‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ TV Show Scene Perfectly Sums Up What It’s Like To Be Single at 40+ When You Had Wanted to Be Married
I just re-watched a re-run I had forgotten about. It really resonated – maybe not so much at the time, when I was in my 20s when it first aired, but now that I’m in my 40s and still single, like the character in the skit is, I totally relate.
I will embed the scene below in this post, that someone posted on You Tube (I so hope the video is never pulled down. Sometimes, videos are removed due to copyright infringement claims.)
“Everybody Loves Raymond” is a television situation comedy show that started around 1996. I used to watch it every week and still remember the characters and one or two of the episodes.
This show takes place, starts out, in the late 1990s, before many Americans had the internet – dating sites were still a good ways away, and cell phones didn’t really catch on until around the year 2,000 or a bit later.
Even when dating sites first came out and caught on, many singles did not want to use them.
Even up to around 2005 or so, there was a stigma attached to dating sites. If you used one at that time, you didn’t really want anyone to know, because they might think you were desperate or a loser.
I started watching “Everyone Loves Raymond” again in re-runs about two weeks ago – it comes on some of the local cable channels. If you’re like I am – single over the age of 35 and had expected and wanted to marry – you might really relate to the embedded video in this post, too.
To set it up for you if you’re not familiar with the show:
The show is about a guy named Ray who is married to Debra. Ray’s parents, Frank and Marie, live across the street from Ray and Debra.
Ray’s older brother, Robert (a.k.a. “Robbie”), is a police officer who lives with his parents – the guy was married to a woman name Joanne(?), and if I remember correctly, she won the house in their divorce. Joanne dumped Robert for a guy Robert arrested.
For a long time, Robert was too broke and too depressed to live on his own, so he lived with his parents. Eventually, Robert meets Amy, and they get married. But for a good long time, Robert, who is in his early 40s, is single, can’t seem to meet the right woman, and hates being single.
A time or two, in different episodes, Robert mentions to Ray, when Ray comes over complaining about his life, that he’d give anything to switch places with Ray, as Ray is married with three kids, and Robert wants to be married with a family of his own.
In yet another episode, Robert has a date with a woman named Angela.
Ray and Debra invite Robert and Angela over for a dinner date. During dinner, Angela catches a fly, kills it, and leaves it on her napkin.
Debra, Robert, and Ray get up to go to the kitchen, leaving Angela alone at the dining table.
From the kitchen, Ray is shocked to see Angela eat the dead fly.
Yes, Angela EATS A DEAD FLY.
Ray tells Debra and Robert about seeing Angela eat the fly. Robert doubts him and thinks Ray is trying to sabotage his love life on purpose, so he and Angela head on over to Angela’s apartment.
While Angela goes off to the bathroom to change, she tells Robert to head to her bedroom – which he does, and sees that her room is filled with frog decor and living frogs in aquariums.
So, he realizes that Ray was right – his girlfriend (who he thought was perfect, and he was considering popping the question to) was a weirdo who eats flies.
Robert escapes by ducking out Angela’s window during a rain storm and shows up to Ray’s house wet from the rain.
A very discouraged Robert sits on the couch to tell his family – Ray, Debra, Frank, and Marie – what happened. He gives the saddest speech about being single.
He says he’s through with dating. He’s tired of trying and being disappointed and hurt and so on. He announces that he’s giving up on dating and finding a compatible woman.
His mother, Marie, thinks he must be single at 40 because he’s homosexual.
Robert says no he is not, but he says he’d rather be homosexual, because the truth is, nobody, no woman, wants him as he is.
You need to watch the video. When I was younger and saw this episode, I felt bad for him, but now, as someone who is in her 40s and in the same position, it’s ten times more meaningful.
I notice that within the show, that Robert thinks of himself as a Loser, and the actor who plays him, Brad Garrett, says (in (Link – You Tube): this interview) that the character thinks of himself as a loser and has accepted it. Awwwww.
Can I tell you, I find the character to be a decent guy – he may not make a lot of money, but other than his jealousy of his little brother Ray, he’s an okay guy (who has some seriously low self esteem), and I’d be happy to date a guy like Robert. He’s sweet and nice, which is what really counts.
(As for me, I may have my flaws, but eating dead -or even living- Flies is not one of them!)
My sister once made me date a guy (had to date him more than once) who had a lot of money and was very good-looking, but in my book, the well-to-do and good-looking guy was a LOSER because he was rude to me, he was condescending, and he was arrogant.
That guy may look good on paper, and he is supposed to be the kind of man all women are supposed to want, but he was awful. His good looks and money did not and could not make up for his poor treatment of me.
A Robert Barone character is a catch by comparison, in all seriousness.
Please see the links BELOW this embedded (I hope it embeds) video as well:
I so totally relate to this….
(that embedded video on You Tube (Link): Here)
If you’d like more context to that episode of Robert dating Angela the Fly Eater, please see:
(Link – You Tube): Everybody Loves Raymond “She is the one”
(Link – You Tube): Everybody Loves Raymond – The Fly
(Link – You Tube): Everybody Loves Raymond: She Ate A Fly!
In another episode, Robert tries dating some other woman that his father and brother thinks is really beautiful, but he doesn’t get along with her, so his family wonders if he’s homosexual:
(Link – You Tube): Everybody Loves Raymond: Are You A Homosexual?
Robert does eventually meet, date, and marry Amy:
I think this video shows how Robert first met Amy (the audio is wonky for some reason):
(Link – You Tube): Everybody Loves Raymond (1996) Season 1 Episode 14 – Robert Meets Amy
Or try this link:
(Link – You Tube): Everybody loves Raymond – How Robert and Amy met
(Link – You Tube): Everybody Loves Raymond – Robert Proposes To Amy
Note about the blog – I’m not sure if I will be blogging much here, from here on out.
I hate to sound cryptic, but if you believe in God, are a praying person, and I haven’t totally repelled you with my blog, my opinions, or my at-times grouchy personality, I would be grateful for prayers. I don’t really want to say why I am asking for prayer, but I have a few things going on in my life that have me concerned.
Even if I do stop by and make the occasional blog post in the future, I’d be grateful for any prayers, thank you in advance if you pray for me. (If there is a God, he doesn’t seem to be listening to my prayers. Maybe he would listen to someone else’s on my behalf?)
Related Posts:
(Link): Decent Secular Dating Advice: How to Pick Your Life Partner
(Link): More 40-Something Single Women Falling Prey to Dishonest or Violent Men in Dating (says report)
(Link): Depressing Testimony: “I Was A Stripper but Jesus Sent Me A Great Christian Husband”
(Link): I’m 45, Single And Childless. No, There’s Nothing ‘Wrong’ With Me. by M Notkin
(Link): Myths About Never Married Adults Over Age 40
(Link): The Stupid Advice We Give To Single Women Over 40 (from the Current Conscience Blog)
(Link): First Time Marriage for Man and Woman Both Over Age 40
(Link): Stop Telling Women Their Most Valuable Asset Is Their Youth (From Time)
(Link): Never-Married Men Over 40: Date-able or Debate-able?
(Link): Woman’s First Marriage at Age 40+
(Link): Article by J. Watts: The Scandal of Singleness
(Link): 40 Year Old Never Married Woman Asks Dear Abby Why She Keeps Attracting Abusive Men
(Link): The advantages to getting engaged at age 37, by Patricia Beauchamp
(Link): Stop putting pressure on women to have kids before they’re 30 by A Chandler
(Link): Sick of Being Single / Sick and Tired of Being Single Alone Unmarried
(Link): Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal
(Link): ‘Marriage Changes When You Don’t Just Need A Warm Body and a Paycheck’: A Talk With Rebecca Traister
(Link): Single Adult Christian Pressured Into Marriage by Her Church – And Regrets It
(Link): Fifteen Things You Shouldn’t Say or Do To Your Single Friends
(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)
(Link): The Christian and Non Christian Phenomenon of Virgin Shaming and Celibate Shaming
(Link): Family as “The” Backbone of Society? – It’s Not In The Bible
(Link): Is Singleness A Sin? by Camerin Courtney
(Link): Hey, Justice Kennedy: You don’t need to shame singles to uphold marriage by L. Bonos
(Link): You Will Be Ignored After Your Spouse Dies
(Link): Ageism Vs. Age Preferences and Creepy Older Men
(Link): Same Old Tired Advice to Christian Singles
(Link): Annoyances of Being a Christian Single (includes some of the usual cliches you get)
(Link): Responding to the Cliche’ “Jesus Is All You Need” – Re Christian Singles
(Link): The Obligatory, “Oh, but if you’re single you can still benefit from my marriage sermon” line
(Link): The Problem with Platitudes – for Christian single over 35 years old never married
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