Kind of Bad Analogy by Christian Marriage Guru Mark Gungor
Mark Gungor used to have his own Christian TV show where he dispenses advice to Christian married couples. He has also been a guest on TBN’s “Praise the Lord” show (which they have since renamed to “Praise” as of Jan or Feb 2017).
Anyway. I saw a repeat of a Gungor marriage show several months ago.
He was taking letters from the audience.
I don’t remember the exact nature of the complaint or question in one letter.
Some lady (or it may have been a guy) wrote in to say she was married but felt like the love had died in her marriage. She didn’t feel attracted to her partner anymore. Marriage felt lackluster, dull, and so on. She was wanting to know if divorce would be acceptable in such a marriage scenario.
Gungor basically told her no, it would not be okay to divorce her husband just because she didn’t feel like being married to him any longer.
He compared this to a job. He said, “What would happen if you slept in tomorrow, on a work day, and just called up your boss and said, “I don’t feel like coming in today.”
He was saying, that is not an option – you would be chewed out, demoted, or fired.
Gungor was trying to apply this rationale to marriage. He was saying marriage is not just acting on feeling, but being committed – doing nice stuff and staying with your partner out of obligation.
To a point, I might agree with this sort of thinking, depending on what type of marital problem is under discussion, but I found his analogy “off.”
It is true if you called your boss tomorrow and said you just want to stay in bed watching TV all day your boss would scream at you and possibly fire you, true. Your boss expects you to show up whether you “feel” like being at work or not. True.
However. Even in the world of work, if you hate your job and no longer feel like working there – maybe you find your projects or the environment dull or the co-workers annoying – you can secretly hunt for a job behind your boss’s back.
You can try to get hired at another company.
You don’t have to stay at the same job that is making you miserable, provided there are opportunities in your area, the economy is going okay, and so on.
If you are tired of your current husband, or bored by him, you can divorce him and date around and find one who is more to your liking. That possibility exists, too.
I’m not sure Gungor’s job analogy was a good fit for the marriage problem letter he received and was addressing.
(Link): The Mark Gungor and Sheila Gregoire Dust Up, vis a vis SSB Blog – I’ve blogged about Gungor for Years