I Was Single For Decades. Now I’m Happily Married and Feel Like I’ve ‘Sold Out.’ by A. Landa

I Was Single For Decades. Now I’m Happily Married and Feel Like I’ve ‘Sold Out.’ by A. Landa

(Link): I was single for decades. Now I’m happily married and feel like I’ve ‘sold out.’ by A. Landa

Excerpts:

August 2016

…So why did it take me years to address us in the plural because I felt allergic to the word “we”? Why did he have to practically blackmail me before I would put his name on the voice mail? And why have I repeatedly recoiled at the idea of mingling our finances?

My flip answer is that it’s out of habit. I spent my teens and 20s single. My husband is the only significant relationship I’ve had, and we didn’t start dating until I was 30. I enjoy listing off the achievements made easier given my single status: living overseas, entering graduate school, launching a freelance career.

For a long time, I felt as though love would always evade me, that my nose would be pressed against the glass forever as I watched from the outside, destined never to have what I so coveted.

Now I’m in a secure and happy marriage. Instead of celebrating my entry into the world I’d so hoped to know, I feel guilty for abandoning the world of the single, no longer able to make proclamations that I could do life on my own and that I didn’t need anyone else. 

Now, there’s a sense of selling out.

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Related:

(Link):   Single Adult Christian Pressured Into Marriage by Her Church – And Regrets It

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