Celibate Christian Woman Asks Christian Host Why God Will Not Send Her a Husband
A couple of days ago, I saw this episode of The 700 Club.
A celibate Christian woman wrote Pat Robertson this question –
And her question is one all Christians avoid: they just scream at a 20 year old today to MARRY NOW NOW NOW!
They have no advice and no encouragement to give any adult over 35 who wants to be married but still finds him or herself single.
The usual Christian response is just to shame this lady for supposedly not having done enough to marry when younger, in spite of not knowing her background, or what she did to try to marry – Christians just arrogantly ASSUME if you are not married past a certain age, it is all your fault, and there were no mitigating circumstances.
So here’s her question to Pat, host of The 700 Club:
- Dear Pat,
- The Bible says that it’s better to marry than to burn with lust, but what about someone like me who can’t find someone to marry?
- I gave up sex years ago in obedience to God’s Word, but I haven’t been able to meet a man who shares my moral values – not at church or anywhere else.
- I still have desires that I don’t act on. Does God just not want me to have a husband for some reason? I’m no spring chicken anymore.
If I remember Pat’s advice correctly (you can watch his response below in the video if you like), I think he told her that “God puts the lonely in families” which seems to be one of his go-to responses every time single men and women who want to marry but who can’t find a partner write to him about. I think this was also the letter where he advised the woman to join dating sites such as eHarmony.
I tried eHarmony years ago, and it does not work, especially if you are a single female. You will not, even as a paid member, get many matches. E-Harmony will dribble out about one match PER MONTH.
Once you stop paying, they claim they cannot find ANY matches ANYWHERE, even if you change the site parameters to accept men from any part of the USA or the world (I know, I tried).
Further, the types of men on e-Harmony, like most sites, are either vulgar or are entitled ass hats. There were so-called Christian men on these sites with smutty jokes in their dating page profiles, asking me sex questions very early in our online relationships, etc.
So, I hate to inform Pat of this, but dating sites are NOT panaceas for celibate, Christian women or for any woman.
Also, it’s not true the God puts the single and/or lonely in to families. (Ask me how I know.) Thank goodness I am an extreme introvert, because if I did not have high tolerance for being almost void of human contact and human relationships, I probably would’ve hanged myself several years ago.
Pat has given some spectacularly insensitive advice to other single women who have written him before, which I will try to link to at the bottom of this post, under the “Related Posts” section.
You can watch the videos here – the ones where the lady wrote Pat saying she’s single but God isn’t sending her a spouse (same video, just one is hosted on CBN’s site, the other is hosted on You Tube).
(Link): Bring It On-Line: Burning with Lust – June 29, 2016 (You Tube)
(Link): Bring It On-Line: Burning with Lust – June 29, 2016 (CBN site)
Video with letter, via You Tube:
(Link): Pat Robertson’s Incredibly Insensitive Advice to Gail the Unmarried Woman
(Link): What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway
(Link): Twice-Divorced Lady Suggests That God Told Her He’d Send Her Husband Number Three and She Got Married a Third Time – I Actually Don’t Find This Story Uplifting
(Link): Cathy The Single Woman Asks Pat Robertson Why God Has Not Replied to Her Prayers for Years to Send Her a Spouse
(Link): Pat Robertson Feigns Ignorance At Allegations He’s Been Insensitive Towards Older Single Christian Women Who Cannot Find Marriage Partners
(Link): Women: Stop Asking Pat Robertson For Romantic Relationship Advice – Whether You Are Divorced or Single – Pat Robertson Replies to Letter from Four Time Divorced Woman Who Wants to Know If God Will Send Her a Non-Abusive Husband
(Link): Never-Married Adult Man Named Stephen Asks Christian Host Why God Has Not Answered His 3-Decades Long Prayers To Send Him A Wife
(Link): 60 Year Old, Never- Married Woman Asks Christian TV Host Pat Robertson If Some Are Just Not Meant to Marry
(Link): Prayer and The 700 Club – Some Observations and Suggestions
(Link): Christian TV Show Pat Robertson Says Wives Who Want Emotional Support from a Husband Are Immature and Should Not Expect Emotional Support
(Link): Pat Robertson Says 44 Year old Never Married Woman Who Wants Marriage is “Desperate”
(Link): Christian Viewer Expresses Disappointment in God, Wants To Know Why, In Spite of Years of Service, God is Not Helping Him
(Link): How the Dating Scene Became Stacked Against Women
(Link): Stop Telling Your Single Friends to Try Dating Sites – Please.
(Link): Blaming the Christian for His or Her Own Problem or Unanswered Prayer / Christian Codependency
(Link): Joanne The Widow Lady Wants to Know Why God Didn’t Answer Her Prayer to Keep her Husband With Her
(Link): What Two Religions Tell Us About the Modern Dating Crisis (from TIME) (ie, Why Are Conservative Religious Women Not Marrying Even Though They Want to Be Married. Hint: It’s a Demographics Issue)
(Link): Christians Who Marry Non-Believers Must Be Ex-Communicated, Says John Piper
(Link): Christians Advise Singles To Follow Certain Dating Advice But Then Shame, Criticize, or Punish Singles When That Advice Does Not Work
(Link): ‘Why Are You Single’ Lists That Do Not Pathologize Singles
(Link): Does God Require Singles to Be Perfect Before He Will Send Them a Spouse
(Link): Typical Incorrect Conservative Christian Assumption: If you want marriage bad enough, Mr. Right will magically appear
(Link): It’s Not Your Imagination, Single Women: There Literally Aren’t Enough Men Out There – Re: Man Shortage – Follow Up Interview
(Link): Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians Re: Marriage
(Link): Why are Working Women Starting to Unplug from Their Churches? by Sandra Crawford Williamson (Also discusses never married adult women)
(Link): Howard Married to Flirty Wife Who Had Affair – Pat Robertson’s Insensitive Advice
(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)
(Link): Consider The Source: Christians Who Give Singles Dating Advice Also Regularly Coach Wives to Stay in Abusive Marriages
(Link): Five Things Single Women Hate to Hear
(Link): Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother
(Link): Following the Usual Advice Won’t Get You Dates or Married – Even Celebrities Have A Hard Time
(Link): Depressing Testimony: “I Was A Stripper but Jesus Sent Me A Great Christian Husband”
(Link): Single woman frustrated in a religious community (letter to advice columnist)
(Link): Sick of Being Single / I Am So Sick and Tired of Being Single Alone Unmarried Lonely
(Link): The Grief, Happiness, and Hope of Late-in-Life Singleness by H. Ferguson
(Link): Is Interfaith Marriage Always Wrong, Given that the Bible Teaches Us Not to Be ‘Unequally Yoked’?
(Link): True Love Waits . . . and Waits . . . and Waits – editorial about delayed marriage and related issues
(Link): There is No Such Thing as a Gift of Singleness or Gift of Celibacy or A Calling To Either One