Is the One True Love Biblical? On Hope, Choice and Responsibility by C. Woolgar
(Link): Is the One True Love Biblical? On Hope, Choice and Responsibility
I was recently asked if the idea of ‘the One’ was biblical and I decided to blog about it as I think it’s essentially a question about how romance relates to hope.
...So: is the idea of ‘the One’ consistent with the Bible?
I’m going to say more no than yes.
It’s not that God never does bring ‘the One’ into a Christian’s life (he does), but specifically expecting that God will do this makes too many assumptions about life and how God works. And it encourages too many unhelpful behaviours.
Saying everyone has to have a ‘One’ implies there is no fullness of life without romance and sex
But it’s just not true.
Saying that a person hasn’t lived if they haven’t had romance is like saying an actor can’t act unless he can play a romantic lead.
…Neither sex nor romance nor marriage nor children is necessary for a person to count themselves blessed or a blessing to others.
There are numerous passages in the Bible which affirm people who are childless (Isaiah 54:1, for example). Plus, many of the stories about women who miraculously bore children are less about fertility than they are about hope for the future and social inclusion. It’s not a stretch to say these passages also affirm people who have never married.
…It crushes hope to believe God’s plan must involve romance
Fullness of life (in both this life and the next) is one the hopes of the Christian faith. However, one of the curious things about hope is that when a person starts anchoring it in a specific idea – like the idea that their fullness of life (in this life) will include romance – it turns bitter. This can drive people to more and more extreme measures or even despair if their wish fails to materialise and their future collapses.
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(Link): Husband-Hunting is the Worst Part of a Christian Upbringing – Christianity Made Me Obsessed with Finding a Husband – by B. Ramos
(Link): The Right One – Do Unmarried Christians Only Need Jesus in Common to Marry ?
(Link): Salvation By Marriage Alone – The Over Emphasis Upon Marriage by Conservative Christians Evangelicals Southern Baptists
(Link): The best age to marry is when you meet the right person – editorial responding to study that says if you marry past 30 your marriage is doomed
(Link): Christian Blogger About Divorce, Pastor Andrew Webb, Thinks All To Most Mid-Life Never – Married or Single – Again Adults Are Mal-Adjusted, Ugly Losers Who Have Too Much Baggage
(Link): The Holy Spirit Sanctifies a Person Not A Spouse – Weekly Christian Marriage Advice Column Pokes Holes in Christian Stereotype that Marriage Automatically Sanctifies People
(Link): Single Adult Christian Pressured Into Marriage by Her Church – And Regrets It
(Link): The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single
(Link): “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” – one of the most excellent Christian rebuttals I have seen against the Christian idolatry of marriage and natalism, and in support of adult singleness and celibacy – from CBE’s site
(Link): 34 Year Old Single Woman Harassed by Relatives at Wedding Over Why She Is Not Married Yet Asks How To Get Them to STFU About Her Singleness
(Link): Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal
(Link): Research: Being Single [or Fear of Being Single] is a Meaningful Predictor of Settling for Less in Relationships
(Link): Typical Incorrect Conservative Christian Assumption: If you want marriage bad enough, Mr. Right will magically appear
(Link): A Response by Colon to Regnerus Re: Misguided Early Marriage Propaganda
(Link): How Christians Have Failed on Teaching Maturity and Morality Vis A Vis Marriage / Parenthood – Used as Markers of Maturity Or Assumed to be Sanctifiers
(Link): According to Pastor ( Jimmy Evans ) It Takes One Man and Woman Married To Equal A Whole – so where does that leave Christian singles ? / Too Much Sex Talk
(Lies): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)
(Link): The Nauseating Push by Evangelicals for Early Marriage