So, Which Is Harder, Marriage or Singleness? (via Relevant magazine)

So, Which Is Harder, Marriage or Singleness? (via Relevant magazine)

The author comes down more on the side of singleness- she believes that singles have life a bit more difficult in the overall scheme of things, since they have to do everything alone.

Some of the comments by the singles in the comments section below are annoying. Some of them are the sort who were single until the age of 29, so they’re like, “Hey man, I know how tough it is to be single, I didn’t marry ’til age 29.”

I’m like, shut up. I’m in my 40s and have never married, my dear. Being still single at age 40+ is not the same as getting married off once you hit age 29, 30 or 35.

Just because you didn’t marry until you were 29 doesn’t make you an expert on what extended singleness is like.

People who marry by their mid-30s who act as though they know how hard or frustrating it is to still be single at 40+ annoy me to no end, and they piss me off.

Then you have your adult singles in the comments on the ‘Relevant’ magazine page whining things like, “Aw jeeze, you make singleness sound so terrible. Speak for yourself, I be lovin’ the single life.”

To those people, I in turn am like, why don’t YOU shut up, because some of us are tired of being single and would like to be married? Great for you if you have reached full peace and contentment in your singleness, but some of us still would like to be married.

Here’s the link:

(Link): So, Which Is Harder, Marriage or Singleness? (via Relevant magazine) by Lizzy Harford

Singleness is often viewed as an undesirable life stage. If you ask anyone in the Church, for the most part, they despair at their single years. Singleness is hard, often lonely and unwanted.

When you’re married, you’re working and living in tandem.

You and your spouse, though separate individuals, are living together, moving along the same path with the same goals. While God is the true source of our comfort and reliance, there is an added feeling of security in marriage that singleness does not have.

…But singles are inevitably going to encounter multiple instabilities not once, not twice, but perhaps numerous times, for as long as they are single and unable to afford living on their own.

..If you’re a single Christian living in a community house, you’re going to lose roommates constantly to marriage, job loss and relocation. Roommate turnover is a very real and exhausting life stage that can be perpetuated far longer than any single was ever hoping or wanting it to.

…In congregations where marriage is upheld as the pinnacle of our spirituality and life’s calling, singles are often left out on the sidelines. It’s in this mentality of a members-only club, singles are left fending for themselves, relying on the only thing they can: themselves. And while God is and should be an ever-present comfort, being told over and over again that the Lord is your solace and should be your own source of reliance by married individuals is a hypocritical pill to swallow.

The thing is, we were never meant to live this life alone. We often think that the solution to that is marriage or feeding singles the “contentment in God speech.” The reality is the Church is meant to come alongside each and every person, married or single, young or old, and be there for them. And this means not just saying it, but doing it. The married should purposely reach out to the singles. …


Related Posts:

(Link):   The Types of Christian Singles Who Annoy Me 

(Link):   Christian ‘Married People’ Privilege – Most Marrieds Remain Amazingly Blinded to Christian Discrimination Against Singles Or Write Unmarrieds’ Concerns Off, As Though They Are Nothing Compared to Marriage/ Parenting.

(Link): Responding to the Christian Cliche’ ‘Jesus Is All You Need’ given to singles

(Link): Singleness Is Not A Gift

(Link):  Christians Advise Singles To Follow Certain Dating Advice But Then Shame, Criticize, or Punish Singles When That Advice Does Not Work

(Link): Gender Complementarian Advice to Single Women Who Desire Marriage Will Keep Them Single Forever / Re: Choosing A Spiritual Leader

(Link):  Depressing Testimony: “I Was A Stripper but Jesus Sent Me A Great Christian Husband”

(Link):   Sick of Being Single / Sick and Tired of Being Single Alone Unmarried

(Link): Single Adults – Why They Stay and Why They Stray From Church – Book Excerpts

(Link): The Obligatory, “Oh, but if you’re single you can still benefit from my marriage sermon” line

(Link): Same Old Tired Advice to Christian Singles

(Link):  New-ish Christian Cliche’ About Singlehood: “Don’t Waste Your Singleness” -or- “Make the Most of Your Singleness”

(Link):  Critique of Matt Chandler Sermon ‘Compromising a Godly Spouse Just to Get Married Yields ‘Heartbreak”

(Link):  Article: My Savior My Spouse? – Is God or Jesus Your Husband Isaiah 54:5

(Link): Typical Incorrect Conservative Christian Assumption: If you want marriage bad enough, Mr. Right will magically appear

(Link): Stop Telling Your Single Friends to Try Dating Sites – Please.

(Link): Singleness and Scripture – responding to Christian myths about singleness

(Link): 10 Things Never to Say to a Single Girl (article)

(Link):  Women: Stop Asking Pat Robertson For Romantic Relationship Advice – Whether You Are Divorced or Single  – Pat Robertson Replies to Letter from Four Time Divorced Woman Who Wants to Know If God Will Send Her a Non-Abusive Husband

(Link): A Critique of – 10 Men Christian Women Should Never Marry by J. Lee Grady / And on Christians Marrying Non Christians -and- Unrealistic, Too Rigid Spouse Selection Lists by Christians

(Link):   The Selfish, Lazy Husband Who Kept Blowing Off His Stressed Wife to Go on World War 2 Reenactments – Male Entitlement in Relationships: Why Women Divorce Men – and Churches and Culture Support This Male Entitlement

Link): Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians Re: Marriage

(Link): How Christian Teachings on Marriage/ Singleness/ Gender Roles/ Dating Are Keeping Christian Singles Single

(Link): Gender Complementarian Advice to Single Women Who Desire Marriage Will Keep Them Single Forever / Re: Choosing A Spiritual Leader

(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)

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