Mommy Blogger Confesses in Blog Post that Mommy Blogging is a Bunch of Fake, Happy-Clappy B.S. – Kind of Like Most Christian Adult Singleness Blogs
I first got wind of this story via SCCL Facebook group ((Link): Conversation about this topic at SCCL FB Group).
A link to a news article about the Mommy Blogger is much farther below. I wanted to say a few things before getting to the article.
The (ex?) mommy blogger in question, Josi Denise, says in one of her blog posts that a lot of mommy blogging is fake and too happy-clappy.
Denise’s critique of Mommy Blogging is reminiscent of my views on blogs or magazine articles by Christians pertaining to adult singleness, which you can read here:
- (Link): The Cloying Annoying Nauseating G-Rated Wholesome Saccharin Sweet Tone of Articles by Christians For Christian Singles
I find that a lot of Christian-written material for adult singles is too sickeningly sweet.
There is an absence in most Christian-penned material for singles that honestly, really gets into and grapples with, how hard, painful, or disappointing it can be to be single into your 30s and older, when you had really expected or had hoped to marry.
Concerning being single against your hopes, Christians tend to gloss over that disappointment, confusion, and pain (and to sometimes paper it over) with G-rated, wholesome, shallow little Jesus-y sounding cliches that are supposed to make you feel gosh-golly super awesome happy about being single in your 30s or older, and it makes me infuriated.
Or, some Christians (including, sadly, some never married Christians who are age 40 and older) get super serious with you about the whole, “okay, so you find yourself single at age 40 when you wanted to marry” situation and then SHAME you and SCOLD you for being bummed out over your single status.
These scolders give you these condescending lectures about how life is more than marriage, you should be on-fire for serving Jesus instead of being preoccupied with getting dates, and hey, you won’t be married in the afterlife, so STFU about being single already.
I think I blogged about that before, too, in 2 or three posts: here is (Link): one of those posts. I don’t remember what the other post was. Those types of super serious, totally pious attitudes and posts and books that scold singles who are sad about being single hack me off, too.
Denise popped up on SCCL to say someone hacked her blog, and it’s temporarily suspended, but it should be back up eventually.
Said one commentator in the SCCL thread about this story:
by S. Fisher
Yep. She’s nailed what I long suspected, especially about the fake happiness. As an ex-wanna-be mommy blogger I now wonder how miserable all these women actually are in their lives.
Because I was writing all the same happy-clappy BS while being abused by my husband. It’s probably a lot to do with their religion.
Most American religion teaches that if you just act happy and are thankful then your miserable life will be better. I suppose they’ve added “and you can make a few bucks on the side.”
— end excerpts —
I think Denise’s blog goes to show that people can and do present this image of themselves to the public that does not line up to their reality, and this can cause other people harm.
Imagine a childless woman who is terribly upset over not being a mother who happens to land on one of those up-beat, perky, mommy blog posts – it might make her feel bad about her life and situation.
She might sit there and cry and think, “Look how happy this woman is to be a mother. Why can’t that be me?”
Maybe such a woman is ordinarily okay with being childless and has accepted she can never be a mother, but hearing other women talk about how great it is to be a mother triggers a feeling of sadness.
What if such a woman were to find out that many of these mommy bloggers are in fact miserable in their personal lives, even though they have children, and present this fake, happy and sunshiny image of themselves on their blogs?
I think Denise is doing a huge service for a lot of women who may feel bummed out that they are not mothers and may never be mothers. She’s showing that being a mother is not an endless parade of rainbows and gum drops.
As for me and my blog and singleness: I don’t make any money off my blog at all. I don’t blog for stats, views, followers, or readers. It’s nice if like-minded singles drop by and leave nice comments, but that’s not the main reason why I started the blog.
I started this blog a few years ago and use it mainly as a public journal where I rant about singles-related issues that bug me, or topics that I find interesting.
I also see a lack of blogging and magazine articles for and about older Christian singles (any Christian material that is online or in print form is geared towards 20-something singles most of the time).
Because Christians weren’t going to write blog posts about older singles, I started writing them myself, mainly for myself.
I have been totally honest about anything I’ve written about in regards to my personal life on this blog and on Twitter but have noted in former posts where I have altered details (such as names) because I am trying to maintain anonymity.
The funny thing is, I’ve had at least one younger single complain that my blog is not happy-clappy enough for her tastes, so she had no future plans of visiting again – LOLOLOLOL.
I find that being single is sometimes okay, sometimes it bothers me. It’s an “up and down” journey. This means that not all of my blog posts are going to be positive and cheerful.
If you need THAT type of barfy, perky, phony, nauseatingly- cheery blog about adult singleness (and that glosses over how painful it can be to be single at 40 when you thought you’d be married by 35), go visit “Boundless,” or any of the other agenda-driven Christian blogs –
-such as, Bayly blog, “Godly Girls Gone Wild” blog (or whatever it’s called), anything by Doug Wilson, Southern Baptist Biblical Womanhood site, CBMW, etc, ad nauseum – that are trying to convince you that being a subservient doormat to a Christian “male head” and marrying before you hit age 25 is the greatest thing ever).
Many Christians maintain that being a parent (or being married) is necessary to being a full blown mature, godly, ethical adult.
Thanks to this Mommy Blogger – who admits a lot of Mommy Blogging consists of being deceitful or outright dishonest – we can see that being a parent does not automatically or necessarily guarantee that a person will be totally honest, mature, and above-board, so a big thank you to her for exposing this Mommy Blogging stuff.
Edit. A few of the commentators at SCCL expressed skepticism about how genuine this post by this Denise blogger is. I’m assuming that Denise is being sincere, but even if she’s not, it’s refreshing to see a blog post by someone who never-the-less admits that a lot of content for certain groups (whether mothers or adult singles) are too sun-shiny, optimistic, and therefore, pretty unrealistic.
Here is a link to a news report about the Mommy Blogger:
Josi Denise became a “mommy blogger” in 2013, building up her American Mama blog until it reached “tens of thousands” of monthly readers, generating the mother of three “thousands of dollars” in some months.
But the blog came to an abrupt end late last week, when Denise had a crisis of conscience and quit.
She has deleted many of those posts, she said, “Because, like 90% of the fake nonsense I used to share on the internet as a mommy blogger writing about my fake life and oh-so-happy marriage, they are pure b——t.”
…Then there is the relentless fake happiness, signaled with exclamation marks. Denise said the most recent brand she worked with even sent back a draft post “edited with at least half a dozen exclamation points added.”
…Denise is particularly sick of mommy bloggers’ fake endorsements — “sunshine and f—ing daisy reviews” — in which bloggers fail to tell a brand what they really think of their product because of the risk that the brand might not work with them again.
(Link): Singleness is Not A Gift
(Link): Desire for Marriage is Idolatry?
This applies to marriage, too:
(Link): Hypocrisy in Christian Culture – Those who idolize parenting chide infertiles for trying to have kids