Why is it So Hard For Women to Make New Friends? by G. Kovanis

Why is it So Hard For Women to Make New Friends? by G. Kovanis

(Link): Why is it So Hard For Women to Make New Friends?

Excerpts:

…It turns out, I’m not alone in feeling so alone.

“A lot of people have that feeling,”  says Irene S. Levine, a psychologist who writes about friendships…

It turns out, I’m not alone in feeling so alone.

“A lot of people have that feeling,”  says Irene S. Levine, a psychologist who writes about friendships…

…Says Shasta Nelson, founder of GirlFriendCircles.com, a women’s friendship matching site in 65 cities across the U.S. and Canada, and author of “Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness” (Seal Press, $14): “I believe we have an epidemic of unacknowledged loneliness.”

Especially, it seems, among women.

It’s like a dance

Friendships between women are complex. Whereas men are often content to play sports together or go out for beers, women tend to want deeper friendships. We want to be Mary and Rhoda. Or, maybe, Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda. “We want someone who understands us, women really want to have intense kinds of relationships with each other,” says Levine.

But finding candidates for those kinds of friendships can be difficult — especially as we get older. “In college, everybody’s doing the same thing at the same time. It’s much easier,” says Levine. But as we age, our interests and experiences become more diverse. Some people get married, others don’t. Some people have kids, others are childless. Some leave town, others stay put. Some get promoted at work or change jobs or work situations.

And all that creates distance, which creates loneliness.

…It’s also true, that I’ve ended some friendships and probably squandered some others and that I haven’t been especially proactive in finding new people. “Your need for friends kind of changes over time,” Levine said. “It’s not one constant craving, sometimes you’re busier with responsibilities for work, with family members, with care-giving. In the winter, you might be more content to hunker down.”

But it occurs to me that putting myself out there only to be rejected is what prevents me — and a great number of people — from being more aggressive in meeting potential new friends.


Related Posts:

(Link): Dear Abby: Teen Gets a Boyfriend, Snubs Her Old Pal 

(Link): Women Who Dump Women Friends As Soon As They Get A Spouse or Boyfriend (Letter to Advice Columnist)

(Link):  The Rise of Delayed Marriage and Female Friendship – article from The Atlantic

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