Single Workers Aren’t There to Pick Up the Slack For Their Married Bosses and Colleagues
(Link): Single Workers Aren’t There to Pick Up the Slack For Their Married Bosses and Colleagues by B. DePaulo
Too often, employers believe that single, childless people are emotionally untethered and financially untroubled, which means they ought to be free to stay late, travel on weekends, show up on holidays, and take whatever vacation slots married employees haven’t already claimed— all of which puts singles in a highly unfair (not to mention undesirable) position. It’s time that employers stopped taking advantage of single employees—and started recognizing the truth about their lives.
Single people have important ties to friends, family, and community
Negative stereotypes about single people hold that they are isolated, lonely, and focused only on themselves—perfect candidates to come in to work, or to stay there, when no one else wants to. But research shows otherwise.
…In fact, single people do more to maintain their relationships with their friends, neighbors, siblings, and parents than married people.
…Single people are rooted in their communities and towns in significant ways. They participate in public events more often, and take more music and art classes. They volunteer more than married people do for a wide variety of organizations.
…The financial fragility of people who are single
Years before my employer mindlessly presumed that I had no one to support, my mother was widowed. But he never stopped to consider whether she needed my financial support. Other single people are providing support in other ways—for example, quietly accumulating college funds for their nieces and nephews, or welcoming them into their homes when times are tough.
When single people are caring for their parents and others who need their help, they do so at greater economic risk than married people are. If they put in fewer hours at work, or step away from their jobs, they do not have a spouse to pick up the financial slack—or keep them on their employer-sponsored health insurance. Similarly, when single people get laid off or lose their jobs, they are particularly vulnerable for the same reasons.
… A study that included only women showed that by the time they are nearing retirement age, lifelong single women have far less net wealth than married women. The disparity is even bigger for black women than white women.
…Single men (though not single women) are paid less than their married counterparts. Even when single and married men have the same level of seniority and competence, and even when they are identical twins, married men are paid substantially more. Nonetheless, single men are no less generous than married men in the money they give to relatives, and more generous in the money they give to friends.
…In most nations, including the US, single people are taxed more than the couples. The disparity is greater in the US than it is in all but one of the other 34 nations.
…The real reasons you should value your single workers
Single workers shouldn’t be saddled with lower salaries or extra hours just because they’re single—they have plenty of more valuable attributes to offer employers, based on their life experiences.
…Do you want workers who have the confidence to stand by their own opinions, even when groupthink is headed in a different direction? Research suggests that single people are better at that.
…How to make your workplace equally welcoming, friendly, and fair to all your workers
…Workplace celebrations of employees who are engaged or about to parent a child may be motivated by the kindest of sentiments, but they are painful to those who only wish they had such experiences.
They are also unfair, and do not belong in the workplace.
The inappropriateness is compounded when employees are pressured into offering gifts to the newlyweds or parents. The workplace should be about work.
Any celebrations should be limited to occasions everyone experiences, such as birthdays, or just to work-related accomplishments. Of course, coworkers who are friends can celebrate whatever they like, on their own time, in venues outside of the workplace.
(( read the rest here ))
(Link): Your Church’s Mother’s Day Carnation is Not Worth Any Woman’s Broken Heart – A Critique of ‘When Mother’s Day Feels Like a Minefield’ by L. L. Fields
(Link): ‘Why Are You Single’ Lists That Do Not Pathologize Singles
(Link): When Your Personal, Private Choices Enrage Others by Bella DePaulo (Regarding People Who are Single and/or Childfree)
(Link): Critique of Federalist Editorial “There Is One Pro-Women Camp In American Politics, And It’s The Right by Elle Reynolds” – Do Federalist Magazine Members Realize There Are Single, Childless Conservative Women?
(Link): Theme Park Bans Single Adults For Fear They Are All Pedophiles
(Link): Stigmas and Stereotypes of Single Unmarried Men Over 25 or 30 Years of Age – They’re Supposedly All Homosexual or Pedophiles
(Link): Christian Blogger About Divorce, Pastor Andrew Webb, Thinks All To Most Mid-Life Never – Married or Single – Again Adults Are Mal-Adjusted, Ugly Losers Who Have Too Much Baggage
(Link): Church Allows Pedophile To Lead Bible Studies, Hails Pedo as a “Hero” – Meanwhile, Many Churches Refuse to Allow Celibate, Single Adults to Hold Any Sort of Leadership Positions
(Link): Are Single People the Lepers of Today’s Church? by Gina Dalfonzo
(Link): Thirty Year Old Woman Kills Herself Due to Being Single and Childless – Churches contribute to this by either Ignoring adult singles or shaming them for being single and childless
(Link): Typical Incorrect Conservative Christian Assumption: If you want marriage bad enough, Mr. Right will magically appear
(Link): Otherhood – An overlooked demographic – the Childless and Childfree Women and Singles Especially Women Who Had Hoped to Marry and Have Kids But Never Met Mr. Right (links)
(Link): Really, It’s Okay To Be Single – In order to protect marriage, we should be careful not to denigrate singleness – by Peter Chin
(Link): Why all the articles about being Child Free? On Being Childfree or Childless – as a Conservative / Right Wing / Christian
(Link): Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother
(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings
One thought on “Single Workers Aren’t There to Pick Up the Slack For Their Married Bosses and Colleagues by B. DePaulo”
Wow! You took the words out of my mouth. Been there and done that. I can’t tell you the number of times I have had an assignment handed to me at the end of the day and told, we need this first thing–and it turns out that the person handing it to me had been sitting on it all day. But, hey, they have family obligations and I don’t, you see. Never mind that I am active in community and volunteer work, my time and commitments are not as valuable as theirs and can be waived at will (and if someone else is depending on me, too bad). It’s actually selfish for me to want them to be a little more proactive in getting things to me in a timely matter. No, this was not said to me in exactly those words but the meaning was obvious.
Another myth that I have run into is the idea that because a person is single and doesn’t have kids they are rolling in money. Actually, as you pointed out, single women are likely to have less net wealth AND they are taxed higher. Many married women are living relatively comfortable lives because they have their income AND their husband’s income which gives them more choices in life. Were they to have to have to live on only their income, they would find things very, very different indeed. I once heard a financial planner address a group of women by telling them that unless they took steps now to ensure their financial future they might be in for a rude awakening should their spouses pass away. I asked, what about women like myself who have never married? Well, sucks to be you. If things are tight now (and they are, living on a single income in a dual-income economy) they will be even tighter.
But of course, all the abstinence and purity and wait until marriage groups NEVER talk about this sort of thing. Of course not. Because, being married, they haven’t a clue as to the economics of being single. As someone who IS living the lifestyle they advocate, my advice to star-struck teen women gazing at their purity rings and pledges is, either marry young, right off the bat, or, forget about marriage and concentrate on making yourself marketable in a career that pays enough for you to support yourself above a just-scraping-by, paycheck-to-paycheck level. That means making smart choices about school–that Gender Studies degree may sound fun but will it pay the rent? Maybe college isn’t even the right choice. Women today have more opportunities for better paying (code: traditionally male) jobs than they did 40 years ago. But make sure YOU can support yourself, because you may very well have to.
Comments are closed.