What the Single in Your Pew Needs from You by G. Dalfonzo
Good on her for writing this, but I can tell you that 99.9% of American churches will ignore this advice because they don’t care about singles: they prefer to worship The Nuclear Families.
(Link): What the Single in Your Pew Needs from You
Excerpts:
Singles are on the rise. Here’s what forward-looking churches need to know.
According to recent Pew data, the (Link): number of married Americans is at its lowest point since at least 1920. In 2015, only half of Americans ages 18 and over were married, (Link): compared with 72 percent in 1960.
Put another way: Singles are on the rise and beginning to outnumber marrieds. The church, however, doesn’t reflect those numbers.
According to a (Link): recent Barna study, while more than half of Americans (54%) between the ages of 18 and 49 are single, only 23 percent of active churchgoers are single. “Your church should be filling up at least half of your pews with single people,” (Link): writes Joyce Chiu for Barna Trends. “So what will get them there?”
…..So how can your local church create a welcoming space for singles?
Recognize that single people’s needs may look different from yours.
When a single person talks about feeling lonely, it’s common for a married person to counter that he or she often feels lonely, too. That’s not surprising. Studies show that up to half of us experience loneliness “at least some of the time.”
However, studies also show that singles are more likely than married people to feel lonely. Furthermore, singles often experience a qualitatively different kind of loneliness that includes physical as well as emotional isolation. So when we reach out to you for support, be willing to listen to our stories, take us seriously, and acknowledge our feelings.
If you have the capacity, draw us into your family life, too.
…Recognize our disadvantages.
Those of us who are single often find ourselves “outside the system” of family-focused churches and face the awkward, abashed silence that ensues when we say we don’t have spouses or kids. We often end up sitting alone in the service week after week. We sometimes get overlooked when people are getting together socially.
…Serve singles, and recognize that singles often serve without reciprocation.
…Even minor things matter. One woman I interviewed told me that she didn’t mind caring for children in the church nursery, but sometimes she wished some of those parents would reciprocate by helping her with household repairs or offering other assistance.
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Related Posts:
(Link): Are Single People the Lepers of Today’s Church? by Gina Dalfonzo
(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy”
(Link): Article by J. Watts: The Scandal of Singleness
(Link): Seven Reasons Why It’s Hard To Be Single In The Church by Sarah The Barge
(Link): The Obligatory, “Oh, but if you’re single you can still benefit from my marriage sermon” line
(Link): Statistics Show Single Adults Now Outnumber Married Adults in the United States
(Link): There is No Such Thing as a Gift of Singleness or Gift of Celibacy or A Calling To Either One
(Link): Single and 40: Dealing with Disappointment by L. Bishop
(Link): Is Singleness A Sin? by Camerin Courtney
(Link): You Will Be Ignored After Your Spouse Dies
(Link): Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal
(Link): Never Married Adult Woman Says Married Friends Did Not Help Her When She Was Sick
(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)
(Link): Single Adults – Why They Stay and Why They Stray From Church – Book Excerpts
(Link): List of Christian Singlehood Annoyances, Part 1
(Link): Stop telling single women they’re fabulous! by S. Eckel
(Link): Myths About Never Married Adults Over Age 40
(Link): Isn’t It Time the Church Gave Singles a Break? (editorial from another blog)
(Link): Are Christian Singles The New Second Class Christian? by Duke Taber
(Link): “Family-ing” Single Adults by D. Franck – How Churches Can Minister to Single Adults
(Link): The Singles Challenge ( Single Christian over 35 years old never married )
(Link): How Christians and Churches Can Be of Help to Older Singles (copy)
(Link): Ministering to the Unmarried by Noel Cameron
(Link): So There Are More Single People, but It’s Still a Couples’ World (article)
(Link): Study: People today living alone more than ever before
(Link): Singles Shaming at The Vintage church in Raleigh – Singlehood Shaming / Celibate Shaming
