Being Single is Hard by E. Lindsay

Being Single is Hard by E. Lindsay

This was first brought to my attention by zolemica2 on Twitter. I appreciate her passing this along.

This was certainly a page I related to.  The author definitely captures some of the hypocrisy that married people engage in.

(Link): Being Single is Hard by E. Lindsay

Excerpts:

…If you’re single, and you complain about being single, you’ll normally get some advice about learning to accept yourself before being able to be with a partner. The current model is work on yourself, “improve” yourself, when you’re alone then when you are sufficiently “un-broken” you will be able to attract a mate.

To admit that you’re unsatisfied being single is almost like an admission that you’re not ready to be in a relationship; if you’re not “complete” when you’re alone, you’re not worthy of a partner.

…[The author took all that advice and took on self-improvement.] But, I don’t think it made me any more datable.

…All that bugs me about it, is there’s a sort of reverse causality assumed about the whole thing. My partnered friends think because they were well put together they attracted a partner, but I think having a partner makes it easier for them to be well put together. Thing is, I remember what most of them were like when they were single, and most of them didn’t handle it well.

And, they didn’t come to terms with being single and enter some magical zen state of balance, most of them found someone to date, and then after that they found balance. But, most people in relationships like to hold to the idea that they’re fully functional alone, and so falsely push this “be self sufficient” advice on single people.

(( click here to read the rest of her page ))


Related Posts:

(Link):  Women: Stop Asking Pat Robertson For Romantic Relationship Advice – Whether You Are Divorced or Single 

(Link):   All Dating Advice is as Terrible As the People Who Give It by Oliver Burkeman

(Link): Singleness Is Not A Gift

(Link): ‘Why Are You Single’ Lists That Do Not Pathologize Singles by Bella DePaulo  

(Link):  Five Things Single Women Hate to Hear

(Link): Unmarried / Single People Are Supposedly Bitter & Have Too Much Baggage – and that’s why you’re still single they say

(Link):   Five Unhelpful Things Singles Are Tired Of Hearing by R. Duncan / Eight Things You Should Never Say To Your Single Friends by K. Wilkinson

(Link): Really, It’s Okay To Be Single – In order to protect marriage, we should be careful not to denigrate singleness – by Peter Chin

(Link): Another Obnoxious ‘Why You’re Not Married Yet‘ Article

(Link): A Long Time Single Responds to a ‘Why You’re Not Married’ Article

(Link): Myths About Never Married Adults Over Age 40

(Link): Slut? Selfish? Sad? No, just a single woman (editorial)

(Link):  Things Married People Should Not Say to Singles (via Hax)

(Link):   10 Things Never to Say to a Single Girl (article)

(Link):   Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians | Re: Marriage Not Happening for Hetero-sexual Christians Over the Age of 30

(Link): Christians: Please Stop Telling Singles that Their Singleness is “For God’s Glory” /  Owen Strachan’s “Being Single To Bring God Glory” Essay

(Link): The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single

(Link):  “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” – one of the most excellent Christian rebuttals I have seen against the Christian idolatry of marriage and natalism, and in support of adult singleness and celibacy – from CBE’s site

(Link): Christian ‘Married People’ Privilege – Most Marrieds Remain Amazingly Blinded to Christian Discrimination Against Singles Or Write Unmarrieds’ Concerns Off, As Though They Are Nothing Compared to Marriage/ Parenting.
Marrieds and Parents also turn every thing into them, about them, about marriage and their needs/ problems

(Link):  Consider The Source: Christians Who Give Singles Dating Advice Also Regularly Coach Wives to Stay in Abusive Marriages

(Link):  How the Dating Scene Became Stacked Against Women

(Link):  Stop Telling Your Single Friends to Try Dating Sites – Please. 

(Link):  Blaming the Christian for His or Her Own Problem or Unanswered Prayer / Christian Codependency

(Link):  What Two Religions Tell Us About the Modern Dating Crisis (from TIME) (ie, Why Are Conservative Religious Women Not Marrying Even Though They Want to Be Married. Hint: It’s a Demographics Issue) 

(Link):  Christians Advise Singles To Follow Certain Dating Advice But Then Shame, Criticize, or Punish Singles When That Advice Does Not Work

(Link): ‘Why Are You Single’ Lists That Do Not Pathologize Singles

(Link): Forget About Being ‘Equally Yoked’ – Article: ‘My Abusive ‘Christian’ Marriage’

(Link): Married Female Christian Blogger Whose Mate Hunting Criteria is Guaranteed to Keep Marriage Minded Single Christian Men Single Perpetually

(Link): 34 Year Old Single Woman Harassed by Relatives at Wedding Over Why She Is Not Married Yet Asks How To Get Them to STFU About Her Singleness

(Link): I’m Single, But I’m Still a Whole Person (article)

(Link):  You Will Be Ignored After Your Spouse Dies

(Link): Article: My Savior My Spouse? – Is God or Jesus Your Husband Isaiah 54:5

(Link): Following the Usual Advice Won’t Get You Dates or Married – Even Celebrities Have A Hard Time

(Link): Fifteen Things You Shouldn’t Say or Do To Your Single Friends

(Link):  New-ish Christian Cliche’ About Singlehood: “Don’t Waste Your Singleness” -or- “Make the Most of Your Singleness”

(Link): Responding to the Cliche’ ‘Jesus Is All You Need’ – Christian never married lonely single

(Link): Christian Singles Never Marrieds – it’s okay to get your needs met

(Link): Responding to the Cliche’ “Jesus Is All You Need” – Re Christian Singles

(Link): The Problem with Platitudes – for Christian single over 35 years old never married

(Link): Same Old Tired Advice to Christian Singles

(Link): Singleness and Scripture – responding to Christian myths about singleness

(Link): Unmarried Christian Women Ain’t Got Time Fo’ Dat!

(Link): List of Christian Singlehood Annoyances, Part 1

(Link): List of Christian Singlehood Annoyances, Part 2

(Link): How (Married) Christians and Christian Teachings About Dating/Marriage Are Keeping Single Christians Single Part 1

(Link): On Christians Marrying Non Christians -and- Unrealistic, Too Rigid Spouse Selection Lists by Christians

 

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