I Don’t Want Kids. How Can I Get People to Stop Pressuring Me Once and For All? (Ask E Jean)

I Don’t Want Kids. How Can I Get People to Stop Pressuring Me Once and For All? (Ask E Jean)

(Link): I Don’t Want Kids. How Can I Get People to Stop Pressuring Me Once and For All? – Ask E Jean

From a 38 year old woman, who says everyone and their brother asks her about when or if she’s going to have children:

I’m a devoted aunt to my nieces and nephews and have tons of respect for parents. I just don’t want to be one.

…However, everyone seems to be pressuring me to have kids! People I don’t even know well—friends of friends, random taxi drivers—constantly comment: “Why don’t you have kids yet?” or “You should have kids before it’s too late!”

 Can you please help me find a polite, nonaggressive way to shut down these conversations without sounding like a kid hater? —So Ova It!

Ova, My Orchid: When people ask, “Why don’t you have kids yet?,” smile, open your arms wide, and cry out: “Eeeeeegads! Am I not enough for you?

And then keep smiling, because the question will never, never, never cease.

When you turn 50, people will ask: “Are you considering adoption?” (Answer: “Yes. Elton John and his husband, David Furnish, are considering adopting me.”)

When you turn 60, the question will be: “Why didn’t you have kids?” (Answer: “Because I saw how your parents’ kids turned out.”)

When you turn 70, the question will be: “Do you regret not having kids?” (Answer: “Are you kidding? I still get up every morning and thank God I don’t have children!”)

When you turn 80, the question will be: “Do you wish you had kids to help you with the house?” (Answer: “I wish I had rich kids—can you lend me $1,700?”)

When you turn 90, the question will be: “Who will be at your deathbed, since you don’t have kids?” (Answer: “My husband, my dog, and my seven lovers.”)

And when you die serenely at 103, the first question the obit writer from the New York Times will ask your niece: “Why didn’t your aunt have kids?”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s