A 2017 Experiment Regarding Dating Sites Found that Personality Always Trumps Attractiveness
I can believe it, which is why although I’m picky about looks in guys, I will still give a less than stellar looking guy a chance if he has some other quality that off-sets “meh” looks, like he treats me really nice, or has a great sense of humor.
I’m afraid that 99% of American men have yet to figure this out, though – if you go through life judging women based mostly on their looks (you’re unwilling to date anything less than a stick figure Victoria Secret’s model who must be under the age of 30), as most men do, you’re either going to die a lonely, single man, or, you’re going to end up with a very pretty yet very snobbish, catty, or money grubbing bitch for a wife, and you’ll end up divorced eventually.
…The results [of the experiment]? After rating their conversation partners for attractiveness, social attractiveness, fun, humor and charisma, the dates with the best personalities had the biggest bump post-meeting in their overall attractiveness as potential partners.
…Could you be friends with this person? Likability is more of a game-changer than sexual attractiveness, Hall says. What’s more, prejudging people based on physical attractiveness also diminishes the quality of impressions and conversation itself, the study found.
….”With Tinder and user-directed online dating services, people try to manage the vast number of profiles by picking the most attractive people,” Hall said. “Several researchers have made the critique that that is not the best way to find a partner. We wanted to look at how physical attractiveness ratings change and whether evaluating a person’s photo in a lineup helps or hurts the interaction you’re going to have.”
… Hall said this finding is consistent with previously postulated Interaction Appearance Theory.
“Two characteristics played an important role in whether the rating changed,” Hall said. “One was social attractiveness, which is whether we think we could be friends. It’s not sexual attractiveness or romance, but likability. The other was combined sense-of-humor or being-a-fun-person measure. If you’re rated more highly in those two things, your appearance rating goes up more.”
Moreover, Hall said, “those who benefited the most were rated mid to low attractiveness to begin with.”
“If you are friendly and have a great sense of humor, you stand to gain a lot by getting your foot in the door. Physical attractiveness is not fixed; it’s malleable.”
As for folks already deemed attractive, the in-person meetings didn’t help improve their score much.
“You didn’t see the same increase for really attractive people,” Hall said. “There’s a ceiling effect. You can’t get much better. For those in the middle, there’s room for improvement.”
...The implication is this, Hall said: “Using physical attractiveness to sort people to date is a bad strategy. It misses a lot of what makes for a good conversation, and the characteristics of a good conversational partner change how attractive they are in your eyes.”
Hall suggests that daters ask themselves, “Would I really like to spend time with this person? Rather than go through hundreds of photos, digest a few at a time. Slow down. Be more careful about considering who you’re going to date. And if that person’s personality is wonderful, your evaluation of their physical attractiveness will follow.”
(Link): Follow Up Part 2 – Reactions by Other Writers to Sexist, Condescending 50 Something Men Who Think They Are Final Arbiters of If Women Are Attractive Past Age of 40 (Re: Esquire Editorial by Junod)