Unpopular Opinion: Your First Time Doesn’t Have To Matter by B. Blake
- I would not be surprised if (Link): my Blog Stalker, John Morgan, still visits my blog (and sometimes my Twitter account) and steals links and story ideas to blog on at his blog. He’ll probably swipe the following story I found and feature it on his own blog.
I don’t think I agree with everything on this page, but here it is (I couldn’t help but notice that a lot of the commentators at the site did not seem to like this essay):
(Link): Unpopular Opinion: Your First Time Doesn’t Have To Matter by B. Blake
- May 31, 2016
I quickly realized that everything I read about giving the man pleasure told me nothing about receiving mine.
During my teenage years, I read women’s magazines religiously. I memorized sex tips that held no practical use to me and devoured the stories about women pleasing men. I was obsessed with sex, like the magazines and media told me I should be. The information made me feel sophisticated and worldly — and in a big rush to find a guy to please and use all the knowledge I had.
Everything I read about (Link): the big First Time (read: strictly penetrative vaginal sex with a male partner) seemed to stress making it special. That was the moment (Link): you lost your innocence and purity. The moment when you went from girlhood to womanhood. This all apparently happened in one moment, the second a guy’s penis gets inside your vagina. Sex changed you, the message went, and (Link): losing your virginity mattered. Bye-bye, purity and innocence.
- …The moment I got the opportunity with someone I thought was worthy of “taking” my virginity, I had sex and I quickly realized that everything I read about giving the man pleasure told me nothing about receiving mine. I was extremely disappointed and a bit ashamed of myself. I lost my virginity and “purity” — but felt confused and unfulfilled by the experience.
- How was this supposed to be some mythical occurrence? It made no sense and I didn’t actually look or feel that much different. And, if my stepsister was to be believed, this would be an event that never left me my memory.
- I think she vastly overestimated my memory. Almost seven years later, I barely recall anything except that it hurt and didn’t last long. I haven’t kept in much contact with the guy after we broke things off, so his face isn’t fresh in my mind either. When I think about sex, I don’t picture him. I think of my long-term boyfriends, of wild flings, of pleasurable nights.