Bugging Your Friend to Get Into a Relationship? How Amatonormative of You. by L. Bonos

Bugging Your Friend to Get Into a Relationship? How Amatonormative of You. by L. Bonos

(Link): Bugging Your Friend to Get Into a Relationship? How Amatonormative of You. by L. Bonos


Being single is not necessarily a problem to be fixed, but it often gets treated that way. In women’s magazines that trumpet how to find your soul mate. In rom-coms where the hot mess of a single protagonist ends up with a man. In conversations in which married friends presume that their single friends would automatically be better off with a partner, any partner.

But what’s a single person to do when what she needs most is … to stop getting so much unsolicited advice?

When I asked Mandy Len Catron, author of “How to Fall in Love With Anyone,” for advice on how to deal with the advice deluge, she had a succinct answer. Tell the person with a presumed answer to your presumed problem: “Stop being so amatonormative.”

“Amatonormativity” is a relatively new term — coined about five years ago by Elizabeth Brake, an associate professor of philosophy at Arizona State University and the author of “Minimizing Marriage” — to capture two widely held assumptions.

The first being that a person who isn’t in a monogamous romantic relationship is seeking that type of relationship, and the second being that that person would automatically be better off in a monogamous romantic relationship than he or she would be while single or in another type of relationship.

…“There’s nothing wrong with wanting a relationship,” she [Catron] added. “I think that’s fine. But I think most of the advice you get is sort of guided by that presumption, which makes it not that useful. Because it isn’t really about you; it’s about our culture.”

(( read the rest ))

Related Posts:

(Link):  Statistics Show Single Adults Now Outnumber Married Adults in the United States

(Link):  Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal

(Link):  Single and 40: Dealing with Disappointment by L. Bishop

(Link): Ever Notice That Christians Don’t Care About or Value Singleness, Unless Jesus Christ’s Singleness and Celibacy is Doubted or Called Into Question by Scholars?

(Link): So There Are More Single People, but It’s Still a Couples’ World (article)

(Link): Study: People today living alone more than ever before

(Link):  Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians Re: Marriage

(Link):   Really, It’s Okay To Be Single – In order to protect marriage, we should be careful not to denigrate singleness – by Peter Chin 

(Link): Stop telling single women they’re fabulous! by S. Eckel

(Link): Myths About Never Married Adults Over Age 40

(Link): Isn’t It Time the Church Gave Singles a Break? (editorial from another blog)

(Link): Unmarried America: How Single Adults Are Changing the Face of the U.S. and What It Means for the Church by R. Hurst

(Link): Are Christian Singles The New Second Class Christian? by Duke Taber

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