Past Sin Does Not Make You A Better Spiritual Leader by P Cooke
I’d say that this guy’s claim for pastoral sin in general is also very true for sexual sin in particular – sexual sin by anyone and everyone, that is, and not just pastoral sexual sin.
As I’ve blogged about before, rather than hiring celibate or virgin adults to give discussions or lectures about virginity and sexuality to teen-agers or in churches, most Christians oddly opt to get a known fornicator who claims to be a “born again” celibate to offer lectures, sermons, and to be guest speakers.
The assumption by Christians seems to be that if an adult has fornicated and now claims to be celibate that he or she is more qualified or more relatable to people than a virgin adult who is past the age of 25.
This seems like backwards thinking to me: you should want to hear from the man or woman who is over the age of 25 who has maintained their virginity and walked the walk, not the guy or woman who failed at it, who had sex prior to marriage but who now claims to be celibate.
Contrary to what many Christians and Non-Christians think, controlling one’s libido over a lifetime, and hence remaining a virgin into one’s 30s, 40s, or older, is not a heroic or an impossible task.
(Link): Past Sin Does Not Make You A Better Spiritual Leader by P Cooke
In many cases I’ve encountered, that shortcut comes from the idea that because they’ve [preachers have] morally fallen in a particular way, they’re now more sensitive and understanding to those in the congregation who have experienced something similar.
As a result, it’s not long before they start another church down the street, begin a church consulting practice, go on radio or TV, or launch their own ministry – all without taking the far more difficult route of submission to other leaders, counseling, and eventual restoration.
Over the years, I’ve talked with numerous pastors and ministry leaders who refuse counseling, accountability, or any other kind of help because they believe their sin has actually made them a better pastor or leader.
…I applaud ministry leaders who have fallen and then done the hard work of repentance, submission to others, working working through the problem, and winning back trust. But never fall for the deception that your past sin makes you more effective as a Christian leader. Certainly if you’ve been through the restoration process, that past experience gives you insight to draw from. But as Lewis said,
(( click here to read the rest ))
I think that Cooke’s blog post is pertinent and applicable to how many churches and Christians deal with singleness, sexual sin, celibacy, and virginity.
(Link): How About Using Celibates as Role Models For Celibacy? (Oddity: Christians Holding Up Non-Virgins [Fornicators] As Being Experts or Positive Examples on Sexual Purity)
(Link): Christian Preacher Admits He Won’t Preach About Sexuality For Fear It May Offend Sexual Sinners
(Link): Christians Who Attack Virginity Celibacy and Sexual Purity – and specifically Russell D. Moore and James M. Kushiner
(Link): Some Atheists Are Just As Ignorant About Adult Singleness and Celibacy as Progressive Christians, Secular Feminists, and Protestant Evangelical or Conservative Christians
(Link): No, Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity (they attack both concepts)
(Link): Salon Author Amanda Marcotte Thinks Media Shouldn’t Judge Women’s Sexuality But She Has Mocked Women Over Their Sexual Choices Before (To Remain Virgins)
(Link): Secular, Left Wing Feminist Writer Marcotte on Anyone Choosing To Be a Virgin Until Marriage: “It’s a Silly Idea” – What Progressive Christians, Conservative Christians, Non Christians, and Salon’s Amanda
(Link): CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)
(Link): The Christian and Non Christian Phenomenon of Virgin Shaming and Celibate Shaming
(Link): An Example of Mocking Adult Virginity Via Twitter (Virginity Used As Insult)
(Link): I Notice It’s the Fornicators Who Want to Ignore or Downplay the Bible’s Teaching that People Are To Stay Virgins Until Marriage
(Link): Virginity Lost, Experience Gained (article with information from study about virginity)
(Link): Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re Celibacy
(Link): Male Entitlement and Adult Virginity: Who has it worse, Male Vs. Female? (critique of post at other blog)
(Link): On ‘Late’-In-Life Virginity Loss (from The Atlantic)
(Link): Churches Would Rather Hear From Ex Porn Stars Than Adult Celibates or Virgins – Church Invites Ex Porn Star to be Guest Speaker
(Link): When Adult Virginity and Adult Celibacy Are Viewed As Inconvenient or As Impediments
(Link): Some Researchers Argue that Shame Should Be Used to Treat Sexual Compulsions
(Link): Secular, Left Wing Feminist Writer Marcotte on Anyone Choosing To Be a Virgin Until Marriage: “It’s a Silly Idea” – What Progressive Christians, Conservative Christians, Non Christians, and Salon’s Amanda Marcotte Gets Wrong About Christian Views on Virginity
(Link): I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse To Be A Virgin – (Secular Editorial Defends Virginity – More Rare Than a Unicorn Sighting)
(Link): Anti Virginity Editorial by Christian Blogger Tim Challies – Do Hurt / Shame Feelings or Sexual Abuse Mean Christians Should Cease Supporting Virginity or Teaching About Sexual Purity
(Link): “Jesus Didn’t Die to Save My Hymen” Declares An Anti-Sexual Purity Advocate – My Response
(Link): Slut Shaming and Virgin Shaming and Secular and Christian Culture – Dirty Water / Used Chewing Gum and the CDC’s Warnings – I guess the CDC is a bunch of slut shamers ?
(Link): Preacher: ‘They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Hot SEX Lives’ – and once more, never-married celibate adults and their experiences, wisdom, and input are ignored
(Link): Interviews With Various Adult Celibates
(Link): Virgins and Celibates are Sexual – Not Asexual and Androgynous – You don’t have to have sex to possess sexuality
(Link): Typical Erroneous Teaching About Adult Celibacy Rears Its Head Again: To Paraphrase Speaker at Ethics and Public Policy Center: Lifelong Celibacy is “heroic ethical standard that is not expected of heteros, so it should not be expected of homosexuals”
(Link): Living Myths About Virginity – article from The Atlantic
(Link): Article: Our Born-Again Virgin Bachelor – Secondary or Spiritual Virginity
(Link): “Even more bizarrely, Christianity held up lifelong celibacy as an even more exalted state of life” (editorial by P. Gobry)
(Link): Why Some People Become 30 Year Old Virgins (Article / Study)
(Link): Asexuality and Asexuals
(Link): Pat Robertson [Christian TV show host] says ‘Virginity Has Nothing To Do With Marriage’ and Says (Paraphrasing) ‘Virginity Was Fine For Mary But Not Applicable For Any Other Christians’
(Link): Editorialist at WaPo Argues That Single Christian Adults Can Have Sex So Long As They are Chaste About It – Also Speculates that Jesus Was “Probably” Celibate