I Probably Wouldn’t Be Discussing My Sexual Choices If Other People Would Shut Up About Theirs

I Probably Wouldn’t Be Discussing My Sexual Choices If Other People Would Shut Up About Theirs

I suppose my main basis for having started this blog a few years ago is that I am single and was wanting to get married, and I couldn’t figure out why I was still single – then I thought back, reflected, on how most churches ignore or disrespect single adults merely for being single. And I was not seeing this discussed much, or not consistently, on Christian sites.

But then I also started noticing how most people, Christians included, are terribly rude and disrespectful, towards people who are not having sex.

I just wanted to say I probably would not have started this blog about being a celibate adult (and being single), or write about celibacy as much as I did, if the church and most of society would shut up about sex and marriage.

I’m not the kind of person who goes around blabbing about her sexual status to people – certainly not announcing it all over the place, or not to friends or co-workers.

In the midst of promoting marriage, dating, and sex, a lot of secular and Christian groups denigrate singleness (or virginity until marriage, or celibacy).

It’s really annoying how secular and Christian society tries to make marriage and having sex to look like the norm. They either exclude celibates, singles, or asexual people (or the topics themselves), or they shame and ridicule singles and celibates (and asexuals) for being single or sexually abstinent.

I find it strange or inappropriate that so many other people in our culture find it necessary to hold public parades advertising or bragging about their sexual lives, preferences, or behaviors, or demanding that other Americans celebrate and support their sexual lives.

I sure as hell do not see anyone regularly championing the choice of celibates to be celibate, or supporting them for being celibate if they want to marry and have sex but can’t get married.

I don’t see anyone staging Celibacy Parades.

I see the fact of being celibate, or the choice to be, regularly mocked by the vast majority of left wingers, for example (and even some right wingers and Christians, such as pastor Mark Driscoll).

I do not see churches celebrating or condoning singleness but spending a hell of a lot of time shaming singles for being single and pressuring them to marry.

If it wasn’t for any of that, I probably wouldn’t be blogging about any of these topics.

---

Related Posts:

(Link): Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal

(Link):  How Christianity’s Focus on Hot Married Sex Negatively Impacts Adult Single Celibates from Practical Theology for Women blog

(Link):  Hey, Justice Kennedy: You don’t need to shame singles to uphold marriage by L. Bonos

(Link): The Christian and Non Christian Phenomenon of Virgin Shaming and Celibate Shaming

(Link): Salon Author Amanda Marcotte Thinks Media Shouldn’t Judge Women’s Sexuality But She Has Mocked Women Over Their Sexual Choices Before (To Remain Virgins)

(Link):  Marcotte on Anyone Choosing To Be a Virgin Until Marriage: “It’s a Silly Idea” – What Progressive Christians, Conservative Christians, Non Christians, and Salon’s Amanda Marcotte Gets Wrong About Christian Views on Virginity

(Link):  Virginity is a Sacred Choice, Not a Shameful Status by C. Martin / Giving Sex to a Man is Not A Guarantee for a Lasting Relationship – Contra Comic Chelsea Handler

(Link):  An Example of Mocking Adult Virginity Via Twitter (Virginity Used As Insult)

(Link): No Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity – Christians Attack and Criticize Virginity Sexual Purity Celibacy / Virginity Sexual Purity Not An Idol

(Link):  WashPost Columnist: ‘Ghostbusters’ Haters Are ‘Virgin Losers’ – (via NewsBusters Site); Both the Right and Left Wing Get Some things Wrong About This

(Link): Is Singleness A Sin? by Camerin Courtney

(Link): Celibate Shaming from an Anti- Slut Shaming Secular Feminist Site (Hypocrisy) Feminists Do Not Support All Choices

(Link): I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse To Be A Virgin – (Secular Editorial Defends Virginity – More Rare Than a Unicorn Sighting)

(Link): When Adult Virginity and Adult Celibacy Are Viewed As Inconvenient or As Impediments

(Link): Why all the articles about being Child Free? On Being Childfree or Childless – as a Conservative / Right Wing / Christian

(Link):  Really, It’s Okay To Be Single – In order to protect marriage, we should be careful not to denigrate singleness – by Peter Chin

(Link): I’m 45, Single And Childless. No, There’s Nothing ‘Wrong’ With Me. by M Notkin

(Link): According to Pastor – Jimmy Evans – It Takes One Man and Woman Married To Equal A Whole – so where does that leave Christian singles ?

(Link):  “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” – one of the most excellent Christian rebuttals I have seen against the Christian idolatry of marriage and natalism, and in support of adult singleness and celibacy – from CBE’s site

(Link):   Thirty Year Old Woman Kills Herself Due to Being Single and Childless – Churches contribute to this by either Ignoring adult singles or shaming them for being single and childless