Women Are More Interested In Sex Than You Think, (2016) Studies Show – Men underestimate their wife’s or girlfriend’s sexual desire; read the signals

Women Are More Interested In Sex Than You Think, (2016) Studies Show – Men underestimate their wife’s or girlfriend’s sexual desire; read the signals

The majority of Christians will disregard this study, because it does not fit their culturally- based gender stereotypes that men are sexual animals and visually oriented while all women are supposedly, basically uninterested in sex and only interested in emotional closeness, weeping at beautiful poetry, and knitting scarves.

It is true: for all their bloviating on how they adhere to “sola scriptura,” many Christians take their secular-cultural based assumptions about women and read them back into the Bible. The Bible no where teaches that “God designed men to be visual” or that “men are more interested in sex than women are.” Christians get those assumptions from their culture or perceived personal experiences – not from the Bible.

(Link): Women Are More Interested In Sex Than You Think, (2016) Studies Show

Excerpts

  • by E. Bernstein
  • Men underestimate their wife’s or girlfriend’s sexual desire; read the signals
  • Rarely are researchers’ findings so satisfying. Women may want more sex than their husbands or partners think.
  • New research by psychologists at the University of Toronto and the University of Western Ontario, (Link): published earlier this month in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, found that men in long-term relationships often underestimate how often their wives or girlfriends want to be intimate.
  • The research consists of three studies, following a total of 229 long-term couples, most of whom are heterosexual. (The sample of homosexual couples was too small to be statistically significant, the researchers say.) Participants ranged in age from 18 to 68 years old; the couples had been together six years on average, and they reported they had sex an average of one to two times a week.
  • ….All three studies showed the same thing: Men consistently underestimated their female partner’s desire, while the women had an accurate read on whether or not their partner was interested in sex. And on the days when the men thought their partner was less sexually interested than she actually was, the women reported being more satisfied in and committed to the relationship.

  • The researchers believe that men underestimate their partner’s desire to avoid sexual rejection. If a man initiates sex and his wife rebuffs him, he may feel bad or resentful and she may feel annoyed.
  • By assuming she isn’t interested and not initiating sex, he avoids this downward spiral.
  • And he also may work harder to entice her, which may explain why she still feels content on those days. “It is better for the relationship for him to under-perceive, because it avoids complacency,” says Amy Muise, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Toronto.
  • ….Men have a higher sex drive on average, research has found. But in long-term relationships—typically defined as longer than three years—men are equally as likely as women to be the partner with low sexual desire.
  • A June, 2015, article in the journal “Current Sexual Health Reports” reviewed 31 research studies on sexual desire and sexual discrepancy and found no gender differences in which partner had the higher sex drive.
  • “The assumption that women are going to be the lower-desire partner needs to be thrown out,” says Kristen Mark, author of the article and director of the sexual health promotion laboratory at the University of Kentucky, in Lexington, Ky.
  • There are a number of reasons why a man might underestimate how much sex his female partner wants, psychologists say. Some women don’t feel comfortable initiating sex. Others give up initiating after their cues are ignored or missed repeatedly. And many just don’t send clear enough signals.
  • “I will see women in my office who will tell their husband: ‘Remember when I was joking about that sex scene in that movie we saw? Well, I was trying to come onto you,’” says Sari Cooper, a sex and marriage therapist in New York City. “He may need something more overt.”
  • The problem of women not communicating well about their desire is more complex than couples think, Ms. Cooper says. The woman may not really know what she wants sexually, so has trouble communicating her wishes or would feel uncomfortable following through with what she asked for. Or she may know that she is the higher-desire partner and be trying to spare his feelings, so he doesn’t feel pressured or unmanly if he doesn’t want to have sex.
  • …So what can a couple do? Communicate—not just about when they want to have sex, or what they like, but also about what signals they use to show their desire. They should also talk about what signals they prefer to receive.
  • ….If you can tell your partner is interested in sex but you aren’t in the mood, acknowledge their desire.

Related Posts:

(Link):  Women Have A Higher Sex Drive Than Men, According to New (2017) Study

(Link):  When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men – and how the stereotype flipped

(Link): Groundbreaking News: Women Like Sex (part 1, 2) (articles)

(Link): Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality : All Unmarried Women Are Supposedly Hyper Sexed Harlots – But All Married Ones are Supposedly Frigid or Totally Uninterested in Sex

(Link): Why are we denying that women used Ashley Madison? by R. Margolis

(Link):  When society isn’t judging, women’s sex drive rivals men’s

(Link): Women are buying more sex than ever before, new research claims (May 2015)

(Link): Some Christian Women Use Pornography – No Duh. I’ve been saying this all along.

(Link): The Secret Women’s Porn Problem (article about Christian women who use porn)

(Link): Getting Married Does Not Necessarily Guarantee Frequent Hot Satisfying Sexy Sex / (also discussed): Gender and Sex Stereotypes (article)

(Link): How My  [this was written by and about a Woman] Wild Sex Drive Killed My Marriage – review by L. Crocker of book by R. Rinaldi

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