What the Single in Your Pew Needs from You by G. Dalfonzo

What the Single in Your Pew Needs from You by G. Dalfonzo

Good on her for writing this, but I can tell you that 99.9% of American churches will ignore this advice because they don’t care about singles: they prefer to worship The Nuclear Families.

(Link): What the Single in Your Pew Needs from You

Excerpts:

Singles are on the rise. Here’s what forward-looking churches need to know.

According to recent Pew data, the (Link): number of married Americans is at its lowest point since at least 1920. In 2015, only half of Americans ages 18 and over were married, (Link): compared with 72 percent in 1960.

Put another way: Singles are on the rise and beginning to outnumber marrieds. The church, however, doesn’t reflect those numbers.

According to a (Link): recent Barna study, while more than half of Americans (54%) between the ages of 18 and 49 are single, only 23 percent of active churchgoers are single. “Your church should be filling up at least half of your pews with single people,” (Link): writes Joyce Chiu for Barna Trends. “So what will get them there?”

…..So how can your local church create a welcoming space for singles?

Recognize that single people’s needs may look different from yours.
When a single person talks about feeling lonely, it’s common for a married person to counter that he or she often feels lonely, too. That’s not surprising. Studies show that up to half of us experience loneliness “at least some of the time.”

However, studies also show that singles are more likely than married people to feel lonely. Furthermore, singles often experience a qualitatively different kind of loneliness that includes physical as well as emotional isolation. So when we reach out to you for support, be willing to listen to our stories, take us seriously, and acknowledge our feelings.

If you have the capacity, draw us into your family life, too.

Recognize our disadvantages.

Those of us who are single often find ourselves “outside the system” of family-focused churches and face the awkward, abashed silence that ensues when we say we don’t have spouses or kids. We often end up sitting alone in the service week after week. We sometimes get overlooked when people are getting together socially.

Serve singles, and recognize that singles often serve without reciprocation.

…Even minor things matter. One woman I interviewed told me that she didn’t mind caring for children in the church nursery, but sometimes she wished some of those parents would reciprocate by helping her with household repairs or offering other assistance.

(( click here to read the rest ))


Related Posts:

(Link): Are Single People the Lepers of Today’s Church? by Gina Dalfonzo

(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy”

(Link): Article by J. Watts: The Scandal of Singleness

(Link): Seven Reasons Why It’s Hard To Be Single In The Church by Sarah The Barge

(Link): The Obligatory, “Oh, but if you’re single you can still benefit from my marriage sermon” line

(Link):  Statistics Show Single Adults Now Outnumber Married Adults in the United States

(Link): There is No Such Thing as a Gift of Singleness or Gift of Celibacy or A Calling To Either One

(Link):  Single and 40: Dealing with Disappointment by L. Bishop

(Link):  More Anti-Singleness Bias From Southern Baptist Al Mohler – Despite the Bible Says It Is Better Not To Marry

(Link): Salvation By Marriage Alone – The Over Emphasis Upon Marriage by Conservative Christians Evangelicals Southern Baptists

(Link): Is Singleness A Sin? by Camerin Courtney

(Link): Ever Notice That Christians Don’t Care About or Value Singleness, Unless Jesus Christ’s Singleness and Celibacy is Doubted or Called Into Question by Scholars?

(Link):  Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians Re: Marriage

(Link):   Really, It’s Okay To Be Single – In order to protect marriage, we should be careful not to denigrate singleness – by Peter Chin 

(Link):  You Will Be Ignored After Your Spouse Dies

(Link):  Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal

(Link): Never Married Adult Woman Says Married Friends Did Not Help Her When She Was Sick

(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)

(Link): Single Adults – Why They Stay and Why They Stray From Church – Book Excerpts

(Link): Married Couple Almost Starve Adopted 8 Year Old To Death – you don’t have to achieve perfection or sinlessness before God will send you a spouse

(Link): List of Christian Singlehood Annoyances, Part 1

(Link): Stop telling single women they’re fabulous! by S. Eckel

(Link): Myths About Never Married Adults Over Age 40

(Link): Isn’t It Time the Church Gave Singles a Break? (editorial from another blog)

(Link): Are Christian Singles The New Second Class Christian? by Duke Taber

(Link): “Family-ing” Single Adults by D. Franck – How Churches Can Minister to Single Adults

(Link): Unmarried America: How Single Adults Are Changing the Face of the U.S. and What It Means for the Church by R. Hurst

(Link): The Singles Challenge ( Single Christian over 35 years old never married )

(Link): The Bible Does Not Teach Christians to “Focus On The Family” – The Idolization of Family by American Christians (article)

(Link): Preachers and Christian Media Personalities: Re: Marriage – You’re missing the point stop trying to argue or shame singles into getting married

(Link): How Christians and Churches Can Be of Help to Older Singles (copy)

(Link): Ministering to the Unmarried by Noel Cameron

(Link): So There Are More Single People, but It’s Still a Couples’ World (article)

(Link): Study: People today living alone more than ever before

(Link): The Cloying Annoying Nauseating G-Rated Wholesome Saccharin Sweet Tone of Articles by Christians For Christian Singles – Christian Material For Singles is LAME

(Link): The Bible Calls Christians to Make Individual Disciples, Not to “Change Culture” Nor to Save, Redeem Culture Nor to Save or Promote Marriage or Manufacture Christianized Entertainment

(Link): Singles Shaming at The Vintage church in Raleigh – Singlehood Shaming / Celibate Shaming

(Link): Christian TV Personality ( Jimmy Evans ) Says You Cannot Meet God’s Destiny For Your Life Without A Spouse = Anti Singleness Singlehood Singles Bias Prejudice Making Idol out of Marriage

(Link): Single Christian Women Have No Protection according to some preachers – only married women have protection

(Link): The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single

(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

(Link): Are There Any Protestant or Baptist Singles – Friendly Churches or Denominations ? / Singles Single Adult Childfree Childless Age 30 40 50 Christian

(Link): Some strands of patriarchy and Christian gender complementarianism teaching: adult singles are not full human beings, not fully in the image of God – you must marry and/or have children to fully reflect God until then you are sub human (Why Christians and singles should be concerned about the gender role debates)

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