The Rise of The Born-Again Virgin
This is actually a rather old topic. I’ve discussed it in older posts such as (Link) this one.
I’m not a big fan of this “Born Again Virgin” terminology.
Regarding consensual sex (yes, I said consensual, because anti-Sexual Purity types always want to conflate or confuse consensual sex with sexual assault in order to dismiss the entire concept of sexual purity), either one is a virgin or is not.
If you’ve had consensual sex previously but are abstaining afterwards, I think the word “celibate” would be suitable and acceptable. You’re certainly not a “virgin” and so should not go by the “born again” term.
The Rise Of Born-Again Virgins by L. Barr
Miranda Kerr and Ciara aren’t alone – here’s why more women are skipping sex, pre-marriage.
…We’re not talking surgical reconstruction of the hymen here. Becoming a born again virgin isn’t a physical concept, it’s more a conscious decision to abstain from sex until you’re married. Essentially, it’s free virginity pass, even if you’ve already done the deed a plenty, or in Kerr’s case, had a child.
…Meanwhile back in 2008, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon also declared their abstinence. “We both have similar beliefs, and I just thought that it would be so much more special if we waited until after we were married,” said Carey at the time. She divorced Cannon in 2014. Plus sized, supermodel Ashley Graham says she’d “sowed her oats” so she decided to wait until after she married her husband, Justin Ervin. When US songstress Ciara, who has a son with the rapper Future, got together with now-husband and Seattle Seahawks Quarterback, Russell Wilson, he proudly told the world they had decided not to have sex before their marriage.
‘I’m happier not hooking up’
However, it is not just celebrities that are abstaining from physical intimacy. Jo, a 28-year-old single, retail manager from Melbourne, relates to their desire to wait.
She has put the breaks on all sexual relationships until she’s found a man whose willing to put a ring on it.
In a world of Tinder and casual hookups, she believes chastity is an underrated virtue. “I lost my virginity at 16 to a douche bag, in an indoor sports centre. It was a cold and unemotional experience. He dumped me the next day. I’ve had one relationship and more than a handful of hookups since. I have always struggled with intimacy. So, after one more disastrous sexual relationship that led nowhere, I decided that I was going to take my time and wait for some form of commitment before I jumped into bed. It’s essentially a sex detox to clean the negativity out of my system.”
While she admits her friends think it is an old-fashioned notion, Jo is adamant that waiting is the best option. “I’m happier now,” she says, despite the fact her newfound liberation from sex scares away prospective partners, “At least I know early on, whether they’re interested in me or my body.”
Melbourne sex therapist Chantelle Otten is seeing a host of clients, who’ve taken the same route (no pun intended). “People are taking the decision to reinvent their sexual selves. The reasons are entirely personal – whether it’s religious grounds, negative sexual patterns, sexual burnout from dating, wellness and spiritual journeys, or trying to be mindful about their choices. They want emotional intimacy before going down a sexual path.”
(Link): How About Using Celibates as Role Models For Celibacy? (Oddity: Christians Holding Up Non-Virgins [Fornicators] As Being Experts or Positive Examples on Sexual Purity)
(Link): Woman Says She Refuses to Hook-up with Men ‘For Fun’ – Says Most Men She’s Met Are Willing to Wait
(Link): She’s Waiting Until Marriage to Have Sex. Here’s Her Response to Those ‘Inevitable Jerks’ Who Think Her Decision Is ‘Stupid’ – by E. Kahn
(Link): No Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity – Christians Attack and Criticize Virginity Sexual Purity Celibacy / Virginity Sexual Purity Not An Idol
(Link): Ramifications of Pre Martial Sex – Sky Diver Husband; Also: Stereotypes About All Men Wanting Sex Constantly and Being Visually Stimulated Disproven Again
(Link): Article: Our Born-Again Virgin Bachelor – Secondary or Spiritual Virginity
(Link): “Jesus Didn’t Die to Save My Hymen” Declares An Anti-Sexual Purity Advocate – My Response
(Link): Bitter, Frustrated 22 Year Old Male Virgin and Member of Men’s Rights / PUA Groups Kills Several Women Because He Couldn’t Get Dates – what an entitled sexist doof
(Link): A Teen Boy Tried To Kill Three Women “In Revenge” Because He Was A Virgin – felt that women “were the weaker” breed
(Link): The Contemporary Church Undervalues Celibacy / Virginity
(Link): Living Myths About Virginity – article from The Atlantic
(Link): The Christian and Non Christian Phenomenon of Virgin Shaming and Celibate Shaming
(Link): WashPost Columnist: ‘Ghostbusters’ Haters Are ‘Virgin Losers’ – (via NewsBusters Site); Both the Right and Left Wing Get Some things Wrong About This
(Link): Fornication or Previous Marriages Can Negatively Impact Other Relationships Later – Another Example or Two (via Ask Amy, Hax)
(Link): Stop Pretending Sex Never Hurts, By D.C. McAllister
(Link): How Pre-Martial Sex Negatively Impacts People: The Incest Letter
(Link): Sometimes Shame Guilt and Hurt Feelings Over Sexual Sins Is a Good Thing – but – Emergents, Liberals Who Are Into Virgin and Celibate Shaming
(Link): Celebrity Deems Herself A Born Again Virgin And Vows to Stay Celibate “For A Year” – Oh Puh-leaze
(Link): Viral Virgin Brelyn Bowman Talks Purity Backlash From Christians, New Book ‘No Ring, No Ting’ (Interview)
(Link): CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)
(Link): Hypocrisy: Secular Pundits Judge Christian Sexuality: Josh Duggar’s So-Called Vanilla Sexual Preferences Deemed Dull
(Link): Christian Gender and Sex Stereotypes Act as Obstacles to Christian Singles Who Want to Get Married (Not All Men Are Obsessed with Sex)
(Link): Some Atheists Are Just As Ignorant About Adult Singleness and Celibacy as Progressive Christians, Secular Feminists, and Protestant Evangelical or Conservative Christians
(Link): When Adult Virginity and Adult Celibacy Are Viewed As Inconvenient or As Impediments
(Link): I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse To Be A Virgin – (Secular Editorial Defends Virginity – More Rare Than a Unicorn Sighting)
(Link): An Example of Mocking Adult Virginity Via Twitter (Virginity Used As Insult)
(Link): Celibate Shaming from an Anti- Slut Shaming Secular Feminist Site (Hypocrisy) Feminists Do Not Support All Choices
(Link): “‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ [Book] Told Me to Stay Pure Until Marriage. I Still Have a Stain on My Heart” – Regarding: Dating Book by Author Josh Harris (with other related links about the IKDG book) and Criticizing “Purity Culture”
(Link): Marcotte on Anyone Choosing To Be a Virgin Until Marriage: “It’s a Silly Idea” – What Progressive Christians, Conservative Christians, Non Christians, and Salon’s Amanda Marcotte Gets Wrong About Christian Views on Virginity
(Link): Are You Ashamed of Biblical [Sexual] Purity? by J. Slattery
(Link): Preacher Mark Driscoll Disparages Virgins and Virginity (Again) – The Feelings of Fornicators Always Take Precedence With the Anti-Purity Culture, Anti-Slut- Shaming, and Pro- Cheap Grace Crowd
(Link): Slut Shaming and Virgin Shaming and Secular and Christian Culture – Dirty Water / Used Chewing Gum and the CDC’s Warnings – I guess the CDC is a bunch of slut shamers ?
(Link): Salon Author Amanda Marcotte Thinks Media Shouldn’t Judge Women’s Sexuality But She Has Mocked Women Over Their Sexual Choices Before (To Remain Virgins)
(Link): Self Control – everyone has it, is capable of it, but most choose not to use it (New Study Says Conservatives Have Better Self Control Than Liberals)
(Link): Can someone really be a ‘born-again virgin?’ by L. Borreli
(Link): Churches Would Rather Hear From Ex Porn Stars Than Adult Celibates or Virgins – Church Invites Ex Porn Star to be Guest Speaker
(Link): Virginity is a Sacred Choice, Not a Shameful Status by C. Martin / Giving Sex to a Man is Not A Guarantee for a Lasting Relationship – Contra Comic Chelsea Handler
(Link): Secular Liberal Author Doesn’t Think A Woman Choosing to Be Celibate is A Form of Feminism – Especially if Motivated in Part by Religious Convictions
(Link): Christians Who Attack Virginity Celibacy and Sexual Purity – and specifically Russell D. Moore and James M. Kushiner
(Link): Past Sin Does Not Make You A Better Spiritual Leader by P Cooke
(Link): Sex Regarded as Passage Into Adulthood
(Link): Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re: Celibacy
(Link): A Grown-Up, Not Sexed-Up, View of Womanhood (article) – how Christian teachings on gender and singlehood contribute to raunch culture and fornication etc
(Link): Slut-Shaming Is Bad—But The Overreaction Against It Also Hurts Women by J. Doverspike
(Link): Thirty Year Old Woman Kills Herself Due to Being Single and Childless – Churches contribute to this by either Ignoring adult singles or shaming them for being single and childless