Christian Abstinence Speaker Forces Girl Students to Hear Mandatory Sexual Purity Message While Boys Excused
I am not opposed to Christians teaching their kids about the benefits or moral basis of remaining a virgin until marriage. I do believe the Bible teaches that position, actually.
However, I do take issue with the fact that Christians almost always emphasize staying a virgin for girls but not for boys. That seems to be the case here.
That the boys were excused for a sexual abstinence message is, in my view, incredibly sexist and sends the wrong message – both to boys and girls. This sort of thing also makes Christians look like backwards, sexist rednecks to the Non-Christians who blogged about this to mock it or criticize it – which they have.
I do think there is at least one possible positive: at least the teen girls are hearing that staying a virgin is a viable option.
Where-as many secular feminists and liberals are always mocking virginity and celibacy, so that they make young girls (and even older women) feel as though they MUST have sex or there is something wrong with them if they are not having sex, or if they don’t want to have sex.
Contrary to what ths Henning guy says, it’s not true that men have higher sex drives than women or are more visually stimulated than women, so Henning can drop that from his materials. God did not “wire men to be more sexual” than women. (I’ve done other blog posts on those topics before, so I’m not going to get into that here.)
It’s not a girl or woman’s responsibility to dress in such a way that a boy or man does not feel aroused, as Henning claims. Each boy and man is capable of controlling himself, regardless of how a girl or woman is dressed. Christians: stop making females responsible for the sexual sins and failings of males – even the Bible does not do this.
Oct 20, 2016
by Mike Allen
Payson High School in Arizona recently required girls to attend an assembly about sexual abstinence, while the boys were given the option to attend, or not attend, an assembly on dating.
Brad Henning, a Christian guest speaker who was the star of both assemblies, travels across the country to high schools with his “Don’t Take Love Lying Down” presentation on relationships, notes the Payson Roundup.
Henning speaks to male and female students on one day, and on a second day, the students are split up by sex in separate assemblies so that they can ask questions.
..During the girls’ assembly, Henning reportedly told the females not to arouse a male by dressing or acting in a way that unleashes his God-given sexual urges.
Henning said that males are more sexual so that the human species does not go extinct, while females have a lower sex drive to prevent overpopulation, notes the Payson Roundup.
According to Henning’s website, his educational background is a Bachelor of Arts degree from Seattle Pacific College.
The newspaper reports that Henning said girls who think they are not attractive enough will wear sexy clothing to attract boys who cannot control their sexual urges, so girls are required to help boys control their actions by not wearing sexy clothing or behaving in a way that asks for sex.
The Payson Roundup notes: “At no point did Henning admonish the boys to take responsibility or to avoid taking advantage of a girl, no matter what she’s wearing.”
Linda Fairstein, a prosecutor in New York City for over 30 years, told CNN’s Carol Costello in 2014: “Sexual assault is the only crime in the book where the offender repeatedly blames the victim. I’ve … had men who attacked 5-year-old girls who’ve said, ‘She climbed on my lap and she was very sexy and I thought she was inviting me to touch her.'”
[Dating advice by Henning]: BOYS: Girls love it when you try and kidnap them! Honestly, it makes for a Very Fun Date — just try it!
Henning’s website is full of these little nuggets of dating wisdom for boys, such as (Link): “kidnapping” your date and taking her to breakfast, or to watch the sunrise.
I know I’m always down for a rousing date of “make me fear for my life!”
A pair of assemblies at Payson High School on sex and relationships earned mixed reactions from students and adults for including a segment in which girls were required to miss class to attend a girls-only portion, but boys were given the choice whether to attend an after-school option.
The presenter, Brad Henning, has also drawn attention for the segregated sessions, in which he talked to girls about respecting themselves and how they should dress and act, while only giving boys advice on how to get a date.
His presentations on Sept. 27 and 28 were about building positive relationships through abstinence, self-respect and learning to recognize real love.
… Many parents and community members said the assemblies were sexist and perpetuated rape culture.
Some students said it was old-fashioned but defended the experience as helpful and non-controversial.
…Henning has worked with students for 30 years and left his job at Christian ministry Young Life in 1994 to start the non-profit Life Resources for his presentations.
… Henning’s website has a long list of what he says are gender differences, such as “about 60% of what comes out of a little boy’s mouth is noise” but “almost 100% of what comes out of a little girl’s mouth is communication.”
Students said his presentation did not mention sexism and its possible effects on any gender differences. They also said he did not mention religion, although his website regularly mentions God.
For example, in the “For Girls Only” section of his website he wrote that God gave men strong sex drives in order to assure the continuation of the human species but made women less sexual because otherwise “we’d never get anything done.”
Because women only will have sex with men who are committed and responsible, men are “forced to grow up,” he wrote, so “the girls who give sex to their boyfriends outside of marriage are undermining the maturing process guys need so badly.”
…But Henning did not blame or shame girls or put the responsibility on them; he just offered advice, she said. She also clarified that it is not the only sex education students receive.
“It wasn’t, ‘If you wear tank tops, you’re asking for it.’ It was, ‘If you are expecting respect, you should probably practice it as well,’” Long said.
(Link): AZ School Sends Girls to Mandatory Christian Abstinence Assembly, Boys to Voluntary Dating Seminar – Friendly Atheist blog
By Ray Stern, Oct 17, 2016
Officials at Payson High School in Gila County say they have some regrets about requiring female students to attend an assembly last month that featured a guest speaker who espoused abstinence.
Taxpayers may have some regrets, too: The Payson Unified School District used taxpayer money to pay for the abstinence oration.
To some, guest speaker Brad Henning’s abstinence message sounded like “slut shaming.”
According to a story published in the Payson Roundup, Henning told 350 girls at the mandatory assembly on September 28 that girls “should make sure they do not turn on a guy by dressing or acting in a way that unleashes a guy’s God-given sexual urges,” adding that girls “have a low sex drive so the planet will not get overpopulated.”
Later, in an after-school session to which the boys were invited but not required to attend, Roundup reporter Michele Nelson writes that “Henning had suggestions for the boys on how to ask a girl out, what to do on a date, what to talk about on a date, and how to get a second date with a girl.
“At no point did Henning admonish the boys to take responsibility or to avoid taking advantage of a girl, no matter what she’s wearing.”
Nelson’s October 4 story, which raised the issue of whether Henning’s message was appropriate at a time when sexual assault is part of the national discussion, exploded across social media. Some bashed Henning and the school district, while others defended the presentation.
In fact, Henning has been a thorn in the sides of liberals, feminists, the LGBT community, and secular groups for years. Rants and articles critical of his (Link): “outdated” message are easily found on the Internet.
Three years ago, his scheduled appearance at a Washington high school’s mandatory assembly was met with one internet campaign informing students about some of Henning’s (Link): eyebrow-raising statements and how they could (Link): opt out of the talk and another demanding that the school cancel the presentation on the grounds that by excluding the LGBT community, the assembly violated the school district’s discrimination policy.
….Henning’s presentations, which he offers in videos and in live appearances around the nation, are entertaining and full of graphic talk about sex that both interests and titillates young teens. But they’re also based on Henning’s religious, unscientific, and often eyebrow-raising notions about sex, psychology, and the differences between men and women.
On his (Link): website, Henning elaborates: “[God] had to make the desire for sex so pleasurable that most guys would do just about anything to have sex, baby or no baby …,” he writes in the “For Girls Only” section under the question, “Why are guys so horny?”
If everyone had “the same sexual intensity as most women” do, he writes, “we’d die out in one generation.”
His theory that guys want a “fair maiden” and not the “town slut,” covered in another answer, spurred writer and yoga instructor Jen Pastiloff to make a (Link): YouTube video about him, entitled, “I’m pissed off!! This is NOT OKAY!!! No slut-shaming!”
hat tip for story: I have seen this story on so many different sites lately, I’m not sure where I first saw it – possibly Stuff Christian Culture Likes Facebook group.
(Link): The Myth of Safe Sex by D. Foley
(Link): Secular, Left Wing Feminist Writer Marcotte on Anyone Choosing To Be a Virgin Until Marriage: “It’s a Silly Idea” – What Progressive Christians, Conservative Christians, Non Christians, and Salon’s Amanda Marcotte Gets Wrong About Christian Views
(Link): Male Modesty and Male Shaming