Newlyweds Forced to Be Celibate After Bride Diagnosed With Cervical Cancer Just Days After Honeymoon

Newlyweds Forced to Be Celibate After Bride Diagnosed With Cervical Cancer Just Days After Honeymoon

I hope this woman’s health recovers. (The link to the news story about this woman and her husband is much farther below. I wanted to make a few observations first.)

Growing up, I often heard or read Christians say that if one remains a virgin until marriage, that the married sex will be regular and great – I never once heard Christians discuss the possibility of a sexless marriage, where at least one partner does not want to have sex, or cannot (due to health problems, job stress, or what have you).

A lot of people, Christians certainly included, mistakenly think that sexual sin is the province ONLY of adult singles.

Therefore, Christian sermons and materials rarely discuss the possibility that married persons may have affairs, use prostitutes or pornography. Christians tend to teach that sexual purity (including chastity and celibacy) are only for adult singles, even though the Bible teaches that sexual purity is also expected of married persons.

Many Christians are in error to assume that the “marry if you don’t want to burn in lust” verse, as written by Paul, should be translated to mean, “Married persons will never commit sexual sins once they marry.”

The only sexual sin marriage takes care of is pre-marital sex.

Obviously, if two people marry and have sex with each other after marriage, their sex is not fornication (pre-marital sex). However, I have example after example on my blog (especially in the “sex sins by married couples one stop thread”) of married couples who use porn, hire call girls, molest kids, have affairs, etc.

There is nothing intrinsic about being married that makes sexual sin impossible.

A married man may still view porn, rape little kids, or have affairs on his wife. Being married is not a fail-safe or guarantee measure of sexual purity, but many Christians continue to act as though it is.

Sexual sin is therefore generally associated by many Christians with ADULT SINGLENESS (with the state of being single), so that single women (such as myself) are ostracized by the Christian community  (often under the Billy Graham Rule) as being “sexual temptresses,” although we are still virgins over the age of 35.

I, as a virgin adult woman, am ostracized and penalized by other Christians for something I have not even done (ie, had sex with a married man) – Christians just assume because I am single and female that I will want to lure a married man into bed. It is a very offensive view point that is common in churches and among Christians.

(Link): These newlyweds were forced to be celibate after bride was diagnosed with cervical cancer just days after honeymoon

Kayleigh, 29, and her husband Rory Spillman, 28, married in August last year, at a countryside manor in Hertfordshire, before jetting off to the beautiful Bora Bora to celebrate.

However, just five days after returning to the UK, the pair, who met at university 10 years ago, received the devastating news that school teacher Kayleigh had cervical cancer.

For the past three months the newlywed couple has been forced to be celibate while Kayleigh recovers from the radical trachelectomy to remove her cervix.

‘What should have been the best months of our lives have been some of the worst,’ Kayleigh said.

…According to Kayleigh, the shock diagnosis came after a visit to her GP for a routine smear test in July last year. She was given the all clear at her first test three years prior, so she wasn’t worried. However, polyps were found during this test – though she was so busy with her wedding that she didn’t stop to think about it.

… But when the honeymoon came to an end and Kayleigh landed back at Heathrow airport, her phone was full of voicemails from the hospital, asking her to bring her appointment forward.

Five days later she returned to Hertford County Hospital, where she was told she had 1B1 cervical cancer, with an 11mm by 4mm tumour.

She would need a radical trachelectomy to remove her cervix, as well as more surgery to remove her lymph nodes.

‘I was absolutely devastated’, Kayleigh said. ‘I couldn’t believe that just five days after getting back from our honeymoon, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer.

‘To say it was a shock would be an understatement. I hadn’t had any symptoms and me and Rory had our whole lives ahead of us.’

The operation to remove Kayleigh’s cervix took seven hours.

Thankfully, she doesn’t need chemotherapy or radiotherapy, but the operation has been a strain on Kayleigh and Rory’s relationship – as the newly married couple were told they could not have sex for three months after the surgery.

After three months Kayleigh will visit the hospital again, where she and Rory are hoping they will be given the green light to become intimate once more.

‘We’re newlyweds, but we haven’t been able to have sex. We were told to wait. When we can have sex again, we’ve been told it could be painful,’ she said.

‘Hopefully, it will all be fine, as three months is a long time to wait when you’re just married.’


Related Posts:

(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Lifelong Celibacy as an Option for All Instead of Merely Pressuring All to Marry – vis a vis Sexless Marriages, Counselors Who Tell Marrieds that Having Affairs Can Help their Marriages

(Link): Man with Down’s Syndrome Wins Compensation After Being Banned From Having Sex With Wife

(Link): Grieving for My Sex Life After My Husband Died by A. Radosh

(Link):  Christians Overly Fond of the BGR / How I Learned to Stop Worrying About the Billy Graham Rule and Love Like Jesus by T. Grigg

(Link):  Perverted Christian Married Couple Wants to “Wife Swap” (For Sex) With Other Christian Couple – Why Christians Need to Uphold Chastity / Celibacy For All People Even Married Couples Not Just Teens

(Link):  Elderly Widower Dude is a Slut Says Adult Daughter – Why Churches Need to Teach Celibacy Applies to Even Married People Not Just Under Age 25 Singles

(Link):   The married virgin ‘repulsed’ by sex who encourages her ‘perfect’ husband to sleep with escorts while helping him to find a live-in lover

(Link):  Married Woman Rationalizes Her Extra-Martial Affairs – Selfishness, Thy Name is Married People

(Link):  You May Be Surprised How Many Born-Again Christians Use Ashley Madison (web site for married cheaters); story from Huffington Post

(Link): AARP post: How to Handle a Sexless Married Life – But Christians Promise You Great Hot Regular Married Sex

(Link):  Relationships Of Welcome, Not Fear (Re: How Sexist Christian Views Marginalize and Isolate Adult, Single Women and Maintain Other Stereotypes About Adult Singles)

(Link):  Patriarchy tends to sexualize all male / female relationships (article via Junia Project blog)

(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Lifelong Celibacy as an Option for All Instead of Merely Pressuring All to Marry – vis a vis Sexless Marriages, Counselors Who Tell Marrieds that Having Affairs Can Help their Marriages

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s