Woman Says Her Formerly (Supposed) Womanizing Husband Claims He’s Not Interested in Having Sex With Her (Ask Amy)
This is a Nov. 2016 letter from a married woman to advice columnist “Ask Amy.”
The woman’s husband was quite the horn dog prior to meeting her, or so he says. The husband claims he slept around a lot, prior to them marrying.
I would avoid a guy like this like the plague, but this woman actually found it “touching” or sweet when the guy told her out of the bazillions of women he’s slept with before, she seems special to him – so she married him (sounds like a cheap line a player would use to me, but I digress).
Anyway. The woman is now writing Amy to say their marriage has turned sexless.
I suspect that the guy is probably having affairs with other women, which is one possibility Amy tosses out.
Regardless of his motivations, it remains that this woman is in a sexless marriage.
I never heard things like this from Christians when I was a kid, teen, or older.
All I ever heard growing up was the propaganda that if a woman remains a virgin until marriage, that the married sex will be Fantastic! Roof shattering! Frequent! Always satisfying! Great!
Well apparently, married sex is not what it’s cracked up to be. If you marry, your husband may have so much extra-marital sex with other women, he won’t be interested in having sex with you any longer. Or, the husband may be under so much job stress he won’t want to have sex. Or, he might have depression, which can sap a person’s libido.
There could be any number of reasons why a spouse won’t “put out” in a marriage any more, which will leave you, the other half, sex-less. I seldom see Christians admit that this is a thing, that it happens to couples, which I feel is dishonest of them.
Being married is not – contrary to a lot of conservative Christian propaganda – a guarantee of receiving hot, regular, great sex.
You can read the woman’s letter here:
Dear Amy: I fell madly in love with a wonderful, kind man. He told me that he had been with 30-plus women in his 55-plus years, primarily for sex.
When he told me he really loved me and had never truly felt this way before about any other woman, it won me over, and now we are married.
I am seven years younger than he is and had been divorced for about 15 years. My issue is that now my husband is not interested in having sex with me at all.
He states that he has already had that and now he just wants love.
I have cried, talked and asked for counseling, to no avail. I am ready to walk away. I feel ugly and undesirable.
He has promised to make changes, but in 10 months nothing has changed.
I love him deeply, but my heart is telling me that this is now becoming toxic.
I don’t understand how he can have sex with so many women he didn’t love, but not with the woman he loves.
Do you have any guidance?
— Feeling Abandoned
Your husband is not a “wonderful, kind” man. He’s a user and a sexist pig, lady. A wonderful, kind man does not sexually use woman or sleep around to the point he’s bagged 30 plus women over his life. You married a dud.
And by the way, if the guy is saying he will make changes, but ten months later, none have been made, that is your two by four over the head: the man has NO INTENTION of changing. Leave now. Stop wasting your time on this guy. Divorce. Learn to be happy being single.