Jaded, Bitter, Entitled Sam The Single Man Claims that All Women Who Say “They Aren’t That Kind of Girl” Are Liars
The guy who wrote this letter to ‘Ask Amy’ sounds like a bitter, cynical, entitled sexist ass-hat.
I for one “am not that kind of girl.” Women such as me do in fact exist. If you date me, and I turn down sex on the basis of, “I’m not that kind of girl,” I am speaking the truth.
I am over the age of 40 and still a virgin. Even though now my views on sex have relaxed, and I’d be willing to have sex prior to marriage, but not on a first date, or even a second date, but only within the context of a steady, committed relationship.
So yes, to you assh*le who wrote this letter to Ask Amy, “Sam,” some women are in fact “not that kind of girl” and do not have sex with a man they’ve just met.
I think you don’t want a steady relationship but a one-night stand, in which case, stop using dating sites like eHarmony, Yahoo Personals, or Match and stick with “Booty Call .com” or “Tindr,” which are designed specifically for casual sex, you idiot.
When two people first meet and the guy wants to have sex, why is it that many women say, “I am not that kind of girl, and I need to get to know you better“?
That is actually a big lie that women tell. After all, if the guy who wanted to have sex with them was George Clooney, it’s unthinkable that they would say, “I’m not that kind of girl.”
Every woman is “that kind of girl” with a select few men under the right circumstances.
Why can’t they just say: “I have enjoyed our evening, and, although I appreciate your sexual attraction toward me, I do not feel the same way; however, I wish you well in your future endeavors.”
What is wrong with saying something as honest and as heartfelt as that?
I call women on this all the time on dates, and they are speechless, because they know I have caught them in a lie. Suffice to say, I have no interest in a second date, and I move on.
– Sam from Los Angeles
If you approached this with more respectful humility and less angry swagger, you might — just possibly — get lucky. Maybe that’s how George Clooney does it.
You are probably correct that when women tell you “I’m not that kind of girl,” they are being disingenuous. They are politely trying to let you off the hook by giving you a version of, “It’s not you, it’s me.” You respond to this politeness by aggressively calling them out, immediately letting these women know they made the right choice. Whew!
And, by the way, many women are in fact “not those kinds of girls.” These are people who wait to know someone before they become sexually intimate. This wisdom protects them from complicated encounters with people like you.
You, Sam, sound like a bitter little troll who is just butt-hurt that women don’t find you attractive or nice enough to have sex with on a first date. Get over it, loser.
And some of those women may in fact be reluctant to have sex on a first date with ANY man, even with actor George Clooney, so go suck a rock, you entitled, arrogant, weird little sexist, entitled creep.
Here were a few decent comments people left under that letter on the page:
This is for “Sam from Los Angeles”. Women are saying they want to get to know you better. Some women may be attracted to you immediately, but would still like to get to know you better before having sex.
For some women it actually takes time to figure out whether or not they are attracted to a guy, and getting to know a person is the process they use to make this determination.
The process can be gradual for some women, and is not always immediate (depending on the person). A woman may NOT want to write you off at the end of the first date, but may instead want to see you a few times to figure out if the mix of interests/attraction, etc., is something she wants to pursue and open up to a sexual relationship.
It used to be people dated several times before hopping into bed together. Once upon a time this was a given. Most folks didn’t sleep w/ someone after the first date.
As it happens, for many women, sex is not as “on demand” as it is for men.
My suggestion is if YOU only want to sleep with women after you’ve met them once, why don’t YOU be honest with the person and tell her that up front before going out?
It would limit the wasted evenings you seem to have spent thinking there will be a sexual payoff at the end of the night. I’m sure there must be dating sites for sexual hook-ups and nothing else. Why not concentrate on them and leave the sites where people are interested in relationships alone until you are ready for that?
By Anon in response to Julee
You were dead on, but way nicer to this jerk than I would have been. How dare he expect a strange woman to have sex with him and then decide she’s a liar when she says she’s not that kind of girl?! I absolutely agree that these women made the right decision!
Sam, stop going on dates, and start paying prostitutes . That’s what you actually want.
Uh, Sam? Your attitude towards women is what is keeping you from getting any, sorry to say. No, most women are NOT lying when they tell you that.
I bet you also think “no” means “yes,” don’t you?
I doubt you have to worry about second dates, since all you are after is the one-nighter anyway. You are the kind of guy women avoid after one encounter.
by Kelly H