Three Lies Culture Tells Us About Being Single via Relevant Magazine

Three Lies Culture Tells Us About Being Single via Relevant Magazine

(Link):  Three Lies Culture Tells Us About Being Single via Relevant Magazine


  • …While we all know that TV portrayals [of adult singleness] are a far cry from reality, cultural influences like these—combined with the voices we pick up from church and our communities—all manage to creep into our expectations for what single life is really like.
  • But singleness is never as black and white as caricatures and stereotypes make it out to be. And the truth is, every person’s experience of singleness is going to look a little different. There are times when singleness provides freedom and flexibility that we know we’ll never experience in any other season, and it’s thrilling.
  • But there are also moments when singleness leads to feelings of disenchantment or disappointment, as men and women wonder how their individual story fits in with the bigger picture of God’s plan.
  • [Myths of Singleness]
  • 1. If you’re single, then your dating life is public domain. 

  • 2. If you’re single, then you’re selfish.
  • 3. If you’re single, then you’re not really an adult. 

  • Throughout my early and mid-twenties, I frequently related to Pinocchio. He wanted to be a real boy—I wanted to be a real adult.
  • But, in many instances I felt like I wouldn’t be able to earn the respect of a fully grown adult until I tied the knot.
  • I’ve talked to many single men and women in the church who have felt the same way.

  • Because marriage is the ultimate expression of commitment, it can be easy to assume that a lack of marriage must mean an unwillingness to commit, which is seen as an indicator of immaturity.

    In reality, relationship status doesn’t necessarily indicate an aversion to commitment or responsibility. It’s more likely an indicator of not having found the right person to commit to just yet. And that’s OK.


    Life events like marriage, owning a house or working a full-time job are all opportunities for personal growth and responsibility, but they are not benchmarks to earning adult status. It’s possible to have all of these things and still lack maturity. And it’s very possible to possess maturity and wisdom without these experiences.



(Link):  How Christians Have Failed on Teaching Maturity and Morality Vis A Vis Marriage / Parenthood – Used as Markers of Maturity Or Assumed to be Sanctifiers – Also: More Hypocrisy – Christians Teach You Need A Spouse to Be Purified, But Also Teach God Won’t Send You a Spouse Until You Become Purified

(Link):  Bethke: “Christians Do Not Need To Get Married To Live A Full And Flourishing Existence”

(Link):  Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal

(Link): Really, It’s Okay To Be Single – In order to protect marriage, we should be careful not to denigrate singleness – by Peter Chin

(Link):  Are Single People the Lepers of Today’s Church? by Gina Dalfonzo

(Link): Christian ‘Married People’ Privilege – Most Marrieds Remain Amazingly Blinded to Christian Discrimination Against Singles Or Write Unmarrieds’ Concerns Off, As Though They Are Nothing Compared to Marriage/ Parenting.

(Link): Never Married Christians Over Age 35 who are childless Are More Ignored Than Divorced or Infertile People or Single Parents 

(Link):   Christian Double Standard – Pray Earnestly For Anything & Everything – Except Marriage?

(Link):  Seven Truths About Marriage You Won’t Hear in Church by F. Powell

(Link):  Why Do Churches Treat Singleness Like a Problem? via Relevant Magazine

(Link):  Sex Regarded as Passage Into Adulthood

(Link): Do Married Couples Slight Their Family Members as Well as Their Friends? (The answer: Yes, they do – studies show married people are more selfish than single people) / “Greedy Marriages”

(Link): A Grown-Up, Not Sexed-Up, View of Womanhood (article) – how Christian teachings on gender and singlehood contribute to raunch culture and fornication etc

(Link): The Holy Spirit Sanctifies a Person Not A Spouse – Weekly Christian Marriage Advice Column Pokes Holes in Christian Stereotype that Marriage Automatically Sanctifies People

(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)


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