The Worst Things a Man Can Say in His Online Dating Profile by S. Farris
I would also add to the list on the page I am linking to:
Hetero Men who are seeking women on dating sites and apps: do not send women unsolicited penis photos; do not have anything mentioning sex on your profile, and do not mention (or joke about) sex in any of your “must have” lists on dating sites or any part of your profile.
I don’t care if you are totally into sex and think sex is mucho importante in a relationship, any mention of sex (even if you think it’s funny to put vulgar jokes on your profile) is a turn-off (and / or creepy) to most women.
You wait until you have been dating a person for awhile to bring sex up, and even then, you should be TASTEFUL about it, not crass or perverted or weird.
- They show up for dates looking nothing like their pictures. They tell long, rambling stories about their “psycho exes” or spend the entirety of the evening talking about their material possessions.
- Men who date online never fail to surprise the women they meet, but they seem to be blissfully ignorant of the fact that they’re scaring people off.
- With men now (Link): drastically outnumbering women on many dating apps, can guys afford to offend the few female users they might attract?
Working with April Masini, a New York City-based relationship expert and psychotherapist, we analyzed responses from women who are currently active on the online dating scene.
- Masini regularly offers dating advice to people of both genders through her website (Link): AskApril.com. She reviewed the lines women hate to see most on online dating profiles and gave her advice on how men can better phrase them.
- 1. “No drama.”
- By the time people join online dating sites, they’ve often had a wealth of experiences that include breakups, job transitions, and possibly even parenthood.
- By demanding that potential dates bring “no drama,” men are essentially asking that they have a pristine past, which is impossible after a certain age.
“Someone who advertises that he doesn’t want drama has had his share of it and is projecting his own baggage onto potential dates,” Masini says.
- “Anyone who’s divorced or is a single parent might as well just not respond. Anyone who has a normal child knows there is drama involved in parenting. Anyone who’s in a normal marriage knows there’s occasionally drama in any healthy, happy relationship. This guy has no tolerance for normal relationship challenges. Be perfect, or move on.”
A better line to use: “Looking for a peaceful, idyllic and happy relationship.”
- 2. “Looking for someone who is physically fit.”
- If the man posting this request is physically fit himself, women see the comment as coming from someone who cares more about developing his body than his mind. If it comes from someone who isn’t in good physical shape, it simply reads that he only wants to date women who fit some ideal of “beautiful.”
Either way, it comes across as shallow.
“For most women, their body is their greatest source of insecurity in dating, especially online dating, which tends to attract people who are very busy,” Masini says. “These are women with an extra five or 10 pounds to lose, who are nervous about getting naked with someone new. When a guy comes right out and says he’s looking for someone who is physically fit, he’s letting you know that he wants a good body. And he’ll be looking.”
A better line to use: “Must love a guy who loves going to the gym.”