, Hax)

 (Link):  Stop Pretending Sex Never Hurts, By D.C. McAllister

(Link):  When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men – and how the stereotype flipped

(Link): Slut Shaming and Secular and Christian Culture – Dirty Water / Used Chewing Gum and the CDC’s Warnings – I guess the CDC is a bunch of slut shamers ?

(Link): Christian Gender and Sex Stereotypes Act as Obstacles to Christian Singles Who Want to Get Married (Not All Men Are Obsessed with Sex)

(Link): Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s