Benevolent Sexism in the Christian Bedroom (Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality) by J. Kamps
Some parts of these posts tackle subjects I’ve mentioned before on my blog in the past.
(Link): It’s my orgasm, not his [part 1] by J. Kamps
(Link): It’s my orgasm, not his [part 2] by J. Kamps
Excerpts from (Link): It’s my orgasm, not his [part 1] by J. Kamps
Jasmine’s story is an example of Benevolent Sexism. Hostile Sexism is fairly easy to recognise. Benevolent Sexism is sneaky and far more socially pervasive. It parades around wearing a facade of chivalry, making out women to be weaker, lesser, diminished, objectified, by using what are perceived as good manners, male consideration, and role definition.
Benevolent Sexism operates on the fundamental belief that, whether observed in practice or not, there IS a gender hierarchy.
….Benevolent Sexism even uses compliments and praise to disarm and disempower women. “Women are kinder, gentler, naturally more loving. Women are not as strong as men, so they require protection. Women are not as naturally competitive.”
….Both Jasmine and I have desire for sex. This includes both physical and mental desire. Our womanhood does not exclude us from feeling physical desire for orgasmic release, nor exempt us from the sinful ability to misuse sex.
….When Benevolent Sexism enters the bedroom, it brings the idea that a woman’s pleasure is a man’s responsibility. His orgasmic pleasure is seen not as her responsibility — she can lie back and do her duty — because she is not really a participant. She is the receptacle, the object, of his pleasure…
Excerpts from (Link): It’s my orgasm, not his [part 2] by J. Kamps
….There is no clause [in the Bible] for married women that allows us to sign over our spiritual autonomy to our husbands, nor anything that suddenly drops the weight of two souls on a man’s shoulders come wedding day. Men, you are acquitted from bearing spiritual responsibility for your wives. You are as much the Bride of Christ as your female counterparts.
…. But whether married or not, consent is always key in matters of sexual intimacy. To clarify, “consent is ongoing, freely given, specific, informed, and enthusiastic”. That is, sexual consent is an ongoing and continual yes, which is specific to and made in full knowledge of the act in question, and given in free will without coercion or pressure of any kind. Anything less than full consent is a no. Anything less than full consent is rape or molestation. And yes, such ugly things do happen in marriages.
….This decision of marriage to serve the other, whether in bed or out, has long been abused by the historically-male-led church to ensure guys could get their rocks off and gals had to go along with it. We’ve been taught that women can lie back and think of England, resign ourselves to the baby making life, and please our husbands. We’ve been taught that women don’t enjoy or desire sex as much as men. We’ve been taught that men have stronger needs for sex. But this just isn’t true. Women are endowed with ability and desire for sex, for intimacy, for a plain old orgasm, just as much as men.
(Link): Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality : All Unmarried Women Are Supposedly Hyper Sexed Harlots – But All Married Ones are Supposedly Frigid or Totally Uninterested in Sex
(Link): Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”
(Link): When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men – and how the stereotype flipped
(Link): Women Are Visual And Like Hot Looking Men (Part 1) Joseph in Genesis Was A Stud Muffin
(Link): Groundbreaking News: Women Like Sex (part 1, 2) (articles)
(Link): 4 Sexist Myths That The Church Should Reject – 3. Men Are Primarily Sexual Beings and Women Are Not Sexual by R. Asproth
(Link): Women Are More Interested In Sex Than You Think, (2016) Studies Show – Men underestimate their wife’s or girlfriend’s sexual desire; read the signals
(Link): When society isn’t judging, women’s sex drive rivals men’s
(Link): Discipling Healthy Male/Female Relationships in the Church Part 1 by Wendy Alsup
(Link): Letter to Advice Columnist: Husband Upset That Wife Masturbates – Marriage Doesn’t Guarantee Hot Regular Sex For Both or Either Partner, Contra Usual Christian Claims
(Link): Sex is Always the Solution – supposedly, according to Christian writers and preachers. (Also: Christian married men feel entitled to sex, contra 1 Corinthians 7:5.)